Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
don’t compare ppl on GS with real world.. its very scary thing to do 
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
astagfurlah
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
Ansoon - think about this, GS is the real world without the filters of manners and the outer shell. What is here is just plainly what people think and believe.
Makes you think, maybe the lil ol Aunty sitting next to you on the bus, clutching her groceries and glaring at the guy eyeing the girl standing next to her, that MAY be Lazy_Daisy.....
hmph, last on the list
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
I dunno bout that… I haven’t found the one for me but I know I want to get married soon, not necessarily to the first guy that proposes but the one I care about and get excited thinking about and 
ing when talking about him. damn i’m corny.
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
ur still young sara. Trust me... just enjoy life
i have a friend whose very similar to you.. shes 4 years younger than me and im always telling her the same thing. To relax and not worry about marriage just yet. Inshallah it'll all fall into place some day...
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
It takes a lot more than just finding the right someone. Given that we all have flaws and weaknesses, it makes the matter a lot more difficult.
It requires a lot of patience, tolerating differences, understanding and a whole bunch of others things.
I’m not going against the idea of getting married, just that I feel staying single may not be all that bad to an extent. 
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
^ but the right person... even with their flaws is right and perfect for you.. no?
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
you know its a real world we live in and its made for real people.
Try to be honest with yourself, brave the world and harness those inhibitions. take it from me...its a very centering experience.
The most rewarding experiences in life are the ones that are acheived through struggle and tests of patience.
So what if he learns your insecurities? so what if you have character flaws?
so what if sometimes you wont be in the mood to talk to him?
so what if sometimes it will all be too much?
Why is it that the world is busy creating love songs and movies that create this sense of heightened emotion, this magical feeling of being in love? Its because these people HAVE FELT these emotions and want to share them with the world.
All isnt lost you know. There are still some genuine people left in the world, and never let yourself think that you are going to end up with someone that does not fit into your world , or your picture of life of how you want things to be. Cos that person WILL come along.
Its only natural to be scared.
Lets face it....this is why such thoughts are coming to your mind.
like one man said, humse nazray millao anjaan na ho jao :)
all the best
ciao
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
bachelorette life is good but I would say married life is many times better providing you end up with the right person :)
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
sadzzz, no one is perfect and it takes a lot to be tolerant. Perhaps that is what marriage is all about, ie. sacrifices and tolerance. However, I'm only talking about the freedom here that one gets to experience and enjoy while he/she is single. Really no serious responsibilities, burdens, and headaches. Well there are, but not as difficult requiring extra high level of tolerance.
For instance, right now all I require is my parents' permission or interrogation, which isn't bad because no matter what I do, they would still love me at the end of the day (insha'Allah). Whereas, with marriage, you gotta take permission from hubby and be answerable to him, then in-laws get involved (often in desi marriages) and that also changes a lot of things.
Furthermore, when you make so many sacrifices and try to be all patient and nice, you have your husband (somehow by default) oggling/staring at other women (which is supposedly normal), or worse sometimes developing serious interest in another woman (or women).
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
^ I dunno Sadiyah.. i dont see marriage as a burden at all. Although, Ive still got another 6 months to go till Im actually living with him, this business of having someone around is not that bad at all..
trust me, at the end of the day, ur hubby will love you just as much as you think ur parents love you.. maybe even more (they're 2 completely different kinds of love). And no, he wont be oggling at another girl.. not all men are like that. We should give them some credit..
Everything requires work and commitment. Marriage isnt as big of a headache as people make it out to be. It's as difficult as we want it to be and as awesome as we perceive it.. And you know what, its really nice to know someone cares for you that much. That someone is worried about you and is thinking about you 24/7 (well at least when they're awake).
Ur not answerable to him either. You are your own person and he is his.. but together you are a better team. Im sure if hes an understanding lad, he'll give you your space and be there for you when you need him :)
and also, its not always the girl making the sacrifice. Guys do a lot for the relationship too.. its just we overlook all that.. lets give em some credit
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
However, I'm only talking about the freedom here that one gets to experience and enjoy while he/she is single. Really no serious responsibilities, burdens, and headaches. Well there are, but not as difficult requiring extra high level of tolerance.
Damn, I wish I had your bachelorette life. Mine is filled with resp's, burdens, and migraines. And they require such a high level of tolerance - tolerance that I don't even have.
I don't see how marriage can make things better or worse. You'll still have the same problems. Its just that either your hubby will help you deal with them, or he'll make things worse by making life at home a pain.
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
Don’t tell her to wait till she is old…like you..
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
^ :halo:
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
sadzzz, I still feel it is still a lot better when living with your biological parents. I can't really point out what exactly it is that bothers me, other than the fact that it really hurts me to see men oggling at other women or entertaining any ill-thoughts about them. There are a few other things that aren't really coming to mind at the moment that also bother me in addition to all the oggling and other related behaviour.
PCG, my life is filled with responsibilities, burdens and what not, but I still feel it's not even half as bad or tough as it could be after marriage. I've had lots of problems with parents. We've had heated discussions and I've said a lot of rude things and have lost temper when I shouldn't have. They still love me the same as they have in the past.
It's not as if I'm vowing never to get married or anything of that sort, but I'm beginning to appreciate living with parents, alhamdulillah.
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
Sadiyah, do u think all men oggle at other women after being married? not all of them are like that and lets pray you or anyone for that matter doesnt end up with someone like that..
Personally, i dont see how bad married life could be. If its about extra responsibility, as in taking care of the house, cooking and so forth, well i guess thats part of growing up.. no? Its change.. and we should welcome that change. For me, its nothing different.. ive been doing that ever since i was young (not for the past 2-3 years though) so no big deal really.
Yes, living with your parents is a completely different scenario.. we take them for granted and the time we have with them.. but we shouldnt let that stop us from marriage..
its part of growing up and maturing...
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
sadzzz, a few years ago when I first sort of started practicing Islam I had this view that most men are good, especially those who are practicing. I shared this view with a very good guy friend who in turn told me more or less:
'Sads, all guys are the same. They will all look at women, entertain similar thoughts about them and everything else. The most non-religious would do it, the moderate would do it, and the most religious would also do it.'
At that time, I didn't pay heed to what he said, as I thought he's just exaggerating. However, now from experience I can't help but agree with him for the most part. Those who are good and try to keep their gaze lowered are in minority, which is really sad.
It would be sad to make a marriage work out, as it requires a lot of patience and dedication only to find out that your husband is a crook oggling/staring at other women. I think maturing is needed for both men and women. I don't know what men would want women to mature about, but I certainly think men need to mature in the sense that they should avoid looking at other women inappropriately and entertaining any ill-thoughts altogether. I would be very happy with that.
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
I really dont know what to say Sadiyah... i guess you've just gotta let go of that fear.
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
Point 1: Living with a husband is better than living with parents. With husband, you get sex. :k: Halaal sex, too. :k: :k:
Point 2: Men will look at other women - 'tis true. Perhaps there are like a grand total of 5 in the world who have eyes only for their wives. But your friend is right, IMHO. But you already said it yourself. Both men and women need to grow up to be in a marriage. Why not just accept that he’s going to look at other ladies? The thing to worry about is whether or not he keeps his dick in his pants (well, outside your home).
Re: All of a sudden life as a bachelorette sounds enticing
I’m not married but I might be included in those 5 men. Who are the other four? I just like to stare at those who are in burqa . They tantalize me…
Dang!