M asking this for a friend of mine … so its in no case related to me k ? …
so the situation is… i hav a friend who had his nikah done few months back… now he is coming over to pakistan for rukhsati .. thing is .. he has never met the girl… talked on phone yes… seen her picture.. but never really met her.. he is coming a month earlier from the rukhsati so he can take her wife(cos they had their nikah done) out on dinner or lunch.. now the problem occurs when his wife’s parents refused to let her go with him.. they said he can either visit her at their home or he can take her home and spend time with her.. but they cant let her go out with him alone before rukhsati. He talked to his own parents about this n asked if that is okay.. they told him its okay for them but then if her parents are not allowing her… its better not to make this an issue… now he is really pi**ed…his point is kay now if they r married wuts the big fuss about taking her out wagera… he is right in a sense .. but then thats hurting him too … so wut should b done in the above situation !!! any advice ?
nothing. He is in Pakistan and he will have to abide by the daqyanoos jahilana customs. They are married and legally they can go anywhere they want, but these old rasmo rivaj will not allow.
hmmm I understand his frustration Aleezay, but ab nikah ho hi chuka hay, maybe he can wait a month and just go out with her after rukhsati? One month is not that long of a time and its not crucial that he spend time with her in that month is it...I mean he doesn't have to base any future decisions or actions on this right..? They are already husband and wife.
Waise he can meet her in his house or her house right? Maybe he should just do that, why insist on going to public places?
Waise would her parents be okay if they went out in a group to a public place? Maybe his sisters or her sisters or cousins ets could join? Maybe his parents can suggest that to the girl's parents?
my bro wants to go back and get his nikah done too just so he can "freely" talk to his fiance.. he doesnt understand, even then he aint gonna be allowed to do anything..
^ it could be called stupidity.. but when ur living in a society where a husband and wife still get talked about if they're seen hand in hand.. imagine the talk bout nikafied couples
its never really to do with the parents, its always bout the "society".. sad
The parents of girl will feel comfortable if he takes some other person (some common friend or cousin ) with them to date. I think parents of the girl are being reasonable enough to allow them to meet at home. The guy should understand their position
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
^ it could be called stupidity.. but when ur living in a society where a husband and wife still get talked about if they're seen hand in hand.. imagine the talk bout nikafied couples
its never really to do with the parents, its always bout the "society".. sad
[/QUOTE]
well i do not see a difference between a husband and a wife and a nikafied couple....
yeh true it depends on the family...but that is what im saying..it is just plain stupid if the family has any objections if the couple is holding hands eg..
^ they prob dont mnid that in the privacy of their own home.. but i think they'd disapprove if they're outside... which is unfair i guess when ur nikahed
Kaleem: I kno Man.. he is in US right now.. and fuming to b very honest… but thats true.. we cant do much right now .. thats how the system is here.
irem: Irem .. thanks larki .. u always makes sense … problem is not just goin out larki.. its just that he wants to talk to her alone for some time.. you kno.. just to kno the basics about her n stuff. And well.. he has been in US for most of his life and when he knows he isnt wrong, its really kinda hard to explain the traditions here which simply dont make sense to him.
sadzz: Very true, but thats not the case always.. my family is against engagement in the first place.. so its either nikah or nuthin.. khayr .. lets see … from the look of things right now .. he needs to wait till rukhsati
lussi: Some time dumb things r considered as traditions .. u cant go against them …
The guy just need some innovation and problem solved.
Ask some married couple (like his/her brother sister ) to go with them on a double date and then they can give them privacy for 2,3 hours and they can talk and know each other about every matter they need to discuss.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Code_Red: *
Ask some married couple (like his/her brother sister ) to go with them on a double date and then they can give them privacy for 2,3 hours and they can talk and know each other about every matter they need to discuss.
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i'd say exchange email addresses, get on msn and talk away
A guy was Nikahfied and girl was doing house job. There was no restriction on them to meet or hang out. The guy lived in some other city and the girl in lahore. The rukhsati was schduled after the end of house job.
The rukhsati was scheduled after a month. The guy became desparate (may be the girl too ) He booked a room in a hottel for a nite, picked the girl from hospital enjoyed thier suhaag raat, one month earlier.
But in my view they enjoyed the pleasure of doing sin without doing something wrong.
… problem is not just goin out larki.. its just that he wants to talk to her alone for some time.. you kno.. just to kno the basics about her n stuff. And well.. he has been in US for most of his life and when he knows he isnt wrong, its really kinda hard to explain the traditions here which simply dont make sense to him.
Brilliant idea… but its kinda scary.. m worried about her wife’s parents… 
) He booked a room in a hottel for a nite, picked the girl from hospital enjoyed thier suhaag raat, one month earlier. 