advise needed

[queen_24]

Re: advise needed

@cpa2011

hi,

I have the following issue.

I sponsored my husband, after 3 years he finally got his spouse visa. Once we got our Nikha he started being really mean. He was super nice during the engagement but after we did the nikha, he stared to be super mean. I would say things like I don’t want you to work, and would randomly tell me to stop going to work. Obvously I didn’t listen to him and continued to work. Then he started like accusing me of like having a boyfriend or being “avara” he didn’t actually say it, but he implied it several times. the first three times I was like politely saying hey don’t say that, im not likle that Im from a good family and I have a great job, why would I be that kind of girl. After he said it a couple if times, I just said hey your family must be like that so that’s why ur so worried about me and basically ended it right there. Then he appologied, and called me like 3 times. After that he would like call me randomly from 7-10 weekdays to see if I was home. Im an accountant, and sometimes I have really late hours, but I started working from home in the evenings, like I would just take my laptop home with me and continue working at home incase he called. Then on the weekends he calls randomly to check to see if im home. I mean, come on lets be honest if I work all week, I need Saturday/sunday to do my stuff. But I tried to stay home on the weekends too. When he didn’t have his visa, he would say lets have a kid now, but I was against it as I wanted him to be in the US and be a part of the kid’s life, I mean I wanted a baby to see him. I got worried and didn’t want to be a single parent. Now he says that oh, since you didn’t want a kid then Im going to wait 2 years and then have a kid. I have a feeling that either A he will wait for his greencard to be a 10 year card, and then leave. or B he is just giving me a hard time, and will attend the wedding and will have a kid. My problem is if I leave this guy, obviously relatives will be like really mean and talk **** and be happy with my downfall. dIf I stay, and he breaks up with me later, its even worse, because I will have had set him up and did everything for him. Finally, again im going to be 30 next year, and I don’t know my chances of finding some one in the US. I mean does any one see a way of making this relationship work? or what should I do? Any examples of girls who did a marrage overseas?

Are you really sure his calls are check ups over you? what if its the only time he gets free and tries to speak with you.

Of course you know him better and there must have been things that you haven’t mentioned but Marriage/ Divorce are really important and sensitive issues. I would just suggest you to make sure he is really “that kind of” guy and not really the one you wanted.

On the other hand, if you really think that he is not what your partner should like, then its better to have a break up now than later when you two have not developed any emotional and physical relations. Its really hard to leave someone you live with. Turning 30 doesn’t stop you to think for yourself neither do your relatives who can just haw haye but won’t come to you when you really need them. Stop caring about others. Live your life happily! You have every right!