advise needed on my husbands mentality

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Waz thinking same. Like ...tried to quote sara with getting a maid....

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Personally I don't think cleaning is the issue. I think u both have deeper underlying issues that your both not confronting. Either get that sorted or move on!! I did when same issue happend to me. Petty **** (stuff that in loving relationships wouldn't normally matter) kept happening because we had much bigger issues that either I acceepted and lived with for the rest of my life or I moved on. Good luck in confronting and dealing with those issues.

23

Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

you should talk to him and divide the chores. Also explain him about what you feel when he has time to listen you, may be weekend is good for that.

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My health issue isn't the problem and I am not getting into why I couldn't get out of the bed
On Thursday and Friday he ate takeout and Saturday and Sunday he cooked something I Couldn't eat only drink a little.

25

My husband isn't like yours so that wouldn't work for us

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I stopped reading after that
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I work to but somehow I can manage to find time to clean up and cook!

27

advise needed on my husbands mentality

I stopped reading after that
[/QUOTE]

I work to but somehow I can manage to find time to clean up and cook!

28

Maybe you are right but that doesn't mean that we have to live in a mess

29

I Think I will Do that don't want to argue all the time about cleaning

30

Read to sara516 suggestion it makes sense to me but I wonder how are you leaving in the house so dirty ?

31

advise needed on my husbands mentality

Its clean now i couldn't live in dirt!

32

Thanks for this great idea. since he is always comparing me to his mom i will do as his mom does i will hire a maid. I already began researching for maids

33

Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

^ Good for you. I hope he doesn't start arguing about not being able to afford one but in case he does then thats when you tell him that when he stops complaining about the food you cook him then thats when you'll stop complaining (if u dont then start. lol) that he doesn't earn enough to afford a maid like his father did for his mother. Lol just a suggestion. Erm btw do you have kids?

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

A dutiful wife doth not a maid make.

What is wrong with you women? The guy works to provide for his wife. My mom had a job, and she would still do all the work around the house. She has no regrets, never complained. Did it make my mom a maid? When did God stop making these angels. And seriously? A wife should now be paid to work in her own home? Wow. It's this BS precisely, that makes me never want to get married.

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Why bother responding to a thread when you obv haven't bothered to read the main post!! If you would have read it u would know that actually She does work and cook and clean but would it honestly kill him to clean while she is Sick???????????????????? Would it kill him to not complain about her cooking every time?? And in case you don't know already FYI and you may not like this but our Prophet always helped out in the house when he was home. There is nothing to say a man must not clean up after himself especially when his wife is SICK!!!!!!

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Oh I read the main post, as hard as it was to read. But maybe you didn't read my post. I was replying to the posters who implied that working for her husband would make her a maid. In fact I highlighted what I was replying to, so people wouldn't have problem comprehending, but I may have overestimated your intelligence.

Ah. Another day another example of the Prophet. Do you really want to go there? He had more than 10 wives. Will you or the sick girl here let your husband have 10 more wives? And there is a also hadith in Sahih Muslim where He hit Ayesha in the chest. So you fine with getting hit as well. Right?

37

Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Spme people are so harsh

its unacceptable, why is it so hard for some men to clean up after themselves, what sort of example would these men be setting to their kids

Our beloved Prophet saw used to help in house chores and thats not even the point if u cant clean up after yourself dont make thr bloody mess! I mean seriously its just common courtesy and hygiene, you wouldnt leave wrappers on the floor at a friends house so y do it in ur own home

husband and wife r meant to b a partnership, the home is meant to be both their responsibility and in this situation u always did the cleaning before u got sick so a couple of days of keeping the hs in order wudnt hurt him- u hv a right to b upset x

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Dopplekopf I hope your not implying that our prophet peace be upon him was a violent man? The reason to PUSH her hard on the chest and NOT HIT her hard on the chest* was to ward off the evil of wrong thoughts that entered in her mind. This is proven in another incident here.....
“Ubbay said: There occurred in my mind a sort of denial which did not occur even during the Days of Ignorance. When the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him, saw how I was affected, was affected (by a wrong idea), he struck my chest. I broke into a sweat and felt as if I were looking at Allah in fear.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1356)
Clearly the Prophet, may Allah bless him, did it to ward off the evil thoughts that occurred in the mind of Ubayy, may Allah be pleased with him

So yeh If I was to start being suspicious of my husband of anything for no apparent reason and he found out that I started following him then yes I would expect him to be cross with me, even angry but not HIT me because that is NOT what the prophet did as in proven in this quote..........

*“Aisha reported that Allah's Messenger, may Allah bless him, never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, but only, in the case when he had been fighting in the cause of Allah …” *(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 4296

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Nope, never implied that He was a violent man. If He hit Ayesha or pushed her hard as you put it, then it must have been for a good reason. I am not too religious, and I know better than bringing up religion to justify my opinion. You unfortunately did that, using Prophet (pbuh), as an example for men, and to justify your stance. But you didn't think this one through. But hey if that is how you want to play, who am I to disappoint you.

He had multiple wives, would you be fine with your husband having multiple wives? Would you be fine with your husband pushing you hard on the chest? Sure He must have helped around the house, and it's perfectly fine with me, but is it strictly an obligation? And finally this is from Quran (4:43):

"Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

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Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

Some people only bring religion where it suits them :)