Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

where are you going to park :D .. Khair like someone said, if your husband isn't the one picking you and dropping you off, just don't go.

Oh lord. you know we just got a car, and parking is such a (@&#$(@&#$@. People can be such idiots too, right in front of our building, there is space... and some jackasses park their car in a way that even though there's enough space for 2 cars... no other car can fit in. If that make any sense....but i'm going Offtopic here....

[Spiral]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

Yeah. I feel like putting a note on those cars.. “Learn to park” Don’t you have your own parking? That’s why Queens > Brooklyn

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

No unfortunately, not every building offers parking spaces.... and some charge hundreds extra per month for it....it took my husband a few weeks to get used to the parking rules, and which side of the street prohibits parking from certain hours etc.

[CoughCough]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

Parking in the city is a nightmare and costs an organ.

Drivers in the city are worse. I was inches from stepping out of my car and murdering some lady in an ashton because she kept honking at me because I wasn't flooring it at every green light.

[STA]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

parking in big cities like ny sucks.

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

you know, ab mujhe bohot sharam aa ri hai after reading these posts. :(

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

^

smiley tu sharam wali use ker laitee

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

woh konsi smilie hai?

[hareem01]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

My friends always offer to pick and drop...they want me to go out with them etc and sometimes I do go with them but it's always them who are in need of me (they say they don't enjoy without me and my kids) ..but even then they'd advice me to learn driving and I think they say that for my own sake. And no matter how nice someone is, they will get annoyed after driving you around 3 or 4 times. I once decided to ask my friend for taking me to swimming lessons but then couldn't bring myself to ask her for a favour.

[Mad_Hatter]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

My friends know I don't have a car and always make sure I'm going with them or that I'm okay to get to a place. Fair enough your friend might have been a bit annoyed that you asked her, some people do feel like that (my sister hates having to drive me anywhere cos she can't be bothered)
But I think the comment about driving was a bit unnecessary. To say it once is one thing, but to say it again is a bit silly.

[Lusi]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

I remember when I was living with my parents, I used to drive them whenever, they had to use a highway. This aunty who lived sort of lose to us always made an excuse about her daughter being busy with school or whatever. In the end I would always or majority of the time end up giving her a ride too. When I moved away and mom needed a ride, she became quite stinky and say things here n there that would hurt my mom. If she'd make excuse for not coming, other people would tell her to take a ride with that certain aunty (ofcourse no one was aware of her stinky behavior). Thank fully, my brother quickly stepped in and started taking her to places, he also taught my mother alternative routes she can use and not worry about the highway. When the aunty saw my brother has started taking mom, she again started making excuses for her daughter not being able to take her. Long story short, my mom was quite fed up with her drama so to minimize the drama, she decided to reduce this car pool thing, she would just say brother has plans and she is not sure if they can accommodate her. Yes, there are still times when she will force a car pooling deal. I am not saying she is all bad, like all of us she has her goods and bads.

I don't think, my story is related to your issues. But car pooling has its own issues, especially when someone starts making judgement/taunting comments, even when you are trying not to be a burden on an other person. I would simply suggest, if you can not manage the trip on your own, just make an excuse. If I was in your place, I wouldn't be car pooling with this person no matter how close of a friends we are. Unfortunately, life is easier and relationships are better when you are not dependent on people.

[Milly]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

I hated asking people for lifts before I could drive and I never did. If I have the capacity to do something myself, I try and do it. Even if it meant walking home at 01.00, I walked home. However, most of my friends would just automatically think that I would be going to wherever they were going as they were going to take me. If it was somewhere I couldnt get to easily by foot, bus, train...I wouldnt go.

[Hulahoop_Queen]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

I am exact same. I live in the city and don't drive. Never felt the need to.

But if someone asks me to go to a place and there is no public transportation there, I straight up say no.

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

I remember when I was living with my parents, I used to drive them whenever, they had to use a highway. This aunty who lived sort of lose to us always made an excuse about her daughter being busy with school or whatever. In the end I would always or majority of the time end up giving her a ride too. When I moved away and mom needed a ride, she became quite stinky and say things here n there that would hurt my mom. If she'd make excuse for not coming, other people would tell her to take a ride with that certain aunty (ofcourse no one was aware of her stinky behavior). Thank fully, my brother quickly stepped in and started taking her to places, he also taught my mother alternative routes she can use and not worry about the highway. When the aunty saw my brother has started taking mom, she again started making excuses for her daughter not being able to take her. Long story short, my mom was quite fed up with her drama so to minimize the drama, she decided to reduce this car pool thing, she would just say brother has plans and she is not sure if they can accommodate her. Yes, there are still times when she will force a car pooling deal. I am not saying she is all bad, like all of us she has her goods and bads.

