i’m back on gupshup after such a long time. 
i went into a state where i wasnt able to express myself or maybe everything just seem pointless to be expressed, meaningless words.
i had the shock of my lifetime when i found out my husband was having an affair. tat was some 10 mths ago. i went abt my life like as if nothin happened. i took on a full-time job to occupy my mind. i tried to find some sort of answers from ppl and on gupshup anonymously but i was still lost. nothin helped. all that kept playing in my mind was, i wanted to grow old with this man, why did he do wat he did? why did he betray me?
well, u guess it right, there are no answers. men and women simply cant think alike. u can fight for all kind of equality but no u cant mess with nature
honestly it wasnt easy. at some point, i even lost the will to live. he was my only family besides my son. i felt so betrayed and cheated, i lost faith in everyone around me. i went in and out of depression. somedays i wanted to pack and move on. somedays i just cried myself sick wishing so hard tat he would take me in his arms and tell me its all an elaborate joke. i was affecting my son.
and all this while, he was going thru his own depression and shame. his friends and family abandoned him. we cudnt seem to support each other. i moved out for a while. it helped. at least distance kept da quarrels away. i was afraid of my own self. the way i kept bringing up his mistakes to him. i felt psychotic. tat was when i realised the mistake of putting my all in a human being.
i took responsibility of my own fall and moved on.
yeah i chose to forgive. simply cuz i understand ppl make mistakes.
maybe cuz i care too much.
or maybe i’m simply being a coward, afraid to move on to the unknown.
its not easy to identify the fears.
been married for 8 years.
he was or rather he made me believe he’s trustworthy, honest and a loving husband.
i used to go around telling ppl to trust their spouses like how i trust mine lolzz… what a joke it turned out to be!
in reality, he’s a drinker, gambler, cheat, womaniser, faithless man.
i lived with him for 7 years without realising any of the above, can u beat tat? all cuz he was leading a very convincing double life. psycho? maybe. i’m still studying his real character for wat he really is.
childhood traumas, lack of attention and low self-confidence. i know for a fact his family always put him down for his lack of intelligence, education etc.
so wats making me stay?
if he can convincingly put up a good side to me for 7 years, i’m sure there’s someone good in him somewhere?
ppl tell me to leave him and move on. yes tats an option but i’ve always believed the grass is not greener elsewhere. if i hav to leave him and struggle to get a new life why not struggle with him now and give us a new life? revenge is not my cup of tea.
anyway isnt it our duty to give a hand to those who hav fallen? strangers we’re willing to help, why not family?
yes he personally knowingly hurt me. direct stab. but doesnt tat goes to show the level of his ignorance?
he has now gave up his night job and drinking.
i can see positive progress. i have hope. honestly tat is all i have. i know i cant change him without the will of the Almighty.
when i was a teenager, i wanted to help the world. i wanted to do wat Mother Theresa was doing. I didnt hav the chance back then, maybe this is my chance?
well, wat can i say? he’s a lucky man
pls feel free to share ur experiences and shower me with ur wisdom and advice. i need it.
married guys, i wanna hear ur opinions. if u and ur wife had to go thru something similar, wat would both of u do to make things better again?
