tell the other women that he has a wife and children, that is if she doesn’t know ..... or he might be thinking of a second wife ... not appropriate to approach the wife as you can't tell what she knows or what will/has her husband tell/told her ... you approaching the mother will turn this private affair into a public one that is community gossip and i don't think any of the three or you will want that ...
What the hell? Why should care of the children be on her head?
Why wasn’t the sleazeball father thinking about hsi children when he started cheating on his wife?
Amazing the lengths people go through to defend sick actions of others. 
Sara, is it about “punishing” the guy? If thats the intent, then better thing, take photos and publish on internet.
If it is about a family then children ARE involved.
I am not trying to “defend” anyone, i am pointing out that its best to keep out of it.
By the way, i have said enough on this.
Sara, is it about "punishing" the guy? If thats the intent, then better thing, take photos and publish on internet.
If it is about a family then children ARE involved.
I am not trying to "defend" anyone, i am pointing out that its best to keep out of it.
By the way, i have said enough on this.
Sorry but I don't think its her job to think about HIS kids. he should have thought of the consequences of his actions before he decided to do what he did.
If the wife were to divorce the husband, would you blame her? For driving him to cheat, for taking her children away from the father?
In any case if the OP she does not have solid proof (and without solid proof u can't be 100% sure of anything) , she should really stay out of it, to protect herself.
Re: affair
Iconoclast- Ya I don't care if you're a doctor. That was unnecessary information.
Anyway, you're suggesting:
1.) She should suffer for her kids, and he should keep cheating
2.) Anyone who cheats on their spouse shouldn't be punished when Islam you are punished for such a thing
3.) It's okay that he cheated because it's not HIS responsibility to think about the children
And btw, you're also suggesting that if you tell him not cheat he won't do it again. Haha like come onnnnn. And how does a person stop an individual from cheating anyways? Explain.
Re: affair
^By persuading them.
Alright ladies, i give up.
Basically what Pakistani police has been doing all along, asking couple to show Nikah Namas or ID cards to prove their relationship is quite the right thing to do.
Re: affair
BY persuading them. LOL. Are you serious right now? So you think going up to the man and saying "hey stop cheating okay, its BAD" he's gonna be like "Yes sir" ????
I mean you're a doctor, you should know that the solution isn't this easy, and sometimes there is no solution.
Re: affair
i agree with icono. i would want to get invovled. there are very many things that are going on in marriage that an outsider cannot know. if asked i wouldnt lie but i wouldnt take it upon myself to be the bearer of bad news. i dotn see why i should.
Dear guppies,
A male cousin of mine is having an affair with another woman. He is married and has children. I somehow find it out that he is having affair. Should I inform his wife or just stay away from this whole mess? There is a possibility that he might do nikah with this other woman
Take photos or a video recording of that cousin while he is out with the other woman. Then secretly post it to his wife. She has the right to know.
Re: affair
That is beyond stupidity. I wouldn't *personally *get involved, but depending on how much I cared for the wife, I would drop it into the ears of someone who would.
And yea to what all the woman have said. A cheater does not reform. Not in the same relationship anyway. Everyone who has emotionally / physically strayed knows this. There is no excuse for infidelity either. In the same way that there is no excuse for murder, rape etc. We have to have certain standards that we uphold. Not everything can be classified as subjective or no Law would ever hold and no one would ever have a steady moral compass.
also Men do not just wake up one morning and repent. They are forced to regret their actions, or compromise on their lust cause they get caught.
And I think the kids have a right to know what a complete heartless moron who obviously doesn't care for them...their father is.
That man chose to break the home when he cheated. I think judging him on that is every righteous persons prerogative. Holier than thou? Maybe, but only when the thou is an idiot.
Re: affair
I think it would be best that you take the proof and confront the cousin rather then his wife , as an initial measure ..
Some men are really complex creatures , they can camouflage themselves really well when it comes to extra marital affairs and many a times women are caught off guard .. yes kids are important in a marriage , but if the father is busy with other women , clearly he is not a home maker and cares least about his kids .. in this scenario the hurt is inevitable for both the wife and the kids .. but its eventually the woman's decision whether she wants to forgive her husband and carry on or not.
