again my inlaws, have started saying to send my daughter to pak for the wedding, its become a daily mention now.before it wasnt so direct, now its a matter of conversation and im made to feel like shes more imp for them than to me. im going tomrw, so ig uess they are gna say it til they are blue in the face even at the airport, theres no way im sending her even if someone is sent for her, shes staying with me in uk until i come bk wedding or no wedding. i dnt get why they dnt understand this point, as a mother surely my mil should understand?HOW CAN i be apart from my 1 yr old for 3months just for some wedding. its driving me mad, i know u guys said judt ignore, but its driving me crazy makig me upset and im 6months preg im already stressed about other things.
husband so far is saying hel support me, but im worried he will change his mind once ive gone and its nearer the wedding time.
should i still ignore them, or should i say something. at the moment i just smile, a tight smile and dont say anything.
Keep yourself strong and don't let them make decision for you. She is your daughter and you have more right over her than anyone else. Let them say no one can come and just
take away your daughter and fly back to Pakistan do whatever it takes to stop them. I don't know what they are thinking how can they even imagine of separating a 1 year old kid from her mother ........ just be strong for your daughter !
and yes abhi kuch mat bolo when the time comes then speak ......if I were you and someone come to take my daughter away from me I would go on to the extent of reporting to authorities ......may be this extreme but this is how I am as a mother and I can go to any extent to protect my kid.
when i mean someone i mean they are assuming someone is coming to the wedding from our relatives in uk so she can come with them or something, i dnt think so. and they keep saying bhaij do issei....er how can i send a 1 yr old.....i dnt get it. anyway im keeping quiet at the moment. they are not bad people, just overly obsessed with my daughter, which is fine they are her grandparents, but shes my child.
Never send your child alone. Plus the way they seem to be focusing on your kid they are planning the old "I will keep the kid in Pakistan and divorce the BBCD wife" routine.
yes. more than even the father of the child. men don't count as a rule.
diamond321, would you feel the need to "protect" your child, even from a loving father who wanted to have the kid stay with him for a couple of months?
Wane no body can stop a father from meeting his kid but this does not mean that one go on to separate a 1 year old from her mom......a LOVING father should do acts that should not cause separation of family in the 1st place.....no body here is judging her father's love or her grand parents love the issue is simple a child as young as 1 year old needs her mommy more than anyone thats it !
guys, m husbands cool with it, he knows and he is supporting me. its his mum n dad.thing is im just worried hel change his mind closer to wedding ( january)......
My mil would exactly do the same but I will totally smile,nod and ignore because she,my husband and I know how much she doesnt mean it in her heart and even she would know I am never going to send my kid like that. These are important tactics and you need to learn NOT to react/respond negatively at all or you'll lose points and will be blamed by your husband how rude/insensitive you are ! You might hear your husband telling you a month after you leave how his mom misses your daughter and how she heard your daughter just giggled and all..I am not saying she wont miss her because obviously she is her dadi and has a special bond but you need to get used to such stuff and learn to do the same later in life!
I rarely ask if a person is trolling.....but I have wondered that about you due to the frequency of the nature of your posts. If you are trolling....I think it's sad. What goes around comes around...even for crying wolf. If you're genuine...I apologize.
I think this is a pointless thread because you're doing nothing but complaining about the same old issue. Yes, in most cases....the grandbachay are more beloved than the daughter-in-law. Get over it. They don't like you....and it's all good.....because let's face it....you don't like them either. At least your husband likes you....kudos to him for the patiences he has. You're asking for the same advice...and it's basically willpower that's required. It's sorta like complaining about being hungry when you're fasting. If you say something....you risk ruining any progress you've made in fixing your marriage and your in-laws are not open to hearing anything you have to say. Just play them. Make it sound like you're open to seeing how things turn out...."Haan dekha jaaye ga".......and then when the times comes....even the support of your own parents....might help in things going your way. People eventually lose respect for those that complain too much...I've seen it happen many times. I've been on the receiving and giving end of that equation. You just won't learn. You're a grown woman with do bachay......and you won't learn. One day you might end up losing just more than your peace of mind and respect from others...if you keep this up.
as far as matter of ‘they love grand kid more than you’, of course they do. Heck most of the grandparents love their grand kids more than their own kids.
I don't understand why couldn't they postpone SIL's wedding by couple of months, by that way even the newborn would've been part of the joyous occasion . You guys had ages to come up with good all round plan. Surely the presence of first bahu and bhabi of the family at only SIL's wedding should be more important than the presence of a one year baby niece.
The whole thing, you and your inlaws just seem bunch of really cold, self centric egoistic people. No offense.
just tell them straight up your not sending her anywhere alone, at some points in life you have to speak up or they will do what they wish to do.. (eventhough they cant take her without your permission)
