After Shadi

Lifestyle Relationships
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OK GUYS answer this with honesty:)
Would you mind if your wife did not dress according to the Islamic rules(like proper cloths ,full sleeves,use a head scarf) and did not cover her hair, or would it not matter to you either way? If she didn’t cover up, would you insist that she changed that and started covering?
I also noticed that some guys might be interested in girls who do not normally cover their hair, but they insist that after they get married, one of their conditions is for her to start covering up.

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Re: After Shadi

**I think it all depends on who is going to be the dominant partner in the relationship, as a general rule a gorgeous looking gal will get her way and dress as She wishes to her own interpretation of the dress code that can vary from a revealing sari all the way to a top down Bhurka...........:) **

How MQM won the Orangi Town Election.
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Re: After Shadi

If one consider wife as human, grown up (well educated) , adult person then let her decide what she want to wear, though a person can tell her what he likes and dislikes, but impossing likes and dislikes of one person to another is not advisable.

If someone has any objections on the dressing, it should be sorted out before marriage. if one party disagree , they have option to back-off or compromise. So everyone knows what they are going into. otherswise these kind of "surprises" can be the cause domestic disturbance.

Yes, it is necessary for couples to respect each other's likes and dislikes, and try to adjust accordingly ( iam talking about both male and female).

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Re: After Shadi

My husband doesn't seem to mind what I wear, as long as it is tasteful and classy. He says I could wear miniskirts if I wanted to (I don't) -- but despite that, he will definitely let me know if something looks even slightly low cut, etc. I think he's more conservative/protective than he realizes. But I don't think it's simply about specific measurements. He wants the look to be tasteful, no matter what the length of hemlines, etc.

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Re: After Shadi

Well, she is mashaAllah well educated and senseable.

I don't need to tell her anything. She has herself understood in a month that it can't be a coincidence that every time she goes out in an objectionable dress, the same day I speak less and the same night she sees me taking tablets for head aches, before going to sleep.:D

So, now she is more careful. MashaAllah:)

p.s. I don't need to define "objectionable dress" to her as she knows that better than me, as her mother is mashAllah a very pious practicing muslim, who has already defined it to her

I had made it clear to her from the beginning that she should always prefer the likeness of Allah and the Prophet (saw) over mine, and she has total right to correct me whenever she feels that I am doing anything against "our mutual" Islamic beliefs, in the light of Quran and Hadith.

She may insist to me any Islamic order either alone or infront of others.

I would not insist anything on her, I would only correct her when she wants to know my opinion (Only when we are alone, not infront of others)

InshaAllah. May Allah bless all the muslim husbands and wives to bring themselves and each others closer to their respective "mutual Islamic beliefs"

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Re: After Shadi

I hate it when guys do this :mad: i think guys should make it clear b4 marriage how they want their wife to dress. Personally i feel they should let their wife decide themselves, they shud be sensible enough to know what in their opinion is islamic or non- islamic

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Re: After Shadi

how old r u natalia :hoonh:

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Re: After Shadi

i gues she is just 10 ++ or hardly 10 ++++++++++ :chai:

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Re: After Shadi

why:snooty:

:topic:

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Re: After Shadi

this is not ur cafe:smilestar: either answer in my thread properly or just leave:snooty:btw after reading ur thread
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/showthread.php?t=261258
i can guess ur age:omg:

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Re: After Shadi

for all girls who had sometime post their engagement and before their marriage.... couldn't you really figure out what kinda personality ur husband has?? like if you're a hijabi.. it wont make sense if u marry someone who doesnt even say his namaz! and viceversa... and if u really can't figure out all these little things, then perhaps you should wait a little bit more until u can mature to an age where you're more perceptive.. these little issues just welcome compromises and rebellions and that's definitely not a healthy road to marriage!

and going back to the same point, if ur husband has issues with ur dressing, u should definitely bend backwards to accomodate him!! he's ur husband after all and u really shouldn't dress to impress anyone else other than him!

and i honestly feel bad for the girls whose husbands don't give a rat's ass to what their wives are wearing.. u want ur wife to prance around half-naked, keep that for your own eyes! why hav everyone else's husbands and brothers be checkin out ur wife... that really is very very sad.

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Re: After Shadi

The wife is not a child, that she should bend over backwards for her husband and dress as he likes. When we were 5 our mothers dressed us. As grown up females, I'm sure we are all capable of dressing ourselves sensibly. It is out of his boundaries for him to impose a dressing style on her. If she really is completely baring it all, he can tell her in a nice way and suggest but in no way should he force. It will just cause rebellion, anger and annoyance.

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Re: After Shadi

Though there is nothing wrong with you wanting your wife to dress modestly, I think your approach of feigning illness is melodramatic and immature. Instead of passive aggressively conveying your disapproval, why not have a mature discussion about it.

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Re: After Shadi

Personally, she can dress whatever way she wants..I will leave it up to her good judgement to make that choice

also I want her to be fit and athletic

Pilates lesson is a must :D

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Re: After Shadi

It wouldn't matter to me either way.

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Re: After Shadi

^^

Ditto!

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Re: After Shadi

Hypothetically, yes I would mind if she did not dress appropriately. However, I would have that all cleared up before the marriage were to take place.

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Re: After Shadi

:smack:

generally ur questions were soo immature … Y u hav quoted tht thread ..sheen ne to kaha tha ka mai delete ker doo ge …:naraz:

ok no problem me serious nw… i will answer thm seriously :hug:

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Re: After Shadi

You are right, my way might be immature. We have discussed the matter a few times and I got response of a typical girl of present fashionable muslim society (not all but alot of them) "Yes you are right, the prophet (saw) set those limits, but you know fashion, .......it takes sometime to follow Islamic rules (in old age),......present modern society,.......what will my friends say........you are absolutly right but.......I don't say that you are wrong but...........I also want to follow those rules but.......etc"

^ After such responses I don't argue. The only option I am left with is to only show my dislikeness by silence...and shed tears infront of Allah, when alone at night, to pray Allah to guide us all towards the right path, as it is everyone's own life and no one has the right to enforce one's own view on others, but you know kia karoon kisi aur ke rishtedar ehtiyaat na karein to sar mein dard hota hai par jab apnay na karain to dil mein dard hota hai.

Would you remain calm and comfortable when any of your relative tries to put his/her hand in fire or try to harm himself/herself ????

Though I dont feign illness. I do have rush of blood and head aches when people in the public are given an apportunity by my, sister or wife to look at them in an immoral way. It is not in my control. A couple of times Allah saved me from accident. You might call it my immaturity or childish behaviour.

I think it would take time to get used to such events or in other words to become be-sharam, so that such head aches may not occur. May Allah bless us all and guide us to the right path.

There can be two solutions to the problem. either I go to those people in public personally and ask them " How would YOU feel if I start looking at YOUR mother, sister, wife or daughter in the same manner as your are looking at my wife and sister?"

or I request my own relatives to not give an opportunity to those people to enjoy watching them, because they are not ruining the deeds of their own but of those people and it might lead to ruining of my deeds as well. (Allah forbid)

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Re: After Shadi

this should all be discussed before marriage...esp if u want somoene to wear hijab...then naturally find someone that already does...why should someone change for u...unless they really want to? if its all said and done before fine...everyone knows what tehy are getting into but if a guy decides later taht he wants his wife to all of a sudden start covering....UMM NO! i dont think so. i wouldnt id say sorry u marrid me this way and obviously u liked it....shoujlda thought of that before. its just unfair to expect that all of a sudden.