advise needed on my husbands mentality

[Scherbatsky]

Re: advise needed on my husbands mentality

@thedoer

Okey the problem is this. I was sick for 4 days and had been in my room. When I got a bit better I went to the kitchen. It was like I was in somebody else’s kitchen! It was a mess! It was so dirty! Garbage everywhere. Dirty plate, glasses, spoons etc. etc. I mean seriously there wasn’t ONE clean thing left not even a knife or spoon! It stank toooo much! Then I went to the living room the same story there dirty clothes mixed with washed clothes which I had left for drying before I got sick was still there! I mean I was in chock!
Later on when my husband came back from work I asked him what the hell happened to our home. He was like he will clean it up in the weekend.
The weekend went nothing happend. The mess got worse now I was feeling much better but just didn’t have strength in me mostly because I had been throwing up. I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I asked my husband why he hadn’t cleaned up he said he will do it later i didn’t say anything because i didn’t had the strength to argue with him I just wanted to make my tea and go to bed but then after a short while he had the nerve to tell me that I should take more responsibility at home because I weren’t working at the moment! I mean ok yes I am at home now a days because I am sick but before that our home was spot less! I always kept it clean!
But the point is I was sick couldn’t clean and he is telling to clean his mess up! Just because I am almost well again he expect me to clean the whole house that he messed up! I felt so hurt and angry. I am his wife not his slave!
I don’t know how to handle this situation I told him that i won’t clean up before he cleans everything up but he haven’t done anything always making excuses that he is to tired and in the weekend he don’t have time
This is going on for a few weeks now and our home doesn’t look like a home anymore and he is blaming me for it!
I don’t want to clean up because I feel like he is using me as his personal maid and not his wife. What should I do give in And clean up? Or be stubborn and don’t clean until he does it?

He thinks you’re annoying and lazy. Now you want to go 50-50 on household chores and he doesn’t have a bit of motivation to help you out. Either that’s not his personality or either he really couldn’t give two hoots about your (that’s exactly what it is to him, your problem) predicament. He is going to let you deal with it and just wants you to stop nagging so he can enjoy a moment of peace in his own house.

But while you figure out what and how to do it, just don’t forget to make the half-as$ dinner that you usually make which doesn’t at all taste like real food and leave it on the table for him. After that goodnight, he’ll talk to you when he needs something again the next time.