If you get a rishta and you dont like him, but your parents do; please find a way to let your parents know so they can refuse straight away or make an excuse. Dont string the guy along. Dont let them string him along hoping that someday you will change your mind, and months go by but nothing changes.
If the guy is on a ‘maybe’ for you, then DO SOMETHING to screen him and figure out whether you will be happy with him. Talk to him, be socially assertive or use your friends, whatever.
But please dont just ignore him or act indifferent for months on end, whilst your parents are acting like everything is going fine.
I think most guys would rather hear a rejection up front rather than spend ages thinking about/chasing a girl AND then get rejected.
If you get a rishta and you dont like him, but your parents do; please find a way to let your parents know so they can refuse straight away or make an excuse. Dont string the guy along. Dont let them string him along hoping that someday you will change your mind, and months go by but nothing changes.
If the guy is on a 'maybe' for you, then DO SOMETHING to screen him and figure out whether you will be happy with him. Talk to him, be socially assertive or use your friends, whatever.
But please dont just ignore him or act indifferent for months on end, whilst your parents are acting like everything is going fine.
I think most guys would rather hear a rejection up front rather than spend ages thinking about/chasing a girl AND then get rejected.
You have to empathize with the girls situation. Try to understand their dillemma if the proposal they receive is of a well settled, shareef larka but they dont like his face . Its not easy to reject him because "achhay rishtay milna boht mushkil hotain hain aaj kal"
Awww, sorry if this happened to you. But its true, its sooo hard for girls to say no based on something that is deemed as unimportant in the eyes of parents!
Anyways, you seem like a really sweet and thoughtful guy who deserves good things. InshAllah, the right girl will come along who will love you for YOU! :)
It's not difficult, if they can do it so close to the wedding or in the end then they could do it Tim the beginning. They're just doing drama, should get a taste of their own medicine.
Awww, sorry if this happened to you.** But its true, its sooo hard for girls to say no based on something that is deemed as unimportant in the eyes of parents!**
Anyways, you seem like a really sweet and thoughtful guy who deserves good things. InshAllah, the right girl will come along who will love you for YOU! :)
Yeah, it's easier said than done but they should at least try..
For the girls, its a difficult predicament when you're being pushed by parents to consider a rishta they consider perfect. You cannot openly say "no" because the reason is superficial (no matter what it is) according to families.
Equally applies to men. No need to string along the girl's family if you are going to say no, or back out at the last moment and in worse cases, divorcing just after marriage.
It wasn't meant to be. U shouldn't be a consilation prize for some girl. there are plenty of girls who would regard you highly. Advise for both guys and girls don't go after guys or gals who wouldn't seriously consider you as a spouse no matter how much the parents like you.
Dude be happy, I know people stuck in loveless marriages for years, don't ever go for a girl that has to think a lot to decide if u r her beau, if you don't take her breath away and she doesn't drive you insane than that is he wrong bus for you. My X's younger sister dated this guy for nine years, he converted his faith for her, they spent 40K for wedding and got cold feet and jilted him on the Altar.
Sometimes parents advise you to keep your options open. They'll see 2-3 rishtas and rank them in order of preference. So you might be #3 in their list but until they have the final word from #1 and 2, they might string you along anyway because it's the safer option.
Sorry that you had to go through this. Unfortunately, it happens to a lot of people...girls and guys both.
It wasn't meant to be. Everything happens for a reason in life. I know you're crushed right now because you were strung along and you're just thinking how other desis can be so callous,arrogant, and cruel but now you're available for someone outstanding and probably 10 times better just don't rush into another rishta feeling low and on the rebound because you're feeling emotionally down right now and dejected. See this as a learning experience and be very cautious the next time keeping the red flags in mind and not getting emotionally invested until after the wedding when it's a done deal.
On second thoughts....STALK THE HELL OUT OF HER...chase all her Rishtas away dude...jk jk...just kidding....guys don't do this to yourself...go out there find your own girls, hold her hand, stand up straight in front of your and her parents and tell them that you would like to invite them to your wedding....I did that, I tell you they were pissed, but we are happier than anyone I know..one day you got to wear the big boy pants.