You know a lot of deadbeat desi guys. Most aren’t like that. Trust me, desirable desi guys, who have their sh*t together by their mid 20’s have no problem getting hitched.
The “market” in this case is based on what people find attractive. It’s not hardwired or rigged. It’s the collective desires of men and women working to reach an equilibrium. Men are hard wired biologically to find physical looks more appealing, just like women are hard wired to place more emphasis on comfort and security. Take it up with God. Or mother nature. Or the feminists who told you that your career would result in more rishtas, but stop blaming men. They’re looking out for themselves, as everyone does. If anyone wants more attention from the opposite sex the solution is simple: work on yourself first.
If the 40 year old woman was really that amazing, then she had plenty of chances to settle down at an earlier age. She likely chose not to. That’s her fault. The dating pool is smaller at 40 for everyone. Most of us agree that 40 year old guys marrying 20 year old girls are not the norm. 40 year old guys to 30 year old women however, is much more likely. Women don’t have this luxury, but I bet that woman had plenty of suitors when she was 25.