Share your airport/plane stories 
One I can think of right now is when I was going to Pakistan. There was this little kid crying like there is no tomorrow & there was loads of turbulence too because of bad weather. All of a sudden the plane just dropped a bit, everyone got soooo sacred & that kid who was crying like anything started laughing as it was some kind of a ride lol.
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lol 
that kid reminds me of someone I knowā¦
mere paas to muhallay me raat ko uRne wale jahaazon ki stories hein
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My best one when I was going to Pakistan through NewYork by PIA. Iy was about 16-17 years ago. JFK, at the gate, just before you would enter the plane, there was a scanner for your luggage. One uncle in front of me put a big duty free shopping bag and went to the other side. There was so much of luggage behind his bag that once his bag reached the end to the other side, the bags behind it pushed it over the edge and his bag fell two feet down on the hard floor.
It had 2-3 bottles of whiskey in it. They all crashed down on the floor and there was sharab everywhere. Everyone gasped literally I mean who would expect a Pakistani traveling with sharaab in his luggage. Best part is that uncle not only did not react but refused to acknowledge that it was even his bag. He just walked into the plane without blinking. Lol. People were laughing like crazy.
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^^ Can relate to some Jahaaz stories who roam around at night lol
Airport stories are about bribes and fraud.
My personal one was that a old man with white beard and in roza .. he started checking thhe things i was bringing to uk. he didnt bother about roza i guess. there was no heroin etc ..he goes hes doing routine ..
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I fly once or twice a month. The latest flight was pretty interesting. Apparently, the pilot was landing on a site that wasnāt the airport. The plane came very close to the ground and then sped up and took off again. That got everyone talking on the plane. The pilot made the announcement that the runway wasnāt visible enough to land. 
the flight itself was pretty turbulent but I had experienced worse so I didnāt think much of it.
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My mom, sister, and I were seated in those four seats in the middle of the plane. The one next to me had been unoccupied for a long time and it was nice to have that extra leg-room. Only I took too long to make use of it and woke up to find Mirpuri Uncle sitting next to me. 
Breakfast was then served and Mirpuri Uncle would empty his plates/bowls and put them on my folding tray. Suddenly I couldnāt find my purse and realized with dismay that Mirpuri Uncle had monopolized that as well. I informed him he was sitting on my purse. Did he apologize? No. Did he say āaikscooz meāā¦? No. Was he quick to act? No. Instead he asked, āChahiye?ā 
Nah, Mirpuri Uncle, I love that my purse is being warmed by your rear end. Of course, I want it!!!ā 
He made the effort to move so I could retrieve my purse. Then he offered a rather late explanation that the reason he plopped himself down next to me was so that he could be closer to his nephew and talk to him. And that, ladies and gentleman, was his 4th offenseā¦cuz the nephew was hotā¦and he was blocking my view! 
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When i went to dammam ,my sista is with me or sirf one and half hour ki flight thi or plane 4 lines ka tha batana nahi araha chota wala tha 
or hum loogun ney sab electonic thing off ker di theen or phir announcement huyi ke sab cheezein off hi rakhein or plane hill bhi bohut raha tha ā¦ humein time dekhna tha kya hua my sista said to me kya time hua hai mae ney kaha mujhe tu nahi pata ā¦humri seat ke dosri line mae pichey ek uncle aunty bethey huye they tu mae ney sista se kaha pichey uncle ko dehk ker batao un ke mou pey kitney baj rahey hain us ney dekha or kaha 12 
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My airport stories are sad and pretty predictable - they begin and end with me almost or actually missing my flight 
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Back in 2007, we were about to land in Bahrain, I had the window seat. The plane had some serious problems, 10 seconds and it flips on the right side after a good 20 second it was more on the left. I wanted to check it through the window and the planeās wing was wet. Didnāt get it but when it again flipped on the right side, we were just above water, I started screaming that weāre crashing. Kids started screaming too, a dude started vomiting. We were asked to shut our windows, 2 minutes gone and we had safely landed. Now I donāt take window seats.
