After Shadi

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: After Shadi

^ And what if before engagement the person used to wear the clothes according to ISlamic rules, but after marriage becomes careless because her mother is no more there to ensure that ?

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Re: After Shadi

ok.. honestly as a hijabi and insha Allah soon to be married.. i can say that.. if a guy wants a hijabi he should look for a hijabi to get engaged to... not someone who may dress modestly but doesnt cover her hair and then ask her to wear a hijab.... because personally i dont thnk i could or would want to wear a hijab for my fiance or husband ... it takes the sacrifice out of it... if a woman follows the etiquetes of hijab.. it should soley be for the sake of Allah (swt)...

But at the same time... i thnk its perfectly okay for a fiance or husband to request his wife to dress modestlyyy... and i think guys shouldd do that if they have any respect for themselves and their wives...

Anddddddd........ alsooo... i really do think that modesty is not just for women.. its for men also.... dont ask ur wife to cover up and not ornament herself in front of other men if u urself are going to dress all GQish put on lots of cologne and keep a "fashionable" beard which may or may not seem like its for religious purposes...

well i guess u guys get the point... the sacrifice is both ways... but at the end of the day one shoudl remember that the first One we have to please is Allah (SWT) and for HIs sake... we should love our spouses... save our beauty only for themm... and make them happy :)

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Re: After Shadi

^ I totally agree. It is useless for a person to request his/her spouse to follow Islamic rules when the person himself/herself doesn't follow (or does not try to follow to his/her level best) the Islamic rules that are implied on him/her

I want to flirt with........
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Re: After Shadi

So this scenario is where the girl only dresses modestly out of a sense of duty to her mother, not out of belief that Islam requires it?

This is why you should check what your spouse believes before you marry them!

Personally, I don't believe in telling others how to dress because your niyat for modest dress should be to please God and not to please other people. I think that wehenever I get married, I wouldn't tell my wife how to dress (unless she dressed so immodestly as to embarrass me..... but I've met hardly any Pakistani girl who dress that badly).

I want to flirt with........
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Re: After Shadi

Alot of people are very innocent and do not concentrate on the practical effects (negative impacts) of their actions against what Islam has order them to do. The problem is not in their beliefs, but not trying enough in convincing oneself in youth but are able to do so in old age.

I have heard some people saying "We believe and we don't have any doubt in Islamic rules, but we need will power to follow those rules" I request them that no one is born with will power. Will power in anything is not a personal quality but comes with the blessings of Allah when we pray to Allah for it.

Alot of times this "will power" comes after frequent reminders are given by relatives BUT through sincerity, humility, hikmah, hadiths and incidents from which a good lesson can be taken. The intention should be to sincerely try to benefit our spouse instead of showing our dictatorship by dominating our views on his/her actions.

On the other hand, Sarcastic remarks, advising infront of others, and advising at the wrong time might have an apposite effect which might make the situation worse.

If we ourselves follow our duties but leave them alone in what they do, than on the day of Judgement they would held us responsible for not trying enough to convince them and vice versa.

That is why repeatition of good words at the right times with sincerity have magical effects on mind in a positive way. Alot of times one word of wisdom might act as a spark for lighting the fire of imaan in one's heart.

(Having said all above I don't claim that I am good at it but InshaAllah I pray to Allah to make me good in dealing with my relatives)

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:

Allah's Apostle said,

"Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges."

[Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 89, Number 252]

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Re: After Shadi

Just read it. (InshAllah would follow by the grace of Allah)
**
**The sayings of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace be upon him)

‘The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

The above quotation was said by Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

I want to flirt with........
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Re: After Shadi

Do you always wear a loose shirt that covers you atleast to mid thigh in front and back? Do you wear your pants anklelength or above? Do you have a beard that is atleast a fistful long?

I mean no disrespect.. but am just curious.

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Re: After Shadi

Though I don't enjoy such questions because my aim is not to display my deeds. Though I try my level best under the environment (Turkey) which strictly dislikes it, I still am sure that I have a long way to go to become a normal practicing muslim. (InshAllah with the blessings and grace of Allah)

In Pakistan YES. Here in Ankara (Turkey) when I wanted to wear shalwar Qameez, I was told that this dress is only wore when a 10 year old boy goes for sunnah (operation) so you yourself decide what impression you would give to people by wearing it.