Morality does demand that we take action when we see a sin happening. It becomes odd when we confront the wrong person in this case his wife ... but if you being a cousin confront him with what you know , he will either clear any misunderstandings if any , or else he will be warned of his ill behaviour.
and for those of you who believe keeping the parda on what nature has already hidden, please note that you cant put parda on all the things .. the parda in this case would be that you dont go around talking about the guys affair to every tom , dick and harry ...but as long as you are talking only to the concerned party you wont be going against any religious laws ...
Allah mian knows best ...
I think it would be best that you take the proof and confront the cousin rather then his wife , as an initial measure ..
Some men are really complex creatures , they can camouflage themselves really well when it comes to extra marital affairs and many a times women are caught off guard .. yes kids are important in a marriage , but if the father is busy with other women , clearly he is not a home maker and cares least about his kids .. in this scenario the hurt is inevitable for both the wife and the kids .. but its eventually the woman's decision whether she wants to forgive her husband and carry on or not.
Morality does demand that we take action when we see a sin happening. It becomes odd when we confront the wrong person in this case his wife ... but if you being a cousin confront him with what you know , he will either clear any misunderstandings if any , or else he will be warned of his ill behaviour.
and for those of you who believe keeping the parda on what nature has already hidden, please note that you cant put parda on all the things .. the parda in this case would be that you dont go around talking about the guys affair to every tom , dick and harry ...but as long as you are talking only to the concerned party you wont be going against any religious laws ...
Allah mian knows best ...
Hmm... I think I have to agree if you put it this way. Personally I think a cheating spouse can be the worst thing to happen to anyone in a marriage and I think cheaters should be made an example.
PS: Has anyone seen the movie unfaithful.... really creepy !!
Hmm... I think I have to agree if you put it this way. Personally I think a cheating spouse can be the worst thing to happen to anyone in a marriage and I think cheaters should be made an example.
PS: Has anyone seen the movie unfaithful.... really creepy !!
Yes snowy, personally i would want the same that the cheaters be punished hard .. but eventually the power remains in the wife's hands to decide what she wants to do , divorce or forgive him and move on ...
I know a girl , she separated from her husband and 8 months later he came back seeking forgiveness ... and after alot of thinking she decided to get back with him and they are now a happy couple ... I was shocked when I came to know of her decision , but again i wasnt the one to decide , it was her decision and her call and she chose to do what she thought was best in her situation.
At the same time I also believe that most cheating men continue to cheat no matter what and in that case women should totally divorce them and shouldnt get scared of the age old thing "bacho ka kia ho ga "...
PS: Has anyone seen the movie unfaithful.... really creepy !!
Has anyone seen "Before the Devil knows you're dead." that's even creepier...
err wait thats a diff thread.
Holier than thou? Maybe, but only when the thou is an idiot.
I love this. :D
Re: affair
Err.....I think its very pertient to the topic in discussion, which is, cheating spouses.
Or maybe ya'll need ta edit the rules.... only discuss something from real life. Nothing from books/movies/dramaz etc etc/
Re: affair
Thanks for your advices
This cousin of mine is a religious man and I think if he will be confronted abt his relation with this lady(she is a divorcee and in her thirties), his argument will be he will do nikah with her for 'swaab' (because in Islam 4 marriages are allowed for a man)
So what do you guys say abt it?
Do you know someone who is getting a second wife for Islam?
Re: affair
^ First of all, how do you know he is having an affair? I think you need to clarify this for everybody.
HOW CONVENIENT!! First of ALL have an affair, and then TAKE SUPPORT FROM RELIGION to JUSTIFY IT!!!
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
In that case, I think ALL religious MEN are SATAN! for sure!
IMAGINE - if a woman started an AFFAIR with a widower - thinking BECHARA needs someone FROM RELIGIOUS POINT OF VIEW!
I am ready to shoot ya all!
serious reply please