she wants us to walk in at the same time, wear the same outfits, and everything! like truth be told, its not even just about sharing a day with someone, i wouldnt ever mind if it was someone i was close to....but the thought of sharing it with someone that I have this awfully strained relationship makes my head spin.
Then drop her like hot potatoe!
No bride should be feeling this tensed.
You plan your stuff, just don't tell her. Then once planning, date, invites all are done, then just "pass" the message to her that so and so day will be your dholki....WITHOUT any considerations of her thinking on a joint event.
If she mentions anything, then say, well this is how things got planned out... then cut the conversation, and run...... lol