Afraid to be a good husband...

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Afraid to be a good husband...

no one can play monopoly in marriage with the spouses.
marriage is a private social contract between 2 individuals - a female and a male.

if you believe that you are independent and detached with in the family life- and your better half deserves no empathy from you, then know that same will be for you. every one is independent like your self.

without the weak arguments of religious strictures that are acutely lop-sidedly screwed against women and the so-called cultural values - which are all man- made any way, think for a minute - how do YOU want to build and sustain a caring and loving relationship with your spouse is up to you. when good, it will have good fruitious consequences, when not good, it will not have good fruitious consequences and comfort in your mind.

thinking and acting in a state of arrogance and anger is forbidden in Islam. it is not good for health, so you tell me, who, what man, would mistreat his spouse on the basis of being just a man, when he is also her spouse at the same time?
ideally, both ought to be in good conscious, helpers of each other until death separates them.

i as a woman, wont have any problem, being my husband's friend. i will feed him, clothe him and provide shelter for him, and still consult him, placing my full trust in his ability to think wisely to use his wisdom, be it personal, familial or collective societal matters.

"that" may be called a good relationship, not some relationship which is based on self-grandeur.

in the end the frail body on a death bed is and will be of the man - the man dies early in most cases. with due respect to all self- sacrificing women - their men must treat them nicely and with kindness, so that in their end time, they are treated with care and love.

this is a survival strategy for both . u give and u take. u don't just take with a mean sense of entitlement. note that only care and love begets care and love, not anger or fear.

maybe women and men need to reassess the logic of their behaviors that they display in communication to their spouses. it will facilitate learning why they believe one way or the other. and hopefully open up the eyes to these utter myths like this one that you mentioned: to maintain the "place" of the man in the house hold, he needs to have the final say in every thing.
escapes many!

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