Re: advice please?
angel1981, no one is in a better situation than yourself to understand your circumstances. No offense to anyone, but most of the advices here are worth dragging directly to Trash Bins. To others my words will look the same. But anyways!
By reading your words, it seems you are making as much effort to make your marriage work as he is. For only a few, marriage works right from the start and even then there are extreme ups and downs. "The one out there" does not exist. For marriage to work, you need to work on it. In almost all marriages, one of the partners has to work more to make the marriage work.
I think, even for one who think that his/her marriage is a happy marriage, it is because his/her partner is doing more than her/his share.
It appears that both of you are over-whelmed by the complexity of the relationship. In our society, we are not experienced in understanding gender relationships. It takes some time getting used to it.