Am I being cynical?

[Sara516]

Re: Am I being cynical?

@TheNewWannaBe

Ira - Not just one reason.

1. I have seen many married men having relationships… only for sex. My idea is that men will be men and it is closed to impossible for them not to have a relationship outside their marriage. This is something I just cannot accept my man doing. You know, men are… LOL I can remember PCG now.

2. Men are demanding and they change. Who you meet before marriage changes into a monster. You know you can never know what kind of a monster is hidden inside an educated, decent looking man. (that’s why I said maybe Im being cynical cz Im expecting the worse)

3. I am just scared. I visualise marriage to be a sacred relationship. I have a bad temper and do not think twice when angry. Ofcourse, there are troubles in every relationship. So ofcourse I expect to face troubles but I know I would be poor in handling those problems. So, what would be the outcome? Seperation? This is not what I imagine this sacred contract to be. My idea of it is very pure and it should not fail.

4. My freedom. I think I would lose my freedom. You know, this happens. I can do anything I want, go anywhere I want, wear anything I want without anyone questioning me. But would it stay the same? I doubt it and cannot accept that.

This same thing my sister mentioned to my mom two days ago, “She has habits which someone living in Pakistan would find hard to accept. She’s not used to answering questions” My mom said, “We would get her an open minded guy who would not question. There are many who would give anything to marry her” I said, “And after he has accomplished his ‘mission’, he would be that same little monster I fear after the mask is gone.” My mom had no answer then she said, “We would find you someone living in the west who understands and accepts these things are normal.” I said, “Yeah sure, in that case, I may have objections to things which he thinks are ‘normal’ but I may not find them normal.” Then again she had no answer. Then she started that age bull. That’s when things got heated up.

But most of all, Ira, Im scared of being cheated on. It’s hard to accept a man would not cheat in his life time.

MQ - thank you

Actually, all these years, this is what I had been telling them… “it would happen when the time is right”. I always told them I would tell them whenever I feel I am ready but, honestly by now, I feel that I would never be ready. I feel I cannot live with someone else. I think I’ve got too used to living a lonely and selfish life. I am not answerable to anyone right now. I have no commitments. I have to make no sacrifices. And I’ve got too much used to it. I think adapting would be difficult. You know, sleeping alone, no physical demands, etc. etc. etc. you know… but thanks for your words

Oh man i’m scared of getting married now