Re: Am I being oversenstive?
I do understand the idea you have in your mind though Dulhan...you want everyone to be looking a certain way...they're your immediate family and people should be able to tell them apart. Aside from that, they should be eager to take part in your festivities!
But consider this...its the last wedding of your family for a long time. Do you really want to remember anything bitter about it? My guess is you dont. If your Bhabi wants to distance herself...be the bigger person and bring everyone together! How about all of your family women do the same updo? Or wear flowers in your hair? or the same colored dupattas? Or chooriyan? Something! But incorporate her in this event of yours!!! Take the first step again even if she is being a brat...you will be so happy you did if she actually responds well and your relationship develops into freindship!
As for her clothes...there are a few possibilities: Some people - again - dont really care much about fashion and trends. Some people arent into desi clothes or dressing up. Some people dont have fashion sense - this could be the case with your bhabi - which is why she insists on being the triplet.
She may not be very social or know how to cultivate relationships around her. She may be the one to blame for the past but that is no reason for your relationship to stay this way in the future. You're getting married woman! Out with the old and in with the new!
Go upto her and tell her you want her advice on something...centerpieces, color schemes, hair, jewelry, take her with you for your make up trial, shoes, ANYTHING! Just do it!