Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
I don't want to argue. We can both provide example after example to prove our points but that is not going to benefit anyone nor do I want to unnecessarily derail someone elses thread. I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else.
Peace.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
My husband isn't like yours so that wouldn't work for us
Exactly!
No woman around here is you and noones husband is like yours. You need to understand your situation and find a way to work around it. Yourself!
Personally I'd just do the cleaning because I don't like clutter myself.. even if it is after a week. No point arguing over something so little when you're in a loving understanding relationship.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
its unacceptable, why is it so hard for some men to clean up after themselves, what sort of example would these men be setting to their kids
The example that my dad set for me. Of a man providing for his family no matter what the circumstances, through thick and thin, even if he went unappreciated for it, of ensuring his family's welfare at any cost, of overlooking his needs for his family, Of making sure his children got the kind of education he couldn't afford. Of being in charge of his family. He couldn't have done any of that without a caring, supporting wife, someone who knew her role. And that right there is equality for you.
I don't recall him ever working around the house, or helping my mom. He is a tough guy, but the only time I saw him shedding a tear was when my mom's test reports were far from ideal. Love doesn't need to be expressed verbally, or with the overly corny surprises you can see in another thread. Actions speak louder than words.
So I don't know what is the point you are trying to make here.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
Exactly!
No woman around here is you and noones husband is like yours. You need to understand your situation and find a way to work around it. Yourself!
Personally I'd just do the cleaning because I don't like clutter myself.. even if it is after a week. No point arguing over something so little when you're in a loving understanding relationship.
Perfect.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
I work to but somehow I can manage to find time to clean up and cook!
Just read that you work also. (This was not clear in post 1.)
This changes the entire equation. If BOTH of you are working, the household chores should be shared. You are not even expecting that. You just expected him to clean up the mess he created while you were sick.
It is sad he is so insensitive. I think he needs to straighten up his act. Much respect to you for putting up with his crap. Hope things get better.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
Okey the problem is this. I was sick for 4 days and had been in my room. When I got a bit better I went to the kitchen. It was like I was in somebody else's kitchen! It was a mess! It was so dirty! Garbage everywhere. Dirty plate, glasses, spoons etc. etc. I mean seriously there wasn't ONE clean thing left not even a knife or spoon! It stank toooo much! Then I went to the living room the same story there dirty clothes mixed with washed clothes which I had left for drying before I got sick was still there! I mean I was in chock! Later on when my husband came back from work I asked him what the hell happened to our home. He was like he will clean it up in the weekend. The weekend went nothing happend. The mess got worse now I was feeling much better but just didn't have strength in me mostly because I had been throwing up. I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I asked my husband why he hadn't cleaned up he said he will do it later i didn't say anything because i didn't had the strength to argue with him I just wanted to make my tea and go to bed but then after a short while he had the nerve to tell me that I should take more responsibility at home because I weren't working at the moment! I mean ok yes I am at home now a days because I am sick but before that our home was spot less! I always kept it clean! But the point is I was sick couldn't clean and he is telling to clean his mess up! Just because I am almost well again he expect me to clean the whole house that he messed up! I felt so hurt and angry. I am his wife not his slave! I don't know how to handle this situation I told him that i won't clean up before he cleans everything up but he haven't done anything always making excuses that he is to tired and in the weekend he don't have time This is going on for a few weeks now and our home doesn't look like a home anymore and he is blaming me for it! I don't want to clean up because I feel like he is using me as his personal maid and not his wife. What should I do give in And clean up? Or be stubborn and don't clean until he does it?
He thinks you're annoying and lazy. Now you want to go 50-50 on household chores and he doesn't have a bit of motivation to help you out. Either that's not his personality or either he really couldn't give two hoots about your (that's exactly what it is to him, your problem) predicament. He is going to let you deal with it and just wants you to stop nagging so he can enjoy a moment of peace in his own house.
But while you figure out what and how to do it, just don't forget to make the half-as$ dinner that you usually make which doesn't at all taste like real food and leave it on the table for him. After that goodnight, he'll talk to you when he needs something again the next time.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
Take money from him and call some cleaning services.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
why do people make such big deal out of something that is so mall in the grand scheme of things?
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
^ I think it is about respect. OP works just as her husband does. She work, comes home, and cooks & cleans everyday. The least her husband can do is pick up the slack when she is sick. The fact he doesn't shows immaturity. The fact that he doesn't do it after OP communicates she prefers the home clean is much more serious. It shows a lack of respect for her. And that is no small matter.
Haats off to OP for being a good soldier most of the time.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
I find it interesting that a lot of posters assume that whoever the OP is must be a Muslim.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
Okey the problem is this. I was sick for 4 days and had been in my room. When I got a bit better I went to the kitchen.
what kind of sickness was this? :\ tropical troll fever?
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
Maybe I missed it but who assumed that OP is Muslim? OP has mentioned in other threads that her husband is Pakistani Muslim. I see people bringing up Islamic examples to support their own personal views in this thread (which is expected if the posters themselves are Muslim), but I didn’t see any posts where assumptions are being made about OP’s religious beliefs. 
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
He thinks you're annoying and lazy. Now you want to go 50-50 on household chores and he doesn't have a bit of motivation to help you out. Either that's not his personality or either he really couldn't give two hoots about your (that's exactly what it is to him, your problem) predicament. He is going to let you deal with it and just wants you to stop nagging so he can enjoy a moment of peace in his own house.
But while you figure out what and how to do it, just don't forget to make the half-as$ dinner that you usually make which doesn't at all taste like real food and leave it on the table for him. After that goodnight, he'll talk to you when he needs something again the next time.
WOW that is brutal. im surprised OP hasn't responded to this yet.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
This isn't about gender roles really. It's about courtesy and affection for your spouse. Even if OP was a homemaker, it's pretty nasty to leave all the housework for her when she's sick.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
well he apparently took such good care of her when she was sick, she didnt even have to leave her room for 4 days. i think he deserves something special. like a wife who doesnt whine on an online forum about him.
even if he is imaginary and OP may be a pimply teen. :\ he deserves a hug from us all.
[quote="Scherbatsky, post:38, topic:281352"]
He thinks you're annoying and lazy. Now you want to go 50-50 on household chores and he doesn't have a bit of motivation to help you out. Either that's not his personality or either he really couldn't give two hoots about your (that's exactly what it is to him, your problem) predicament. He is going to let you deal with it and just wants you to stop nagging so he can enjoy a moment of peace in his own house.
But while you figure out what and how to do it, just don't forget to make the half-as$ dinner that you usually make which doesn't at all taste like real food and leave it on the table for him. After that goodnight, he'll talk to you when he needs something again the next time.
WOW that is brutal. im surprised OP hasn't responded to this yet.
[/QUOTE]
There is no reason to respond to stupid post by someone who properly only are saying this because he/she is behind a screen and knows that he/she can get away with being rude or maybe he/she are just bored? By the way I have read comments from him before on other treads and found out he/she just like to write rude stuff
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
There is no reason to respond to stupid post by someone who properly only are saying this because he/she is behind a screen and knows that he/she can get away with being rude or maybe he/she are just bored? By the way I have read comments from him before on other treads and found out he/she just like to write rude stuff
WOW that is brutal. im surprised OP hasn't responded to this yet.
There. That should be more to your satisfaction now.
Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality
I like you robin. :D