whats cosidered gross when it comes to marrying younger or older?! i think more then 10 yrs is gross a bit!
also, do people think that men should be always older then the women they marry. is it okay if instead of the guy as is normally th case, is it okay if the woman is 30yrs old and the guy 25, instead of the other way around as is usually the case?
Is our society ready for something like that.
Re: Age difference in marriage
Gora society is just starting to catch onto how older women are hooking up with younger guys, u really think desis r ready to accept a woman marrying a man 2-3 yrs younger than her??
Re: Age difference in marriage
I have a friend who married a girl 15.50 years old while he is 32. Whats wrong with it. Another one is 38 and married a 25 year old. A third at age 37 is getting married to a 22 year old.....
Look at the facts. We should all adopt this trend. Right !!!!
An age difference of 15 year plus is absolutely fine in this age and time.
Re: Age difference in marriage
^Sure, until the guy dies and leaves a widow who's in her 50's or younger. And if one of the basis of a successful marriage is mutual compatibility, how much can you have in common with a girl who has just finished high school when you are well settled in your ways? Is it fair to the girl? And would you as a 30 year old man be happy to marry a 45 year old woman?
Re: Age difference in marriage
also, do people think that men should be always older then the women they marry. is it okay if instead of the guy as is normally th case, is it okay if the woman is 30yrs old and the guy 25, instead of the other way around as is usually the case?
Is our society ready for something like that.
You are right 10 or more years difference is not a choice in these days.
Re: Age difference in marriage
ohh, this is like you wrote about what we were talking about yesterday!!! ammi phoned this family friend whose mammoo lives in US..has been there since more than 20 years...working two jobs, one in a bank and drives cab as well...has gone PK last month or so to get married and was lucky to find a 23 year old chick when he is 48 years old himself...CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE THIS???????????????????????????????????????
48 years old banda marrying 23 years old girl??????????/
this is INSANee!!!!!! forget about what the larka( well he isn't larka nemore in any possible way) wants, jus' think about what larki's damned parents must have been thinking when they agreed to this shadi!!!!! we were all like OH MY and stared at each other with mouths agape when heard this deed of insanity! are larki's parents blind? crazy? or freakin' jerk and greedy, may be? whatever the reason is, but it's like you are avenging your own daughter by doing this?...it's like a difference of a generation?...both of them belongs to two different generations, don't they?...
no, i don't always agree to a marriage between two people who are the same or very close to each other, unless it's their own decision to get married( after all it's their own life and this is the most important decision of nebody's life. if those two are happy, nobody chouls be bothered to worry or fret over this ).. even my mom is 10 years younger younger than my dad and they have a great couple MASHALLAH..one of my friend got married to a guy who was 9 years older than she was and what a beautiful couple they make MASHALLAH!...but 10 years should be he maximum, no?...having 25 years of age difference is completely crazy, insane, stupid!...this would be so hard for both of them to adjust with each other, no?...
and if it wasn't enough, the so-called " 48 years old GUY" is a typical pakistani maulvi too...so much crazy so that he would refuse to drive the car and just stop the car if he has ne larki in his car and some other guy , even arbitrarily, lo0ks towards the car...and the larki studied in UK...
all in all, it's an excellent example of the most horrible and mismatched typical pakistani "ARRANGED" marriage!
Re: Age difference in marriage
L a h o r e,
how can u even say that?
hopefully, you will marry someone about your age (give or take a year).
otherwise ur kids will call u grand-dad, and ur grand kids will call u great-grand-dad,
& many OLDER men, miss THE FACT, that shooting of their souls’ stars can take place at an early age than their young spouses.
esp. at this day and age, marrying someone equally old or equally young, is the way to go.
otherwise, men lose. 
hmm?
what if, the women and girls BEGAN taking into marital contracs, boys and men more than half their ages - the whole human population will go awry. eitherway men lose.
dushi
Re: Age difference in marriage
this is cruel.
48 years old banda marrying 23 years old girl??????????/
this is INSANee!!!!!! forget about what the larka( well he isn't larka nemore in any possible way) wants, jus' think about what larki's damned parents must have been thinking when they agreed to this shadi!!!!! we were all like OH MY and stared at each other with mouths agape when heard this deed of insanity! are larki's parents blind? crazy? or freakin' jerk and greedy, may be? whatever the reason is, but it's like you are avenging your own daughter by doing this?...it's like a difference of a generation?...both of them belongs to two different generations, don't they?...
no, i don't always agree to a marriage between two people who are the same or very close to each other, unless it's their own decision to get married( after all it's their own life and this is the most important decision of nebody's life. if those two are happy, nobody chouls be bothered to worry or fret over this ).. even my mom is 10 years younger younger than my dad and they have a great couple MASHALLAH..one of my friend got married to a guy who was 9 years older than she was and what a beautiful couple they make MASHALLAH!...but 10 years should be he maximum, no?...having 25 years of age difference is completely crazy, insane, stupid!...this would be so hard for both of them to adjust with each other, no?...
and if it wasn't enough, the so-called " 48 years old GUY" is a typical pakistani maulvi too...so much crazy so that he would refuse to drive the car and just stop the car if he has ne larki in his car and some other guy , even arbitrarily, lo0ks towards the car...and the larki studied in UK...
all in all, it's an excellent example of the most horrible and mismatched typical pakistani "ARRANGED" marriage!