I don't think, my story is related to your issues. But car pooling has its own issues, especially when someone starts making judgement/taunting comments, even when you are trying not to be a burden on an other person. I would simply suggest, if you can not manage the trip on your own, just make an excuse. If I was in your place, I wouldn't be car pooling with this person no matter how close of a friends we are. Unfortunately, life is easier and relationships are better when you are not dependent on people.

I don't think I've ever been this dramaybazi or had a bad attitude towards anyone... on the other hand, when we didn't have a car, my husband would encourage me to ask others if htey can pick me up and/or drop me off, which I never really liked doing (because these were ppl I hardly knew/wasn't close to). i was never comfortable asking though.

Honestly, I hate having to depend on anyone, I really do. Back when I was living wiht my parents, my father couldnt' drive at night, my mother didn't drive at all, and they would never let me ride with anyone else; public trasnportation was out of the question..so...yeah, I hated not being able to do anything, either limitations set by others or myself.... so I try not to be like that.

I am exact same. I live in the city and don't drive. Never felt the need to.

But if someone asks me to go to a place and there is no public transportation there, I straight up say no.

thank you, someone who knows!

[TheNoodle]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

Too sensitive and unreasonable? Relax, you are being a woman. :D

[stoppit]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

This is not really a comment on this particular situation but I feel it is important to be able to drive. I would persuade a non-driving friend to learn as well.

I left learning quite late for the same reason - public transport was good and served my purposes. I occasionally needed a lift but then a family member would do it. Since I've been married, I still mostly use public transport when I'm on my own. Anywhere we go in the car, hubby is usually with me so he drives. Or gives me a lift/picks me up if needed.

However, I'm glad I do know how to because I can't imagine not being able to have the independence it gives - you never know when you may need to.

[cherryontop]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

It's good you're learning Sara! I can't imagine not driving just because of the independence it gives you and you never know when you might need to drive even someone else's car in case of an emergency.

Your friend though seems a little rude for making this a big deal because she's going to the same place and she's taking people who you know well too. Don't know what the big deal is. Some people however aren't too fond of doing acts of kindness generally because they feel used so maybe she's one of those?

[nadeemnirvana]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

Your husband cannot be botthered to drop you, and you expect your friend to take you. You will rely on someone in this situation as you say its expensive to travel yourself.

I would ask hubby to drop you then friend can drop you home, how is that as a solution?

[Iyla]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

@heyhey

Sorry but if you are unwilling to live in the real world and drive, then its no ones responsibility to be your chauffeur.

If you cant ask your husband, why do you think it okay to ask a friend? It doesnt matter if she is going to the same place as you, its not her job or responsibility to give you a ride.

You make it sound like she has driven you places before, and she has agreed to give you a ride this time, so I dont understand what your problem is? If she is irritable, she has every right to be because you cant do something so elementary and you are placing you and your husbands responsibility on her.

Just learn how to drive and stop asking people for rides, and get over yourself.

:k: :k:

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

@stoppit

This is not really a comment on this particular situation but I feel it is important to be able to drive. I would persuade a non-driving friend to learn as well.

I left learning quite late for the same reason - public transport was good and served my purposes. I occasionally needed a lift but then a family member would do it.

Exactly my situation.......I know the importance of driving...no argument against that.
but I also don't need to be treated like crap for not being able to drive (yet).

@nadeemnirvana

Your husband cannot be botthered to drop you, and you expect your friend to take you. You will rely on someone in this situation as you say its expensive to travel yourself.

I would ask hubby to drop you then friend can drop you home, how is that as a solution?

friend = family member/people going = all ppl I've grown up with (Not that it matters?). Yes, I realize this is one instance of being dependent on someone; but I dont' think few/rare instances = constnat dependency. Just my take on it. Anyways 've figured out the solution to it, and future situations. Again, it wasn't that big of a deal; I didn't think I was wrong but I did have some doubts , hence why I posted it here.