Nothing left for me to say, the answer to your question is quite clear girlie1.
Re: Advises and suggestions
So what would be really better for me is to cut all contacts with him.
Re: Advises and suggestions
YES girlie .. that is your only option and believe in your heart that if he is in your kismet you will get him , otherwise trust me there are many good men out there who will know your real worth and make sure that not only does he respect you but also his family loves you and respects you .... THAT is real life ... the life that this guy is promising you is nothing but full of crap and disrespect ...
Re: Advises and suggestions
Yes!
Yes!
Good girl. First time I see someone listen to the advice given here.
:)
I hope you do follw the advices which have been given. We are just saying it for your own benefit. Most of us have experince, we are giving you advice based on that experince. But again its your life, so in the end its your choice. I just hope you make the right choice and dont end up regreting laters. Hugz
Re: Advises and suggestions
Girlie.........have you tried getting your parents to invite his mom over to your home? So that the two families can meet (not necessarily for rishta purposes).......but just to get to know each other? This will allow you to get to know his mom better and could also help you decide (after observing her behavior) if you still want to pursue this relationship.
Also, can your boyfriend try to convince his ammi to get to meet your parents? I've asked this before and I don't think you gave an answer (or perhaps I don't remember it).
About this plan that you've suggested above^. Do you mean that you and your BF are going to tell your parents that ......"We have separated from each other".............and then you BOTH are going to do some acting (moping around.......being sad......looking depressed............bhook hartaal............no eating........no sleeping.........dark circles around the eyes)...............................And then parents will get sooooooooo upset as they do in the movies.............and then they'll surrender to your wishes.
^Is that the plan? Tends to work in Bollywood. You can try it. It's manipulative. And many parents can't BEAR the sight of their child withering away...and just might put the ego to the side and give their blessings for union. I dunno.......could work.......may not. If it does work.........his mom STILL might not be crazy about you.
Re: Advises and suggestions
Girlie are you gonna open up another thread asking the same question? Obviously no matter what advice people tell you, Your gonna follow your heart. What i dont like about posting threads on Life1 is that People always judge the other person, by saying your man aint good for you. We dont know that, Only you do. Seriously. If your heart says cut ties do it, If you can live without him do it. If you cant. Then dont! In life you make mistakes We learn. But dont do this mistake where you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Today both your parents' don't approve of ur relationship with each other so u guys lie. tomorrow they still won't approve of it. wat are you going to do? lie your whole life?
this has to stop! either he stands up for you and accepts u w/o running away or you run for your life.
Girlie.........have you tried getting your parents to invite his mom over to your home? So that the two families can meet (not necessarily for rishta purposes).......but just to get to know each other? This will allow you to get to know his mom better and could also help you decide (after observing her behavior) if you still want to pursue this relationship.
Also, can your boyfriend try to convince his ammi to get to meet your parents? I've asked this before and I don't think you gave an answer (or perhaps I don't remember it).
About this plan that you've suggested above^. Do you mean that you and your BF are going to tell your parents that ......"We have separated from each other".............and then you BOTH are going to do some acting (moping around.......being sad......looking depressed............bhook hartaal............no eating........no sleeping.........dark circles around the eyes)...............................And then parents will get sooooooooo upset as they do in the movies.............and then they'll surrender to your wishes.
^Is that the plan? Tends to work in Bollywood. You can try it. It's manipulative. And many parents can't BEAR the sight of their child withering away...and just might put the ego to the side and give their blessings for union. I dunno.......could work.......may not. If it does work.........his mom STILL might not be crazy about you.
Redvelvet,his mom is a very stubborn type,so i don't it's going to work if my parents invite her over to our home.And my parents aren't willing to hear anything,because they say,since his mom doesn't agree,so they too can't do it.
Re: Advises and suggestions
^ I don't know man.
You both can get married without your parents' blessings.............but that will hurt your parents. It will destroy your reputation in our conservative desi society. "Good girls don't run away from homes to get married."
^Also, let's say that you run away to get married. And the marriage fails. It may be harder for you to get married again with the "blemish" of elopement in your record.
I try my best to give advice that's sound................and what I'm suggesting now may sound filmi...........(can't believe I'm suggesting it).......but you never know.................things like this sometimes work. I know of a guy.......who didn't finish college........had no degree...........really didn't have the means to financially support a marriage.........he was being financially supported by wealthy parents.......his mom DID NOT LIKE THE GIRL..............his whole family DID NOT LIKE THE GIRL (aunts, uncles, cousins).................but in the end his mother surrendered because she was afraid of "losing" her son.
^Sometimes (and I've seen this happen) parents give in when they see their kid looking depressed and withering away. So, your boyfriend can try the strategy of telling his mom that he has separated from you..................and then he can carry on this drama of acting depressed/sad/restless........a complete DEVDAS............and maybe his mom will let go of his stubbornness at the miserable sight of her son. Maybe such acting (if it has not been attempted already) might work on her.
^You should maybe set a deadline for this relationship because you can't wait forever for him. Life will pass you by.
Re: Advises and suggestions
tum itny dot use mat kia karo, ager khatam ho gaey to??
tum itny dot use mat kia karo, ager khatam ho gaey to??
Fikar not.............................................................my dots are as endless as your nonsense.
Go ahead and try it. You and your BF have tried the HONEST/straightforward/direct approach with your families. And his mom hasn’t budged on the issue. So, I guess you can try a more sneaky strategy. Who knows? It might work.
Let us know how it went. It could even be used as a suggestion for others in the same situation…IF…it turns out to be successful.
Do, pray regularly to Allah to make things easy for you.
Re: Advises and suggestions
What is sadistically funny is that you will listen to all the advice here and you will nod your head, but you will do what he will tell you to do. You will end up majorly hurt, and this is when you will grow up emotionally (and somewhat mentally).
If only we could learn from others experience. But na, we dont.
What is sadistically funny is that you will listen to all the advice here and you will nod your head, but you will do what he will tell you to do. You will end up majorly hurt, and this is when you will grow up emotionally (and somewhat mentally).
If only we could learn from others experience. But na, we dont.
I may not necessarily do what he may tell me to do,without giving much thoughts to that.
Re: Advises and suggestions
Not a good idea to pretend you both are separated.
Obviously you want to continue to be played by him.
Sadly it appears you have no better choice.
Hope you find someone better with better situations.