Re: Age difference in marriage
Guys considering marrying gals a lot younger than themselves should also consider the possibility of having to deal with affairs.
The girl may agree due to various sources of pressure, in an arranged marriage scenario, but eventually something is gonna give.........and it won't be you.
Re: Age difference in marriage
The Prophet (PBUH) was married to Hazrat Khadijah (RA), who was 15yrs his senior!
Re: Age difference in marriage
The girl may agree due to various sources of pressure, in an arranged marriage scenario, but eventually something is gonna give.........and it won't be you.
lol not all girls r sex hungry western minded creatures:) :o ....
Re: Age difference in marriage
What about the concept of having 4 wives in Islam? In 99% of those cases the wives keep on getting younger and younger. What about the issue of age difference there???
Re: Age difference in marriage
absolutely right.
and not all men are cradle-robbing, child molestors either.
just depends on how you look at it, doesn’t it?
let me add one more thing…
the fact that you would instantly refer to sexuality when I mention “affair” says something about your mindset.
when two with such a vast age difference get married, the missing link is not physical, it’s mental. I know of some very attractive 45 year olds that would put a 25 year old to shame when it comes to prowess. It’s the meeting of minds that does not occur when a 45 year old marries a 25 year old.
an affair of the heart is one thing…but an affair of the minds is another. one is much easier to get over than the other.
Re: Age difference in marriage
All im gonna say to this is that my hubby is 13 yrs older than me and it works great for us and i wouldnt have it any other way.
Re: Age difference in marriage
One of my first email friend from America stunned me one day when he told me that he was 30 years old and was in love with a lady in his office who was 52.
I know a married muslim woman of 40 years from my small town who one day ran away with a 25 year old muslim guy and eventually married him. Both returned the town after two years and the muslim society accepted the marriage. Today they are living a happy life.
Re: Age difference in marriage
let me add one more thing.... the fact that you would instantly refer to sexuality when I mention "affair" says something about your mindset. when two with such a vast age difference get married, the missing link is not physical, it's mental. I know of some very attractive 45 year olds that would put a 25 year old to shame when it comes to prowess. It's the meeting of minds that does not occur when a 45 year old marries a 25 year old.
an affair of the heart is one thing....but an affair of the minds is another. one is much easier to get over than the other.
When u r in love an affair of the heart always dominates the affair of the mind. What should be done with the age difference under this scenario?
Re: Age difference in marriage
so marrying a younger girl makes u child molestor??:halo:i know couples who have unuseal age differences but all of them r happy…lol girls want mature guy who can take care of them ..they aint looking for some1 to babysit …anyway there is a huge difference in thoughts of brain infected girls in west and pakistani girls back home.:o ..
Re: Age difference in marriage
While the debate can continue on which affair dominates, my point is that the missing link will drive the younger woman to look elsewhere for stimulation and/or commonalities.
Re: Age difference in marriage
if you think maturity comes with age, then, well, you are yet to be mature ! it’s not about babysitting your spouse, it’s about the vast difference in the way of thinking, in their view-points, in their approach towards life…and also, the way they lo0k?..you are so contemptuous about the “BRAIN INFECTED GIRLS IN WEST”, well, find me one girl in pakistan who would “LOVE” to marry a man who had been classfellow of her dada/nana just because " SHE WANTS MATURE GUY WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF HER"…
i feel such sympathy for people who have mentality like you do who just find another excuse to marry a young girl when they are buddhe themselves..like pakistani politician Khar whose last marriage was with a 14 year old village girl when he must be at least 60 himself!
stupid crappy mentality of pakistani men who would sto0p down to the lowest level to exploit girls!
Re: Age difference in marriage
Well…just as much as wanting to marry someone closer to your own age makes you “sex hungry western minded creatures”
I know couples in both categories that are happy, masha-Allah. And I hope that they remain happy.
There can never be a definite yes or no to this type of discussion. Different strokes for different folks. However, each scenario has it’s own set of risks. And I have simply pointed one of them out.
I apologize if it strikes too close to home for you.
I’m sure some girls do want a “father figure” in their lives and substitute their husbands for that, but this does not mean that they are in the majority.
By the same token there are probably an equal number of women out there that want to “look after” their man, as his mother would.
In between these two extremes, there is a huge ratio of women that just want a partner to share and explore with. A companion that will walk beside them, not ahead of them to face the challenges of life. Someone that will look at the world and see things the same way…someone that will have first time experiences with her, etc., etc.
Is this a dig at me? I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt in the first post…perhaps you’d better clarify in this one.