Just came back from my bro and bhabhi’s house. As I’m getting married in Aug I’ve been looking at clothes for my neices (11 yrs old). I showed pics to my neices who liked the clothes but said to ask their mum. I went in the kitchen to speak to her (her friend was there also) and asked if she had ordered clothes for the wedding.
She said she’d ordered the wedding one (lie, its aleady here and my neices showed it to me and its an awful tacky lengha and she’s got the same as them, she’s 37 and they are 11) - **so first blow to me as she was lying… **
Then she said as her neice got married last week, she’s going to wear all the clothes she wore at her wedding to mine and not order anything else. So no point in ordering the others for my neices as she can’t afford new clothes (lie again, as mashallah my brother has good job and she works too) - **2nd blow to me as she’s shown she doesn’t care bout me enough to buy new clothes for my wedding. **
Last point (promise I’ll stop soon) all the clothes were horrible and ordered from India (cheap material and big fat plastic stones as embroidery) and she always wears the same as my neices (they are twins so she tries to be the triplet…)
Am I being a cow or have I got the right to feel upset???
Unless she's wearing her own wedding dress with the duputta on top and jewelery adn all :@: i think ur being just a bit too sensitive. what does it matter what she's gonna be wearing to YOUR wedding? it's not like YOU have to wear the ugly outfit.
and u can alwyas get ur neices something nice if u really want them to wear it.
because she's my family... i wanted all my family wearing nice clothes. all similar shades. she's going to be in my pics etc... i don't wanna feel embarassed at wat she's wearing
one more thing... don't u have enough to worry abt with your OWN jewelery/outfit/etc? its not worth wasting your time/energy over what someone else will wear. Who knows maybe her financial situation is a bit tight and doesnt want to. and she's jsut being practical?
thanks for congrats... I could do something about it, I'm rather spoilt (my bro is eldest and i'm the baby, 15 years younger than him) I'm just try to get others perspectives on it so i know if I'm being a spoilt madam or it really is an issue...
one more thing... don't u have enough to worry abt with your OWN jewelery/outfit/etc? its not worth wasting your time/energy over what someone else will wear. Who knows maybe her financial situation is a bit tight and doesnt want to. and she's jsut being practical?
*her financial situation isn't tight for sure.. but my bro is helping a lot with the wedding. maybe it was a dig at me that she can't afford clothes cos of that... *
I was looking forward to going shopping with the family to get their clothes. My other bhabhi is always asking my opinion on wat colours to get, and my sis lives abroad and will not order until we are together to choose. just feel like she's distancing herself from us. her family has always been first for her and she can order all new outfits for all of her neices' weddings but not mine... I'm the last in my family to be married, its a really big occasion for everyone else in my family. Just not her it seems...
Some people dont like to spend so much money on clothes...its just a personal thing. It seems as if she isnt someone who likes to stay up to date necessarily and is frugal with her money. She may not believe that your wedding warrants a brand new line of outfits.
You have to consider how pricey it is to get a good quality lehnga or outfit these days also...especially if you're living abroad like I am. If she decides to spend a lot of money on herself...she also has to spend a good chunk on her girls and with your brother helping out so much...just be nice to her.
Also, if you really want to coordinate outfits then help out. Find a good deal with a designer who will do the entire family's outfits for a good price. She is Indian it seems...help her find a good Pakistani designer that can get her a decent outfit with a decent price tag.
she is not indian.. she is from pakistani but born and bred in the uk. her sister married a muslim convert (who was sikh) so all her clothes come from near chandigarh in india..
we are lucky in the UK we can order v.nice clothes quite easily. she has no excuse... she has lots of money really. they both drive mercedes, live in a nice area and mashallah both earn good money. she just likes to distance herself from us. spoke to my mum about how i felt and mum said that she feels jealous that my brother is so concerned about the wedding. she hates him having anything to do with us.
she forced him to move out of our home.. when i get married my elderly parents will be left alone and my poor dad still works as otherwise the house expenses would be too much. she has always been selfish and uncaring when it comes to our family.
well why dont you speak to your brother, tell him you want the girls i.e your babhi's wearing the same colour or co-ordinated coloured outfits and see what he says. or get the money off your bro buy her the suit and your nieces and tell her she has to wear it :@:
hhmmm.. i have a very good relationship with my neices, they adore me and i adore them.. so she could see my excitement about their clothes and didn't like it... as someone suggested i'll order them anyway and pay for them myself.. i'm sure my bro will not stop them wearing it...
yeah i suggest just buying the outfits and giving them to her a day or so before the wedding. i'm sure if theyre nicer than the ones they already have the little girls will raise hell :) some people are just...a bit inconsiderate. Its obvious that shes doesnt get on with you guys, so maybe shes trying to show you up? but yeah buy the outfits and give them to your brother actually, i'm sure he'll make sure theyre worn!
u r being a cow. why is it a blow to you if someone doesnt want to discuss with you their finances and clothes? why this view that she would never lie to you? arent you overestimating your relationship?
^ no because some of us girls are crazy about weddings, jewelry and clothes and would enjoy it if our loved ones joined in on the festivities. Specially when a girl is getting married, she notices a lot more of the way people are acting during that time. Her bhahi should be excited about this time. My husbands sister isn't even getting married yet and I look at clothes that I might wanna wear on all the occasions cuz I think she will get married in a yr or two! So I always look at clothes for her and myself.
