Guys, I’m in a quandary which is really affecting me since I wanted to look a particular way when i got married. I had envisaged the style of clothes and jewellery. Then my mom went to Pakistan in November 2008 where she bought me 5 wonderful (medium and small sized) gold jewelery sets. She also bought me a Large bridal Ruby & Cubic Zircon Set which is beautiful but unfortunately doesn’t suit me at all. It would suit someone young and delicate. It has too much sparkle for my liking and no matter how much I try to bond with it my heart sinks when i see it.
I’m a mature girl and definitely would not have chosen what my mom bought me. Considering she spent so much money I feel guilty that this one bridal set is not to my liking. It’s 17 Tola’s including the necklace, earrings and tikka from Jewellers in Lahore. I am thinking of modifying it (it’s the necklace that I don’t like which is in a V shape) to make it to my liking but this will cost more money and will take time to do. The other option is to go to Pakistan and exchange it for something else.
I don’t want to be ungrateful but my mom went ahead despite me begging her to at least send me a picture of the set she was choosing. She was rushed for time and as a result, I think she made a huge mistake. It’s too sparkly and shiny and I am a introvert it just doesn’t suit at all. I’d appreciate your advice on how I can exchange it or sell it or what your experiences are.
i'd say modify it! that way its a compromise between what you want, and what your mom bought for you. i would do this in pakistan, not from abroad. but having said that, if while you're there you spot something you like better, go ahead and exchange it. i'm sure your mom will understand- after all, its your wedding day and your wedding set and she wants you to be happy! :)
Hi Guys, thanks for the advice. SGC you're right she wants me to be happy. Problem is that she loves it and keeps saying she doesnt see anything wrong with it. Arghhhhhh!
Since it arrived with my mom on 23 December 2008, I have been trying it on weekly, trying to get myself to like it. I was even wearing it today in my bedroom with the tikka and earrings (they are gorgeous), makeup, lengha colours when my mom went out. The necklace was making my stomach churn. I just hate the shape. I want to wear something classic that won't look badly dated in years time.
My Digital Camera has gone on Vacation with my cousin. I’ll post the picture as soon as I can. But you can see an example of it. Mine is in rubies minus 2 rows from the top (my mom had the size reduced). It almost sits like a plate.
i was in the same situation as u my mom got me a gold set from dubai about 2-3 yrs ago and it was all gold its one of those big sets tht cant be worn alone by itself bc it hangs from ur neck all the way to the chest area...all i ever wanted to wear was one set tht matched my wedding day suit and was close to my neck and continously forced my mom to sell tht one set and tht i was only going to wear one set and not 2 as i was getting ready to go to pakistan with my mom just a few months ago two days before our flight i just happened to wear the set right b4 my mom was about to pack the set away i changed my mind and decided i was goign to wear 2 sets just for her bc i knew how much it meant to her and it didnt really look as bad as i thought it did a year ago
I still took the set to pakistan and got it modified since it was all yellow i wanted it to have the color of my bridal outfit so i got the matching beads set in the set which are also the same same beads set in the 2nd small set the will be close to neck.
overall i completely understand where ure coming from but if u really dont like it too much just take it to pakistan they can probably take out some of the sparkley things and add sum of the colors of ur dress to take out its shinyness...if u want u can post pic of it and if sum of us can com up with some ideas maybe we can help u or u can totally exchange it for something diff. if u think there no chance ull end up liking it eve if its modified. btw if u get the beads changed or a minor change its not tht expensive to do tht in pakistan comparing it to how i got mine done. i owuld post pix of mine but mine is in the safe deposit box!!
I think you should go for what's comfortable for you and makes you happy.. even if it means exchanging it for something that suits you. Your wedding day will stay with you for the rest of your life.
Hi RSheikh, It's good you were able to modify it. I bet it made a difference to how you felt about it.
What I am planning on getting done is actually taking away the V section (hope you can see what it looks like above) and making it into a round necklace with the rubies hanging all the way around (as it is on the sides).
Also, I might ask them to remove the excess zircon and replace with more rubies so that it looks a bit less jazzy.
Having seen an example of the set above what do you guys reckon?
I think you should go for what's comfortable for you and makes you happy.. even if it means exchanging it for something that suits you. Your wedding day will stay with you for the rest of your life.
You're so right. I think that when i go to Pakistan, I will check out the designs and then make a decision.
Funny thing is, I haven't seen my lengha yet either (thats another story) so once I see it I can visualize what the set should be like.
Hi RSheikh, It's good you were able to modify it. I bet it made a difference to how you felt about it.
What I am planning on getting done is actually taking away the V section (hope you can see what it looks like above) and making it into a round necklace with the rubies hanging all the way around (as it is on the sides).
Also, I might ask them to remove the excess zircon and replace with more rubies so that it looks a bit less jazzy.
