Who wants to walk in wearing the same outfit and all that??? Hello cheesiness!!!
LOL!!!!!! Ditto!
Jalebi,
ONLY little kids.....can pull off identical outfits.........and maybe people in uniforms. Other than these two exceptions.......matchy matchy looks eeeewww!
Here's what I think. We can't judge you because you know your cousin better than we do. You have had ENOUGH experiences with this girl to be wary of her. If she's screwed you over in the past, there's no guarantee she won't do it again.....in a joint-dholki. And you've said that you wouldn't mind a joint event if you liked the person but in this case you don't and that's a valid point for refusal.
Also, you KNOW your relatives in Pak better than we do. And I know from experience that relatives in Pak tend not to understand the concept of tact and self-esteem. They don't think twice about comparing one cousin to another. Heck.......they'll even pit your against your own sibling.....and not give a second thought to the potentially damaging effects of their actions. And.......relos like that .......won't learn. They're not going to change. And you can't control them. You can only take action/control of your life.....which you have done by talking to your parents about this issue.
So, I think you should relax because EVEN your parents agree with you. And since they are on your side, you'll inshaAllah get the support and the separate dholki you dream of.
I think you've alreay made your decision that you will not have a joint dholki and that's fine.
I think the question is now how to get the message across forcefully. I think you should talk to your parents about this, and they will handle in the best way with your uncle or whoever's in charge of that other dholke.. they'll also probably listen to what you say and give in to your wishes because you're getting married and parents become super soft during that time. so leave all the that stress to parents to handle it, while you plan all the fun part of how your dholki should go.
During this time just minimzie conversations with your cousins: the last thing you want is a dholki competition (which I get the feeling is sort of inevitable, but to minimize..), where you try to outdo each other's dholki. So just do it your way, don't tell her every detail about your own dholki, and don't ask for details about hers.
wait wait wait, you could agree for a joint dholki but secretly plan your own dholki on a separate day and then not show up to the joint dholki, that would be awesome and mean.
OMG NO!! I thought it was a fun idea too!!!! AND I ACTUALLY LOVED THE SAME CLOTHES IDEA FOR A DHOLKI- especially if it's like same pattern but different color!!. i know i know, i put my head down in shame!! haha. But then, I don't really have any issues with my cousin. I think the original poster has too many issue with her cousin that are complicated, and she just feels plain uncomfortable.....
However, I think a joint dholki is a nice topic for the wedding forum especially if the two girls get along together!! I mean they could even do a dance to gether!!!that would be so CUTE ;)
yeah i wouldnt have minded it actually. My bhabi got married a week before i.. and our functions were all over the place.. we were thinking of getting married the same day.. but then our parents thought we should both get our own limelight..
khair yes, if u have issues than i guess forget it
wait wait wait, you could agree for a joint dholki but secretly plan your own dholki on a separate day and then not show up to the joint dholki, that would be awesome and mean.
LOL ok you really did make me die laughing. thanks for your input ;)
I think you've alreay made your decision that you will not have a joint dholki and that's fine.
problem solved :) thanks everyone, you guys are the best!