Second stupid story was in Lahore airport. It was the first time I was travelling alone with my bro and sis. I didnāt know what to do. A mota uncle took our luggage and said heāll do the boarding stuff. We said nope weāll do it. Anyways, he was there standing. Once we got our boarding pass, me being the silliest person on earth went to thank him that he was there until we got our passes. He asked me paise kitne hai aap ke paas, I told him all the Eidi I had and the euros too (7 to be correct) [thankfully my mom gave the money to my bro or else I would have told him that too ]
He created a huge scene, āMujhe bhi Eidi chahiye, aur main bhi to aapke liye kharra tha, aap ka kaam karwaya, yeh yahan ka tax haiā. HELLO ?? We did it !! After a huge dramaybaazi from his side I gave him 5ā¬and told him I have a 2ā¬coin but itās no use here. He snatched it from my hands. My bro was furious, sis too but I was shocked and got scared of him tbh.
Then when you arrive in Lahore, you have all these coolie whoāll do the same thing. But two coolies started slapping each other, all I remember was ātu to sarkari coolie hai, zardari se tankhwa leta hai, yeh mere loog hainā And the tera-mera part started. āMaine pehle dekha, maine pehle bag uthayeā One had the trolley and the other one had one of our bag. INSANE !!
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O I forgot the crazy one. This was a long time ago. I must have been 21-22 then. I was flying to Lahore alone and this pakistani guy on the plane wouldnāt leave me alone. He was NOT a fob either. He kept wanting to sit by me. It was so uncomfortable that at one point I was scared. He would not stop looking at me and kept leaning over trying to strike up a conversation from across the aisle. I got off the plane so fast when it eventually landed, bechara dhoondta rehgaya hoga.
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i donāt know what is more embarrassing a Paki guy spilling alcohol or a vibrator come rolling out a purse and no one to claim it.
Was going to Pakistan as a 11-12 yr old kid. There was a little like toddler sittig in the seat next to me with her mom. I love/loved kids so i was playing with her cos she was messing around with meā¦so then randomly she starts calling me āchavvalā - not rice, but the insult. Her mother kept trying to make her stop but she wouldnāt and so for 16 hrs i had this little 2 yr old kid screaming āchavvalā at me and laughing.
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Errmm, share it in detail or it did not happen.
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OK this was just a tad bit adult in nature but hey, I was not married then.
Three of us roommates (all males) were flying to Pakistan through PIA. We all were sitting at the window side row, the one with three seats. One of us was carrying an erotica novel, really cheap kind, the one with bazaari language. Of course we were all reading the passages and giggling like teen agers. Anyhoo, during the long flight, we all decided to take a walk, and put the novel at the pouch behind the front row. I came back towards our seats first and saw a quite good looking aunty sitting in our seats. While I came closer, she got up and left. I came back and sat, and first thing I did was to look for that book. It was not there. I almost had a heart attack. Aunty was looking at me when I was approaching the seat, and I was so sure that she stole it. Dont know why, but of course she knew that we were reading it. Aunty was also good looking so a guy in his 20ās was thinking all kind of weird and optimistic thoughts. And then I saw that aunty coming back to me, looking at me. I was extremely nervous, till she came to me and said. Excuse me, aap meri seat pe bethay hain :(. Our seats were behind hers, and of course the novel was still in its rightful place, in the pocket of our row.
100% true story.
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Didnāt happen to me but it did happen to someone. I saw it on YouTube. A lone vibrator turned on going around on the baggage claim rail. It was hilarious.
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LMAO!
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Lol porn has come a long way.
Iām trying to remember a particularly interesting story but I still recall on a layover to Pakistan, people rushing to line up and jockeying for position after the announcement to board. Chalo chalo ālaiinā lagaoā¦Iām sitting there thinking, ādo people realize that the seats are already assigned?ā.
Of course on my most recent flight to Pakistan my seat got jacked by an aunty who wanted to sit next to her sister so maybe thereās something to laiin lagao-ing.
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some uncle decided to shower in the middle of the flight on PIA from NY to KHI. he ended up flooding the entire bathroom and the water was leaking outside. disgusting. the worst flight ever. that was my last flight on PIA.
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^ 
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i remember an uncle in shorts at lhr airport, jharring his English on th poor staff