agree with :k:
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*Originally posted by Madhanee: *
People come up with all kind of excuses and nonsense to marry young chicks. A 20 year old girl doesn’t know her ass from her elbow.
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Your arrogance reminds me again and again how openionated the older american generation is ....for Pakistani people in general and for women specifically..... OR may be ... you are just a big old fart.
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*Originally posted by hiccup: *
I can hold a conversation with people older than me, hell I can even talk most dumb asses in that age group down, however the point is would you be able to spend the rest of your life with someone who has been brought in in a whole different decade to yourself
ie when you were eight and dreaming of dolls, he was 16 and dreaming of "dolls". You grew up with Backstreet boys and he with Nirvana.
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And that was like.... fifteen years ago??? Peole grow up... and become mature...and communicate at a level not bound by age in numbers but by maturity of thought and practice.
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It seems a little miss matched to me, would you see him as an equal (a pre-requisit for marital bliss) or would you look up to him and treat him more like a father figure?
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Well... you might know a few guys who are mature around your age... but most aren't. Like madhani would have preferred to put it..... guys that age don't know their elbows from their asses.
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Now, you can do whatever works for you but the question arises as to why the guy couldn't find anyone his own age.
Is he too immature to spend the rest of his life with an equal?
By the time you aer 20 he will be 28. and when you are 22 he'll be 30...
thats a big fat number. And when you'll be 25 and in your prime, he'll be edging towards middle-age.....{/QUOTE]
And what is wrong with that, exactly?
I don't know what world you live in... or what culture you are referring to... but I have seen SO MANY couples with an eight to ten years difference who are perfectly frank and friendly ... happy with each other and are generally on the same wave length.
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I am not saying that huge age gaps don't work
(hey my parents have an age gap of 20 odd yrs) I am just wondering wheither it'd be the ideal partnership. Would you be able to immediately "click"? On an emotional and phychological level? His life experiance will be greater than yours, do you want someone you can learn with or from?
Good luck with your future and I'm sure you'll be happy togeather, but personally its not the way to go.
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Oh please hiccup...!!
How many happy couple have you seen ten years down the road who"imediately clicked" ...eeeeemotionally and psychologically? May be it is the difference in perception of a relationship. I would not only like to marry someone who can challenege me intellectually.. but whom i can teach a thing or two myself. I would hate to marry a volatile young lad who just jumped into the real world and having a family is the last thing on his mind.
:o man u peepls sweating for nutting :o
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*Originally posted by super_ego: *
Your arrogance reminds me again and again how openionated the older american generation is ....for Pakistani people in general and for women specifically..... OR may be ... you are just a big old fart.
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No, for Madhanee it's not really a true representation of women's point of view and he insists that women think like that because somehow they are forced into thinking like it by the grand conspiratorial schema concocted by men. He takes sides of women even women not wanting him to take their sides. Similiarly, he wants men not to marry 7-10 years younger women and insistes on marrying women of their age even if that's something men don't desire to do. He also doesn't realize that even the women participating in this thread don't desire for men of their age or a year or two older but rather at least 5-7 years older.
hmmm i think the reason why most women are drawn towards older men is cus they see these men stable and secure..
men their own age (im talking from my age range and younger) arent sure of what they want, they're prob just finishing off their degrees or starting.. are jobless (or maybe working at 7/11)... even though women may be attracted to these men of their own age... they dont provide any security.. and therefore younger woman look towards older men (5+ years)
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*Originally posted by Madhanee: *
Fradz gives example of his male friend, late 30s, finish his medical degree and stuff….now wants to settle down, and is looking for 20something. Replace Male with Female late 30s, finish medical degree and looking to settle down? Who do you think she is going to end up marrying?
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dude you are in economics and know supply and demand..
fact remains that there are far more eligible bachelors in their 30's then their are eligible bachelorettes.
Just being single does not make one eligible..
The converse is true sometimes too.. 
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*Originally posted by Madhanee: *
You see, you don’t understand. Who do you think is responsible for creating this imperfectly competitive market for brides, where 20 year old are pushing the 30something out of the market? Men, is the answer. If all men looked to marry women their own age, everyone will be happy. The way, I see your argument is that, and let me do a little table:
Men Women
(Age in years)
20 20
25 20
30 20
35 20
40 20
50 24
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Yeah... It isn't very amusing but it isn't the exact situation either.
You gotta admit... you have a pretty rotten view of this matter. Listen, there are a lot of girls in their late twenties who get married to nice men... and are happy.
It is a pitty that women who keep postponing marriage for career back home in Pak, don't get to have a lot of choice left in bachelors, really.
If you look at teh lower socioeconomic strata , you will find that girls are forced to be married earlier in their life because it is simply unacceptable that the stay unmarried till their mid twenties, let alone thirties.
The middle class is different. And it is the major proportion of the population. Girls study..., work, and make choices. For all the reasons repeatedly described above, they go for men some years older, rather than their own age group.
The elites or at least some of them in the elitist cities don't generally mix up with these other two classes. They are becoming more liberal.... parents don't mind their daughters dating eligible men and getting married as they please.
Now..... The point of this boring speech was ...that it is neither young women nor men, that get to make a free choice in Pakistani sciety. It is the stigma created over time by the society in general that looks at an older woman with a lot of scrutiny. Men, left to make free choices, specially learned men might prefer any girl who has some appeal ,sexual or intellectual no matter what age she is.... but he has to meet a lot of resistance from teh family if his choice collided with social norms.
So you can't blame either teh men or teh women for that.... family and society is a lot bigger back home than it is in USA.
I think age difference really counts in a successful relationship between husband and wife. It shouldn't be more then 3 to 4 years.
i have come to the conclusion that women want less difference b/w the spouses and men usually want a LOT of difference, regardless of there own age. how many times have you heard a 55 year old woman marring a 21 year old man ,but older men always go for the kachi kali
( dare to disagree??????????????????)
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*Originally posted by CHUSKA: *
i have come to the conclusion that women want less difference b/w the spouses and men usually want a LOT of difference, regardless of there own age. how many times have you heard a 55 year old woman marring a 21 year old man ,but older men always go for the kachi kali
( dare to disagree??????????????????)
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I would love a kachi kalee...:D Do you have any in mind?
I have seen success and failures of marriages with almost all the age differences from 0 (or even negative) to 13 years and that drives me to the opinion that ages difference has very little part to play in success or failure of a marriage.
Age difference just sets the tone/environment of your relationship/home and not more than that. It’s the mind and heart that has a role to play in success or failure of a relation.
BuMp :whistling
and did anyone notice that almost all the girls who participated in this thread think that an older hubby is a better choice while the guys were fighting on the age.
^ Exactly my thoughts.