Okay Listen Pyari,
Soooo many people that responded to your thread told you to get parents involved right? We all told you to have YOUR MOM talk to his MOM right? NONE of us told you to go tell the ideas we're giving you to HIM. NONE of us told you to go consult matters with HIM. And you know why? Because we all know that GUYS don't understand how delicate a girl's reputation is in Pakistan. Guys don't get it! That's why we told you to let your parents handle all this.
This guy's EGO is offended because you asked him to ask your hand in a SHAREEF and RESPECTABLE manner. I'm sorry sweetie, but that's not a good sign. This guy wants you to follow his mom's orders (ridiculous orders by the way).....so how is he going to treat you after marriage.........will he be able to stand up for you if his mom treats you wrong cuz right now mom seems shady.
Your mom should have called the guy's mom and said "Listen, my daughter tells me that you wanted to invite her to your home by herself. I would prefer that we all meet each other formally. I would like to invite you for lunch/dinner to my home. It would be a great oppurtunities for our families to meet."
^ That is what SHOULD have been done. Rather than telling they guy what to do. You should have let your mom take care of it. And that way IF HIS MOM REJECTS YOUR MOM'S INVITATION.......then that means that THE GUY"S MOM AND HIM ARE NOT WORTH IT! IF THEY ARE GENUINELY INERESTED, THEY WILL ACCEPT THE INVITATION AND COME TO YOUR HOUSE. IT"S THAT SIMPLE.
Your guy is really naieve, Pyari. He doesn't understand how Pakistani society works. I mean he has TWO sisters. How would HE feel if some guy told HIS sister to come chasing after him for a proposal? How would HE feel if some guy refused to propose his sister in the proper and respectful way (by coming to the sister's house)? How would HIS MOM feel if a guy told HER DAUGTER to come running after him for a proposal? I bet you the mom wouldn't accept that at all.
The guy is telling you that his mom wants him to get married and that there are soooo many other girls to be considered. So, tell me Pyari.......Is the mom going to make ALL OF THOSE GIRLS come to her house by themselves WITHOUT their parents? Is that how she is going to treat EVERY GIRL.......or has she reserved this SPECIAL TREATMENT only for you?
The people responding to this thread really care about you and we're giving you advice that will protect you and your family's reputation. The rule about the guy going to the girl's home for a proposal is NOT JUST A DESI RULE!!!!!!!! Even in American culture......the GUY asks for the girls hand....and will formally ask for the girl's hand in marriage. That's such a basic thing.
Why is this guy so upset about going to your home and asking your hand formally? If this guy is sincerely interested in you............coming to your house with his family WOULD NEVER BE A PROBLEM.
Okay, Pyari, this is what you need to do. Right now you and the guy just had a bitter argument. You need to wait for him to call you. Don't be desperate and call him okay? Because that will give him more power and an ego boost. If this guy LOVES you and WANTS TO MARRY YOU.....he will call you back first and tell you that he's willing to do anything to marry you......even if that means coming to your house and proposing formally. But you dont' call him and don't beg him.
The next step is for you to TELL YOUR MOM EVERYTHING!!!!!! Tell your mom how aunti wanted to invite you alone. Tell your mom about the recent conversation you had with the guy and then ur mom can tell you her opinion about the guy. She's older than you and has more experience. I wouldn't be surprised if your mom tell you to wait for the guy to call you first. OR your mom might decide to talk to the guy's mom herself and clear the air. BUT NOTHING SHOULD BE INITIATED BY YOU. Okay? This is my strong opinion.
i told her, she said she will talk 2 him and explain the issue as soon as he calls again. loll i didnt call him back, he has called me but i just didnt pick up bcaz i had nothing to say to him. my mom feels hesistant now towards them, now it all depends how she feels when his family COMES over to our house =)