So I decided to wear lose pent shirt because I haven't seen even a single person wearing shalwar Qameez here in 2.5 years. Though I was told that it is ok if you dont have a shirt till thighs if your pent is loose enough, so sometimes I did wear other shirts (not for fasion but because I didn't have longer shirts due to my 6.1 height. But after you have mentioned it, I would inshAllah consult a scholar and inshAllah buy and wear them.

Above ankle, Alhamdulillah

An inch shorter than a fist. (By the grace of Allah). Am waiting for its growth till fist long. The rule in my university is against beard and hijabs like in france. Only by the grace of Allah I am still studying while having a beard. Please pray that Allah may make it easier for me and bless be with "isteqamat" in my decision.

Sister, It was not a disrespect. I need prayers as I still need to go a long way in order to make myself a good muslim.

p.s. Everything I said about my wife and other people were related to Pakistan.

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Re: After Shadi

I wouldnt do it to please a man but for the sake of Allahjee only.

Then again, brother submission to peace......your sort gives me hope...the way you write it in honesty, ur approach etc. made me teary in a good sense. So bless the mother who gave birth to a man/brother like you. And the hadice you quoted is my favorite, so jazakallah!

**‘The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

**The above quotation was said by Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Sing a Song according 2 Ur Mood !!!!!
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Re: After Shadi

^ JazakAllah khair sister for the kind words of encouragement. I do agree that my mother is a real beautiful blessing of Allah, but to be honest I don't deserve to be called a good muslim (at least till now). If you feel like that than my writings are giving a wrong impression about me and makes me feel like a munafiq.

I just need your prayers to become a pious person like you.

Thanks again for the kind words of encourgement. It means alot for a person like me who needs to improve himself alot as a human.

p.s. In case if my words gave a wrong impression about my wife, it is actually not like that. I dont have any doubt that she is alot better muslim than me in many ways, and she has corrected me on a number of occassions inorder to make me a good muslim, but at times we human unintentionally violate the orders of our beliefs without realizing the negative impact of our actions on this life and in hereafter.

I miss her alot as she is in Pakistan. We got married 1.5 months ago and she would have to wait till I arrange a house and other facilities for us here in Turkey.

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Re: After Shadi

hmmmm

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hmmmm

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Re: After Shadi

hi iraj

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Re: After Shadi

[QUOTE]
JazakAllah khair sister for the kind words of encouragement. I do agree that my mother is a real beautiful blessing of Allah, but to be honest I don't deserve to be called a good muslim (at least till now). If you feel like that than my writings are giving a wrong impression about me and makes me feel like a munafiq.

I just need your prayers to become a pious person like you.

Thanks again for the kind words of encourgement. It means alot for a person like me who needs to improve himself alot as a human.

p.s. In case if my words gave a wrong impression about my wife, it is actually not like that. I dont have any doubt that she is alot better muslim than me in many ways, and she has corrected me on a number of occassions inorder to make me a good muslim, but at times we human unintentionally violate the orders of our beliefs without realizing the negative impact of our actions on this life and in hereafter.

I miss her alot as she is in Pakistan. We got married 1.5 months ago and she would have to wait till I arrange a house and other facilities for us here in Turkey.
[/QUOTE]

Allah will help us in practising islam Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen

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Re: After Shadi

Oh my GOD. Then why ever did you marry her if you saw that she dressed inappropriately???

:rolleyes:

Plenty of burqay walis to go around. Kisi ko pakar lehte. Why go after a butterfly, if you just want to trap it in the end?

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Re: After Shadi

InshAllah brother. May Allah guide all of us towards the right path.:)

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Re: After Shadi

We all need +tive feedback, brothers. The urge for perfection and to become a better Muslim day by day.....is the key word. Where there is will, there is way/solutions. Jazakallah, keep it going...also you, df bhai.

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Re: After Shadi

:hmmm:

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Re: After Shadi

I wonder when we as a species will get over ourselves. Do you really truely think that a being so superior to us as to be omni-everything, really, truely from the bottom of whatever is metaphorically synonamous to a heart...gives a damn?

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Re: After Shadi

Liar

I can bet if she wears a burqa you'll be up in arms.

Your Mobile Ring tone!!!