Re: affair
^ It is disgusting, but hey, it's a lot easier to turn a blind eye and act like you never saw anything. I personally don't know how anybody can live with that.
Re: affair
How sad. Will you feel bad if she gets a STD from her husband who's sleeping around? Sick. .
Are not we jumping too forward too soon Mehnaz. Where did she say anything about physical relationship in her post?
Are not we jumping too forward too soon Mehnaz. Where did she say anything about physical relationship in her post?
Yes, I am assuming it's a physical affair and not just an emotional one. What I am saying is based on that. Khair ... I feel bad for the wife. Emotional affair is just as bad, if not worse.
^ It is disgusting, but hey, it's a lot easier to turn a blind eye and act like you never saw anything. I personally don't know how anybody can live with that.
So you mean, people should go around telling women, hey your husband is cheating on you, how disgusting, how can you live with him, get a divorce pronto.
Re: affair
You said yourself women have an intuition about these things and choose to ignore it. So if that's the case, she is suffering unless she's made of stone. If she has no idea, she'll be devastated and suffer even more because she had no idea it was happening.
So maybe she's not suffering right now. But the whole family is bound to suffer.
Anyway, I'm glad you guys think this is funny.
Re: affair
Lets not confuse the issue based on assumption then Mehnaz ..
Muslimgirl already does not have a proof and she is so so sure about the affair, and now we are adding physical relationships and wifes and kids sufferings in the picture .. this is how a mole becomes a mountain ..
why cant we discuss the topic based on its face value only
You said yourself women have an intuition about these things and choose to ignore it. So if that's the case, she is suffering unless she's made of stone. If she has no idea, she'll be devastated and suffer even more because she had no idea it was happening.
So maybe she's not suffering right now. But the whole family is bound to suffer.
Anyway, I'm glad you guys think this is funny.
Aishaa Jee
You are still a bachi, and, have to see a lot of things in life.
There are people who have cheated and repented and are wonderful spouses and parents, there are those who "slipped", and became fine later. Had they separated, their kids would have missed wonderful parent.
DOn't try to be a moral police to decide about marriages.
In the end its their spouses call to decide about relationship.
You do have a moral responsibilty. If your friend is having an affair, would you not tell him to stop it or are you just going to sit back and act like you didn't see him? MuslimGirl, if you have proof, then go and talk directly to the cousin and confront him.
Anyway, I'm out of this thread. Toodles.
Re: affair
When did I say it wasn't the spouses decision to decide about their marriage? I said it would be better to inform an adult since its her cousin she's talking about.
It's funny how I'm still a bachi but I give better advice than any 80 year old man on this forum. And if you're one of those people who have "slipped" and repented than good for you. I'm glad things worked out for you.
Re: affair
[QUOTE]
And if you're one of those people who have "slipped" and repented than good for you. I'm glad things worked out for you.
[/QUOTE]
I was actually thinking the same thing.
MuslimGirl, if you have proof, then go and talk directly to the cousin and confront him.
That is exactly what I am also saying Mehnaz ..get a proof and confront the guy
Thank God one more person thinks like me in this thread ..
Re: affair
TLK i acutally agree with u guys too...no reason to go to his wife...u should get proof and talk to ur cousin...
Re: affair
muslimgirl87, if you are 100% sure, you must have some sort of proof. If it's just a gut feeling then, I'm not sure I'd call that proof. You could follow him around perhaps.
Once you have some sort of proof, then it is your responsibility to either inform your cousin that you are aware of his affair and take it from there.
How sad. Will you feel bad if she gets a STD from her husband who's sleeping around? Sick. .
Are not we jumping too forward too soon Mehnaz. Where did she say anything about physical relationship in her post?
Try and get proof then confront ur cousin, tell him if he doesn't come clean to his wife you will. That way she can then decide for herself whether she wants to put up with it or walk away.
Not a good idea to go straight to the wife first cos she might accuse u of 'stirring' or jealousy (even with proof some women will want to try and 'save face' and blame the messenger).
Those who are saying best to turn a blind eye and not get involved at all, I wonder how would they like it if someone reckoned that their spouse was cheating but decided to sit back and not do anything.
Re: affair
-I don't think I can watch somebody being cheated upon, especially when I have proof.
-Not every person being cheated upon has that intuition.
-The OP certainly has a big moral responsibility here (but you have to be careful in who you talk to and how.)
Re: affair
There is a saying: jiss cheez per qudrat ki taraf se purdah para huwa hai.... uska parda na uthaya jae to behtar hai.
Some people just love to see divorces over unconfirmed issues.
Personally I think you should stay away from it.
When did I say it wasn't the spouses decision to decide about their marriage? I said it would be better to inform an adult since its her cousin she's talking about.
It's funny how I'm still a bachi but I give better advice than any 80 year old man on this forum. And if you're one of those people who have "slipped" and repented than good for you. I'm glad things worked out for you.
LOL, i have slipped and not repented and still cheating, if that makes you happy.
I am a physician and by virtue of that people confide in me or they have to for their own sake. (Ofcourse i cannot and do not disclose that to anyone, as part of professional conduct.) I have discussed this issue with a lot of very senior colleagues and with clergymen and eventually came to conclusion that its best never to volunteer such information to anyone's spouse, the most who stands to loose in it is the person who gives the info. And sa i said previously, may be the wife does not want to be told, its also quite possible that despite any proof she turn on against the OP (has happened many times).
Try to stop the person from cheating if you can, otherwise, in my personal opinion, there is no obligation upon people to disclose affairs or moral policing.
By the way, you are completely ignoring the issue of children, which to me is the main concern. Why you want them to suffer.