am i being selfish?

Pendu, the issue here is not pardoning. The cousin has not asked Jalebi for forgiveness. She has asked Jalebi to do a joint-dholki. And Jalebi mentioned that the main purpose is to reduce the cost. Separate event cost greater than joint events.

Jalebi told the cousin that she didn't want a joint-dholki......and the cousin persisted. There's no gunnah for people to have separate events. Also, even in Islam....it is said that if you go to visit someone.....and if you can tell that the host is in a bad mood....or in no mood to invite you inside.....you shouldn't burden or impose upon him. This is how I look at it. If someone's heart is not into something......then why continue imposing, pressurizing the person? It's not right. It's no sin to refuse a dholki.....but it IS considered tactless/disrespectful for someone to ignore your wishes as if they didn't hear you or chose not to hear you.