One of my friends just had a baby girl…beautiful daughter Mashallah.
She got calls to congratulate her from everyone but when her MIL got on the phone…she said “mubarak ho beta…etc…” and then “agli dafa betay ke liye blah blah khana aur blah blah parhna”
She just delivered and was so sad to hear that…who needs that?
When will this stuff end? What is the advantage of having a son over a daughter?
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
no benefit at all whatsoever...mujhe baRaa afsos hotaa hai aisii zehiniyat ke baare emN sun kar...bil-khusoos aurtoN kii zabaan se sun kar...aurteN bhii bahooot shikaayat kartii haiN [goyaa Allah se, naoozobillah!] scientifically, it's man who is responsible for having a female child. aajkal laRkiyaaN laRkoN se bahtart hotii haiN...ziyaada samajhdaar, ziyaada paRhaakoo, ziyaada zimmedaar...shame on us and shame on ourt culture which values boys more! :(
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
bolney wali bhi aurat, sun-ney wali bhi aurat.
Its so amazing to see transaction from DIL to MIL. 25 years down the road, your friend might be saying same sentence to her bahooo.... and life will still go on.
I even know a old women who has Mashallah around 11 grand-sons and at one done-dish-party she was like "bus hamarey haan tu baitey hee paida hotey hain allah k fazal sai"....
Only if we can hang onto islamic teaching of
Baita allah ki naimat aur baitee rehmat hotee hai ....
only if we can....
oh and here is the kicker, same women will give lecture about how baita and baitee are equal when its time for her daughter to deliver a baby...
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
this mentality will stay until parents sit up and realize that by educating their daugthers, helping them with advice on getting to have proper careers... they dont need sons... daughters can provide just as well.
parents need to stop differentiating between teh 2 genders... its just as hard to give birth to girls as it is to boys.. the gestation period is the same too ...
if only women would realize they dont need to stress themselves out over having sons... that will become their sahara... daughters can be that just as well. if you just let them .. raise them that way...
only then will this need to have a son go away.
its a long shot though.
Re: agar beta chahiye to…
I hope and pray this trend disappears D6C…I dont ever want to hear of this in my family and save for one person have never heard it until now.
:k:
I cant imagine listening to someone say such a thing to me. In my experience in the US…I have never seen a man do more for his parents than a woman. They do the same amount of work.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
Maybe somebody should remind her that her grandparents probably said the same thing about her!
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
When will this stuff end? What is the advantage of having a son over a daughter?
100% - never
75%+ - I'd give it another 2 generations.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
there is no need to be sad about what her MIL said to her. ppl ask for son cuz the way they attached to their daughters, they can never be that sensitive about their sons.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
zobi, if i had a daughter and someone said they'd prefer i had a son...i'd prefer never to see them again
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
As for the advantages of having a son, well this is not really my opinion, but I've heard others say things like that--that the son continue their family and the daughters become part of someone else's family. I couldn't explain it, I'm just saying what I heard. Maybe that's the advantage they see.
Re: agar beta chahiye to…
tell your friend to call her MIL up next time she plans a baby and WARN MIL to make it VERY clear to her son (her husband) to make sure he passes on ONLY Y-chromosomes in future or MIL will be in a BIG trouble for life 
aisi ki taisi !
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
that's horrible.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
People like that exist, I know so many stories like these. Its not okay to have daughters in my husband's jahil family either, its so sad. Life is so uncertain, instead of being happy that they have a healthy daughter, they complain, typical desi society. I hate myself for marrying into such a jahil family, arrghhhh
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
I know some one who has all girls and his wife is 1 of three sisters as well. All her life she has fought with is the depression of being a girl/woman and that she also has only girls.
Husband didn't care but now also because of his wife's despair, has depression of not having boys as well.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
i know a woman who is really really ill but she went through 4 difficult pregnancies just to have a male baby.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
bolney wali bhi aurat, sun-ney wali bhi aurat.
Its so amazing to see transaction from DIL to MIL. 25 years down the road, your friend might be saying same sentence to her bahooo.... and life will still go on.
I even know a old women who has Mashallah around 11 grand-sons and at one done-dish-party she was like "bus hamarey haan tu baitey hee paida hotey hain allah k fazal sai"....
Only if we can hang onto islamic teaching of
Baita allah ki naimat aur baitee rehmat hotee hai ....
only if we can....
oh and here is the kicker, same women will give lecture about how baita and baitee are equal when its time for her daughter to deliver a baby...
And then who can tell the ones who have only girls that they are like the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and his daughters, while his sons never survived beyond infancy and early childhood.
I have only daughters and I love each one of them. Yes I can't play with them like I would with a son, but they love me more then any son would ever love his father.
I know of one couple who had a daughter after eight or 9 years of marriage. Wife conceived and miscarried multiple times. Once the baby dies in the last trimester.
They used to be so depressed. But then Allah swt blessed them with a baby girl and now they are so thankful.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
there is no remedy for this kind of behavior, just ignore and move on. Apna Kaleja jalanay ka kia faida ?
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
You can't shorten the generation gap or change someone's point of view. I believe that the MIL is not that bad of a person, but I guess what she has seen in her life and have brought up makes her belief that boys are better than girls. What one can do in these circumstances is tell the elder person in a polite manner that he/she is proud of the daughter and such thinking is negative in nature.
I hope one day we can overcome such mentality.
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
It's really sad that this mentality is still around, but I certainly think it is changing within the younger generation. Mind you, when my neice (first child) was born, my sister's MIL would get angry if nobody congratulated her, and she even distributed mithai, although they were living in totally different countries. (Although, I think she is within a minority class of people with this kind of thinking).
Re: agar beta chahiye to...
bolney wali bhi aurat, sun-ney wali bhi aurat.
Its so amazing to see transaction from DIL to MIL. 25 years down the road, your friend might be saying same sentence to her bahooo.... and life will still go on.
I even know a old women who has Mashallah around 11 grand-sons and at one done-dish-party she was like "bus hamarey haan tu baitey hee paida hotey hain allah k fazal sai"....
Only if we can hang onto islamic teaching of
**Baita allah ki naimat aur baitee rehmat hotee hai ....
**only if we can....
oh and here is the kicker, same women will give lecture about how baita and baitee are equal when its time for her daughter to deliver a baby...
Yes but lady recently was saying that in her family she has all the rehmat but none of the naimat :D