I had this conversation with my mother today and she disagreed and said that friends of the opposite gender will never be as close as friends of the same gender, and should, especially if you are married, be kept at arm’s length as acquaintances.
I disagreed as I have male friends at university and I am just as close to them as my female friends and there has never been any sort of attraction or possibility of anything more than friendship between us. I thought that the difference between my own views and those of my mother represented a generational gap, a cultural gap, her having been raised in pakistan in 70/80s, and myself in 21st century Britain.
Then I came across this video and I was intrigued as to whether my mother’s views or my own were most popular:
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
friends share secrets and "dil kii baateN" which may be very personal in nature and even intimate. the question is...are you comfortable to share with a male friend?
tbh, if one cares for his/her religion, this type of friendship is against the it's teachings, especially the teachings of Islam.
TL;DR: Men are constantly trying to give up the D, women aren’t always accepting. If you think your potential husband would be okay with you being close fraaandship with someone like that, good luck.
p.s. there are books, with academic backing, written on the subject of having boundaries with friends of the opposite sex if you want to have a healthy marriage. Failure to do so is just opening yourself up to *potential *trouble. Not guaranteed, potential.
p.p.s. You vant fraaandship Laadli? Im vry rohmntic nd neid womn frnds to help wi breakups.
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
I think they can be friends but obviously it cannot be exactly the same as your friendship with girls.
A positive thing about having guys as friends is sharing a secret. With a guy its less risky than sharing it with your girl friend, not because they are more reliable or anything, they just don't remember too much detail to share it with others. :)
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
You can be friends with the opposite gender. But there are always boundaries. With men and women. What people fail to address is that boundaries when respected lead to a healthy relationship. I have plenty of close female friends, but the moment I or they were in a relationship we back off and spend more time with our spouses and communicate less with the opposite gender.
Most of my friends are in long term committed relationships. Are we still friends? Yup. But have the dynamics and relationships changed? Yup. You can't expect to maintain closeness with your female friends or male friends when you are in a committed relationship.
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
most of my friends are females and they are close to me as my male friends, i go out with them to restaurants cinemas etc..
have conversations about everything and anything never has there been any attractions or anything to do with more than friends
i think its just Pakistani mentality, and culture that believes male and females cant be just friends
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
Nope. Or it depends on you. I have this older brother cousin and I was like YAY! I have an older brother and it was good like he used to give me advice about stuff in the family and the people to watch out for because we're like cautious people. Then, this aunty started commenting that hmm, you guys like each other. I was like NO! EW! And, Bhai was NO. But, everyone listened to that nosy aunty and then my parents were like say BYE! And, I said bye and it was over and it was swept under the rug. But, the point is that a male and a female can never be friends. Or, it's my opinion. What did I just write?
Re: AGE OLD QUESTION: Can guys and girls be friends?
Its NOT a Pakistani problem lol...that's so lame to always blame it all on the Pakistanis. Its something people have been asking for centuries...and I believe men and women cannot just be friends or even best friends.
