agar beta chahiye to...

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

I know many.

To answer the OP's query, I don't think it's going to change. For those of us who don't care about gender of the child, I guess we just have to hold on strong to our beliefs and pass them down to our children. That's all we can really do.

22

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

she should blame her son. its the guys chromosomes that determine the sex of the child.

typical.

23

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

exactly.......this endless whining serves no purpose.....u can't change the society and people around you who have grown up and all........all you can do is inculcate good values in your kids.......do that......instead why this why that ...........we all know its there......but u can't really change it........

24

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

I think we can start the change from ourselves and not sacrifice our whole lives [and put expectations on future kids to be different because we didn't have the guts to do anything] in the hopes that we will change our children.

25

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

Why are boy babies better than girl babies....because girl babies have vaginas...and in our society vagina = source of all evil. True story.

26

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

lol. haha! Sara :D

27

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

(o.O) I thought this stuff had ended like a million year ago, this is news to me and yes, it is horrible but it's life and like many have said before the only way to move forward is to instill the right values in your children so that in so many years time they aren't the ones re-iterating these mistakes.

28

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

I am with MIL on this ..

bas, keh diya ..

29

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

This has happend to a few people that we know - Wife doesn't have baby boy's...so man goes and gets married again to have a boy.

30

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

Im serious. I remember being in Islamic school way back when and the one day that I wasn't in school my cousin (who was in class iwht me) told me that they had shown a diagram of a woman's outline...and the teacher pointed to the pubic area and specifically said that a family's entire honor lies there

WTH!

31

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

I think Beta nasal ko aghey barhata hai isliye uski value hai...

32

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

Bringing a new life into the world is a mirace! The fact that someone can degrade that based on the gender, is disgusting! Naudhubillah, there are so many diseases, illnesses, deformities, defects (the list goes on) a child could have, the only thing you should pray for is a healthy baby. If InshAllah, your prayers are heard, you should be extrememly grateful for it!

Also, there are SO many couples out there desperate for a baby, but it just isn't happening for them, despite the financial, social and emotional sacrifices they've faced. I'm pretty sure they don't have preferences as to which sex it should be!

The MIL should count her family to be lucky that they have been blessed with a baby, MashAllah, regardless of whether it's male or female.

As for your question, no, that ladies thinking can't be changed. If in the future though, your friend decides to have another child, and it turns out to be a son, the fact that she felt bad about her MIL wanting a son from her, will prevent her repeating those words to her own future bahu!

As for her daughter, your friend can raise her with the knowledge of gender equality, so that when she becomes a MIL, such thoughts don't even cross her mind!

33

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

LOL baitay nahi hue koi aloo sabzi ho gayi ke "ji humare khait main tou bas aloo hi ugtey hain" haha

34

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

lol u sound like amitabh from K3G.

35

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

aise logon ka aisa kehne ki himmat un logon ko hoti hai jin ka unhain pata hota hai ke woh chup chaap sun lein ge.

36

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

Unfortunately there are many MILs , Husbands and even own mothers who say such things.
Anyway , I think that you friend should just ignore and enjoy her baby. Words from these people should not spoil the rahmat and happiness that Allah has send in the form of daughter to her.

37

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

So I'm not saying that the MIL was being kind or that what she said was appropriate, but what I do want to note is that she isn't necessarily saying that she isn't happy for the granddaughter. But that she's obviously already thinking about the next one (which is also annoying :D ).

I know plenty of people who pray for daughters after having sons.

38

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

^ I know you have a valid point and we shouldnt look at it from only one way.

I dont have brothers. Ive never seen my parents slip into depression over this...instead Ive seen them prefer girls over boys any day because they say ke larkiyan aaj kal larkon se kam nahin hoti hein. Its never been an issue in my home and those that raised this issue were politely (and once not so politely) shown the door. I do know though that my mother comes from a generation of women who always looked down upon a woman who never had any sons and I am sure she came across such types.

I guess I thought about her and what must have gone through her mind when she heard things like these. I dont think boy babies are any more special than girl babies. I think each have their own place and being blessed with a healthy child is more than enough for me.

39

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

Isn't this whole new insistent phenomena of preferring girls over boys is also some form gender discrimination? A child is a child, but there is also no harm if you want to have a girl that you can dress up or a boy to play footie with.

I've seen people having girls and going over the top and all in your face with oh I love girls/I'm so glad I have a girl/I always wanted a girl/girls are the best/boys are this type superficial gushing as if having a boy would've been a massive let down and a totally unacceptable thing. Yet we go all up in arms if someone says I love boys and I'm so glad I have a boy.

And its totally natural to wish for a girl if you have a boy or wish for a boy if you have a girl. They have this crazy urge to 'complete' the family package with both genders.

40

Re: agar beta chahiye to...

if you talk about a natural yearning yes every mother would want to have a baby girl as well as a baby boy. I believe even for myself, if im already blessed with a baby girl, i would definitely look forward to have a baby boy next to have the blessings of both. if your mil said this in this context like our elderlies do "beti hogai ab Allah beta bhi day", I dont see any harm. But you know your mil better, if she is already a hard to please and fault picking lady, and the way she started to count this and that eatables to you to have a baby boy next time, sounds weird to me since its ONLY in the hands of Allah to bless you with either gender. This is what we call "Shaoor ki kami". May Allah be merciful on such people and guide them to the right path.