salaam, ok what happens after the walima…i just heard the guy and girl go back to the girl’s house and sleep over…is this true?! I soooooooo don’t like that idea…
Re: after the walima....
In our family, it's a tradition but I wouldn't do that. Actually, I don't think I can even if I wanted to- he lives in a different state and the Valima would be there and by that time we would have our apartment also.. so that's where we would come back to, not my parents house in another state.
I think in Pakistan, it's veryyy common.
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It' usually done in Pakistan, it's called hte muklava.. the new couple spend a night at her parents' house..its just another lil party, parents celebrating the first time she comes back to her home as a newlywed... it's not really done here b/c first ont many ppl know abt it, and second since most weddings are held on weekends..ithis wud fall on a monday and hard to get alot of ppl together on a monday...
Re: after the walima....
I didn't know the guy came with her and they spent the night there. I have a sense that this tradition was sort of a good will gesture, so the girl's family could make sure things were going okay between the bride and groom, especially since they would not see her as often anymore.
I don't think we do that in my family.
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i think its fairly common to invite the bride and groom to a big dinner at the brides parents house soon after the wedding (not necessarily right after the valima) and i guess in some households they also spend the night
i think whether or not families do it depends on their circumstance, whether time and distance allows it to happen
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i dunno, me personally i find it weird...i just found out that's what my mom wants, but i think they should give us atleast a week to settle down before we do that...even then i'll find it so weird sleeping over at my rents' house..like its too soon, it should be after a while, like maybe a month or so...i dunno, just what i would prefer..
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I had never heard of this tradition until I joined GS! We certainly dont have this tradition in our family, and I personally dont know anyone who follows it.
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ww u guys never heard of a muklava? Like every family in pak does it.. (well maybe its just a lahore/punjabi thing)
Re: after the walima....
i dunno, me personally i find it weird...i just found out that's what my mom wants, but i think they should give us atleast a week to settle down before we do that...even then i'll find it so weird sleeping over at my rents' house..like its too soon, it should be after a while, like maybe a month or so...i dunno, just what i would prefer..
you don't have to spend the night right after the walima. you can delay the sleeping over part for about a week. but you should visit your parents house for atleast a couple of hours and have dinner or something.
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Never heard of this tradition until now. It's certainly not a pashtun tradition for sure.
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its a punjabi tradition im sure...
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folks from karachi do it too. they spend the whole day, not just the night.
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Urdu speaking people call it Choothi.
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^yup exactly! i was trying to remember what we called it :)
i always thought the name referred to the fact that it happens on the 4th day after the wedding, but i dont know
anyway i think its a nice tradition, otherwise desi guys are sooo reluctant to spend the night at their in-laws but expect their wives to do it their whole lives :S
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oh the "chawthi", like the fourth day after marriage?
yeah we did that with my phoppo way back when. she was all dressed up and we went and got her from her in-laws place where she moved to with her new hubs, and she spent the whole day with us. and then later on, i think my phuppa joined us for dinner or something.
she looked so pretty, i remember being in total awe of her.
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my cousin did that! and yes i think its probably a punjabi thing, and maybe some urdu speaking people follow it too. i think its cute.
we also brought the newly weds 'nashta' the day after the baraat.
Re: after the walima....
my cousin did that! and yes i think its probably a punjabi thing, and maybe some urdu speaking people follow it too. i think its cute.
we also brought the newly weds 'nashta' the day after the baraat.
in my fam we do the same nastha thing....."larki ke maayke se nashta ata hai" hihi
Re: after the walima....
My aunt and her husband went to the hotel and after that to his house - nothing like this has ever happened in my family i.e. going back to the parents house after valima; but yea after valima (which is arranged by the groom side) we often have a party either or some function or the other but no spending the night though.
HOLY RAVIOLI…!!!Re: after the walima....
Yeah it is definitely a punjabi thing..but I see others follow similar traditions. In my case it was in Paki, but we spent the day with my family at my parents place in Sialkot, Pak, we all hung out, and in the evening it was a bit of a big dinner party with lots of family over. @ days later we headed back to where my in-laws were, in Pindi. But like someone said, i think its just so your family can see you guys together as newlyweds, i think its kewl.
yeah i was sent nashtha in the morning...but literally i thought it'd be just for me n him....n was shocked when i saw it was enough food to feed a tribe...that weirded me out...dunno
i like personal things....so oh well