Having seen an example of the set above what do you guys reckon?
i think its a great idea by getting the V shape out but if you want it to look a but less chunky or tht wide u can even take it to the next level and get the 1st layer of the circle thts right above the V taken out and then have the rubies added to it. pic's a bit small so i cant see too much detail in or on the set
i think its a great idea by getting the V shape out but if you want it to look a but less chunky or tht wide u can even take it to the next level and get the 1st layer of the circle thts right above the V taken out and then have the rubies added to it. pic's a bit small so i cant see too much detail in or on the set
Hiya, yes, that's exactly what I am wanting to get done :) away with the V and away with 2 levels above it - so that I am left with two strips and will add staggered rubies to that to give it a slightly jagged appearence as I hate the 'block' look of it.
i was in the same situation as u my mom got me a gold set from dubai about 2-3 yrs ago and it was all gold its one of those big sets tht cant be worn alone by itself bc it hangs from ur neck all the way to the chest area...all i ever wanted to wear was one set tht matched my wedding day suit and was close to my neck and continously forced my mom to sell tht one set and tht i was only going to wear one set and not 2 as i was getting ready to go to pakistan with my mom just a few months ago two days before our flight i just happened to wear the set right b4 my mom was about to pack the set away i changed my mind and decided i was goign to wear 2 sets just for her bc i knew how much it meant to her and it didnt really look as bad as i thought it did a year ago
I still took the set to pakistan and got it modified since it was all yellow i wanted it to have the color of my bridal outfit so i got the matching beads set in the set which are also the same same beads set in the 2nd small set the will be close to neck.
overall i completely understand where ure coming from but if u really dont like it too much just take it to pakistan they can probably take out some of the sparkley things and add sum of the colors of ur dress to take out its shinyness...if u want u can post pic of it and if sum of us can com up with some ideas maybe we can help u or u can totally exchange it for something diff. if u think there no chance ull end up liking it eve if its modified. btw if u get the beads changed or a minor change its not tht expensive to do tht in pakistan comparing it to how i got mine done. i owuld post pix of mine but mine is in the safe deposit box!!
Did you post your bridal pics on GS?
Also, did you manage to get exactly what you wanted for your walima?
^ not married yet soon I'A just went to Pakistan in Dec and did wedding shopping i did post a pic of my wedding day lehnga's dubatta it was lite green and red dunno if u rem or saw...no my in soon to be inlaws are planning to make a trip to pakistan in a few months and they will get my valima day outfit and jewlery im keeping my fingers crossed i want to give them a pic of wut i may want but i dont know if tht will work...i already had an issue with the eng. day outfit and feel so guilty for being so picky...thy bought me a dress and i didnt like it so they placed an order for a 2nd outfit and i dont think they are pissed but dont want them to think tht im picky and demanding so im hoping i can expain my soon to be SIL the kind of valima dress i pic wearing and hopefully I'A i will end up liking it!!
^ not married yet soon I'A just went to Pakistan in Dec and did wedding shopping i did post a pic of my wedding day lehnga's dubatta it was lite green and red dunno if u rem or saw...no my in soon to be inlaws are planning to make a trip to pakistan in a few months and they will get my valima day outfit and jewlery im keeping my fingers crossed i want to give them a pic of wut i may want but i dont know if tht will work...i already had an issue with the eng. day outfit and feel so guilty for being so picky...thy bought me a dress and i didnt like it so they placed an order for a 2nd outfit and i dont think they are pissed but dont want them to think tht im picky and demanding so im hoping i can expain my soon to be SIL the kind of valima dress i pic wearing and hopefully I'A i will end up liking it!!
I don't remember seeing it, I think after the bridal picture's thread my head is spinning :) Let me know which thread it's on if you get a chance.
I think giving them a pic is a very very good idea. They will appreciate it and you will be happy knowing you will look lovely on the day. Don't feel guilty, they need to get it right! Good for stating what you want, at least you can wear the other outfit another time or they can give it away to someone.
Good luck with it all turning out good. When is your shaadi?
^ lol i know...way too many pics posted there well i did have it up but then took it down after a day or so didnt want to keep it up for too long...and i am going to give them a pic so they can get close to wut i want if not exactly--i had to tell them tht i didnt like the eng outfit bc in didnt want to feel uncofortable and be upset on my eng. and i didnt wnat to lie tht i liked it either so told them wut thought of it. well my wedding was at 1st scheduled for aug. then changed to dec. now i think delayed til march im not even paying attention to when its going to be all i know is tht im ready!! got all my clothes and things ready so im just waiting for the official date but eng. is the last week of march.
Thanks for the kind wishes...so when's ur big day?? do have ur valima dress and jewelry?
A couple years before my wedding my mom got me a ruby and gold set for my wedding. The earrings are gorgeous triple jhumkas and a pretty karra and teeka to match.
And she had a necklace made in the shape of a pendant with a huge thing at the center.
I hated the necklace. I told her I didn't like it when I first saw it. She actually decided to keep it for herself as she really liked it (she rarely buys anything for herself, so it actually worked out well) and she and my nani designed a different necklace for me instead.
I actually hated the set that I got for my wedding, it was just shaped weirdly plus it was a two-piece, choker and necklace. BUT there was no other option. now that I look at it , esp in pics, its jsut so nice, and knowing that it was my fathers choice, its so unique and nice.
