awwww... u'd think at 3 months he would be too young to protest! but you can never rely on children!!!
my sisters little girl is 4, and she is such a nakhre wali... she wants matching jewellery, matching shoes and bangles. my sister recently saw her drawing a pic of some clothes and when my sister asked what it was, she told her she was designing her clothes for khala's wedding...!!
There is no fooling her... she will shout and scream and throw things about if asked to wear something she believes doesn't match. my sister is not looking forward to her wedding....
Dulhan! Stay positive and think positive! This too shall pass so dont even think about the negative details like your bhabi and her attitude. This is one of the most important days of your life and I want you to remember it with happiness and joy for years to come...:)
I really do understand how much you want the girls to look beautiful on the big day. My niece's outfit for my wedding is going to be a bridal...she is only 2 but she will be DOLLED UP to the HILT!!! Everyone thinks Im nuts but I dont care...I love that child to death and adore seeing her dressed up. Mashallah, she is a cutie pie.
Fikar not, you will be blessed for all you have been through and done for your family. If she is wrong - and she is, she will pay the price when Allah swt deems its time to. Leave it to him and forget about it. :)
dulhan to be i agree with some posters that if she doesn't get along with u well she might not be happy with her husband over spending on ur wedding.Also its ur wedding n u r highly excited n so is ur mom dad n siblings but its not mandatory for her to be excited.may be coz u r not involving her in ur party arrangemnts or shopping.She is ur brothers wife so ur brothers money is her n her kids.u hav no claim or right in ur brothers earning.So may be infront of ur bhabi u can suggest to ur brother"bhai i appreciate lakin plz itna bhi na kerain k mujhay sharmindagi ho"Also near wedding thanks both ur brother n Bhabi for their financial n other support.After wedding send a special thank u card for Both of them.
i would suggest don't make an issue out of it. u can invite her n nieces to go shopping with u. while shopping u might suggest few outfits u like for her or the neices with "oh bhabi i'm sure ye aap pe buhat acha lagay ga.plz try ker k dikhain na"
but don't gift her or the Nieces outfits coz if ur bhabi doesn't allow them to wear ur picks on ur day u'll be more shocked n bitter.so don't let that situation come.
Just had a long chat with sis. put it all into perspective. all i can do is ask if all my neices wear the same, and if she says no, her loss. i have tried and will keep trying to include her in all the festivities, and if she says no, her loss.
most important thing is that i'm marrying the love of my life, inshallah. and pls everyone pray for us to be happy and healthy.
it's great you feel this way D2b, b/c you want her to look good at your wedding. But you really can only change so much of a person. If she still is persistent with her opinions, then just change your perspective: She's the one looking bad, not you- and no1 will be judging YOU about your clothes, but people WILL talk about how funny SHE looks.
i guess, partly you being cow. mother should have some right what she want to dress her daughters. she lie about the dress cause she want to keep as surprise and dont want to disclose to you too early for the reason you mention as you dont seem to like her style. if she wear same as daughters, whats wrong with it?
and if you want them to look like specifically , buy them dress "according" to your requirment and they may wear them.
OKAY this is freaking ridiculous and yes u r becoming a little more sensitive
sweety i am sure u r one beautiful bride and going through this hard time of getting married
but trust me u seriously u need to draw a line and try to accept people's own choices this is bcz you dont possess them you posses ur self only n try keeping things simpler that way u will much much happier
i guess, partly you being cow. mother should have some right what she want to dress her daughters. she lie about the dress cause she want to keep as surprise and dont want to disclose to you too early for the reason you mention as you dont seem to like her style. if she wear same as daughters, whats wrong with it?
and if you want them to look like specifically , buy them dress "according" to your requirment and they may wear them.
^ well, i think she shouldn't be lying to begin with.
"partly you being cow" - shall we use the word oversensitive rather than resorting to insults please.
please read the whole thread before commenting as you've missed the main thrust of what I was upset at... and that was her lack of interest in my wedding. I felt put out as she made a big effort for her neices weddings and for past weddings in her family, yet said she would not buy any new clothes for mine.
she has no idea i do not like her style - in fact i tell her she looks good whenever she dresses up. i am not some evil nand that picks on her sister-in-law at all times. I am a teacher, I have a good idea about how to maintain good social relationships. However, I am human and can be hurt by others actions.
if she wear same as daughters, whats wrong with it? - her daughters are 11 and she is 40 (said 37 before, missed a few years!) Either her style does not suit my neices who look like an aunty should be dressed or she looks out of place wearing something that suits the girls. And once, twice or maybe 3 times may be fine, but to only buy clothes in sets of three gets a little tiresome and many of our extended family have commented on it and made jokes about it. There is only so much defending her we can do...
I have mentioned that after having a good nights sleep I realised I was being silly about caring what she wears. But I do want all my neices to be my bridesmaids in these dresses and don't feel that I'm being unreasonable for asking that. Anyway, have enquired about the dresses and once i've got both sets of parents permission (and the girls) I will put an order in.
I don't think anyone will be that unreasonable to say that I cannot have my own neices as my bridesmaids. And if they are then oh well... They will look beautiful anyway as they are my neices.
[quote] if she wear same as daughters, whats wrong with it?
[/quote]
mutton dressed as lamb comes to mind!
sorry i knw shes ur bhabi but theres no disrespect intended there. It just reminds me of aunties who try and dress the same as me and aunties are 50 whereas im 20!!!
the girls will most probably get fed up of it when their older and you guys as her family shouldn't mask it up u shud tell her that ppl are making jokes about u behind ur back because its not her besthee as a family its everyones besthee!
I would tell anyone in my family who was in the same situation straight out! even if she gets frustrated she will sooner or later appreciate that you told her the truth
dulhan to be, you are being a tad over sensitive, but i can totally understand that you want your family to be co-ordinated with you, and its unfair that your nieces are the odd-ones out, just b'cos your bhabi doesnt want to co-operate, but i can understand her point of view, it is very difficult to fork out for a wedding and outfits, and these days everyone has colour co-ordinated wedding, which cost an arm and a leg...but she needs to understand that this is their phuppos wedding, it is an exception...i would suggets that you gift outfits to your neices, and if your bhabi looks out of place let it be, at least your bridesmaids will look perfect next to you.
I can't believe that your bhabi wears matching outfits with her little girls, that is ridiculous...give it a few years, your neices will revolt themselves and not wanna be seen in public wearing matching outfits to their mum
