I’m in the us and my husband is in pakistan. For the past 3 years we have been stuck in administrative processing. I even went to his interview for a visa. I guess its name checking. Anyway, he now wants me to give up my job, and move to pakistan and live with him, until he gets his visa. The thing is that he wants me to come in may. My job announces promotions July 1. If I quit with a manager title, it will be alot easier for me to get a job when I come back to the US. Also,I wont have to spend another 5 years trying for it. Obviously, its not certain what my job will announce, I mean I could get a better title or stay the same. However, I just don’t want to think for the rest of my life, what could have happened.
The thing is my job sucks but so does my husband. So I would rather like be married/have a kid rather than be like 100% career. So I dont even mind leaving at this point, as im 28 and he is 35. So I want a kid before im 30.
I have sufficient savings to live off of when we both do come back. I already have a house and the money I have would be enough to live off of for a year or two even if we both didnt work.
My thing is when I asked to come in september he said no, only May. At this point im really giving up everything, so its like wtf, atleast give me a few months.
Does anyone have an idea on how to make him let me come later? He doesnt give a crap about my job, so I dont think he will care about promotion. Actually he blames me for him being held back in his career because his visa is taking time.
Before you do all that moving talk to a lawyer and see if you can file a case on his behalf over here, a writ of mandamus may help move the process faster.
for someone so financially stable im really surprised it has taken this long. i havnt heard any one of my husbands friends who had to wait three years. it usually goes pretty fast under a spouse sponsorship. ^ agreed, talk to a lawyer about the immigration.
Before you do all that moving talk to a lawyer and see if you can file a case on his behalf over here, a writ of mandamus may help move the process faster.
Can you please tell me what this is? and how to do it, how long it takes. I would really appreciate your response
Ugh....why, as a professional woman, would you marry a guy from back there.
Why is he so adamant on May? Why not September?
You said your job sucks, but so does your husband? He blames you for holding him back. He doesn't care about your job or ambitions or whatever.
So....why do you want to throw away your career and have a baby with him?
Also, can you do my taxes?
Ive seen women who are all career at my job. They are directors and heavy managers, some even partners. They are very successful/smart/ well paid and they are always sad when they see other women pregnant, and realize they're over the age to really start a family. Some have even told me themselves that its late for them to start and it sucks but what can they do.
I used to think yea career is everything. but it really isnt, theres going to be a point where your gonna go home and be by urself. I would rather have both a job and family. but if i have to choose, i would chose family over job.
I know he values me, he wants a family, and wants me to live there with him.
Then you should try talking to him about waiting a few months (to get a clear idea about this promotion) as this would be good for you guys when you return to US. He would have to upgrade his qualifications/experience initially to settle in US and at that time you would be in a better position to support the family till he stabilises.
Ive seen women who are all career at my job. They are directors and heavy managers, some even partners. They are very successful/smart/ well paid and they are always sad when they see other women pregnant, and realize they're over the age to really start a family. Some have even told me themselves that its late for them to start and it sucks but what can they do.
I used to think yea career is everything. but it really isnt, theres going to be a point where your gonna go home and be by urself. I would rather have both a job and family. but if i have to choose, i would chose family over job.
No I agree career is not everything, but it sure as hell trumps being in an unhappy relationship with someone.
First you said that he sucks, and that he doesn't care about your career, but then you said he does value you?
Are you sure it's because he really values YOU or because "eh might as well?" Same for you, do you really like him, value him or is it because your clock is ticking?
Ive seen women who are all career at my job. They are directors and heavy managers, some even partners. They are very successful/smart/ well paid and they are always sad when they see other women pregnant, and realize they're over the age to really start a family. Some have even told me themselves that its late for them to start and it sucks but what can they do.
I used to think yea career is everything. but it really isnt, theres going to be a point where your gonna go home and be by urself. I would rather have both a job and family. but if i have to choose, i would chose family over job.
I worked for one of the major audit/consulting firms. there were plenty of senior managers, principals and partners who were women and had a family.
the ability to balance is the key.
Can you please tell me what this is? and how to do it, how long it takes. I would really appreciate your response
a write of mandamus is essentially a lawsuit against CIS, dept of state, and all involved to make a decision. The decision may not be a 'yes' ...they may come back with a 'No' but it essentially forces them to sort the mess out and not drag things on any further.
I would suggest you look up some immigration lawyers in your area, google if you must and go talk to them about your case. consultation is usually free and they can tell you if that is an option.
I personally think..it is quiet stupid to leave your job and spend time with him. As someone said..take vacation and come back. Insha'Allah eventually..both of you'll be together. Tell him to be patient.
No I agree career is not everything, but it sure as hell trumps being in an unhappy relationship with someone.
First you said that he sucks, and that he doesn't care about your career, but then you said he does value you?
Are you sure it's because he really values YOU or because "eh might as well?" Same for you, do you really like him, value him or is it because your clock is ticking?
I worked for one of the major audit/consulting firms. there were plenty of senior managers, principals and partners who were women and had a family.
the ability to balance is the key.
I work for EY, the thing is everyone is different, some husbands are really supportive. Some aren't, I got stuck with someone who wasn't supportive. Jewish/Indian husbands are really supportive, but Pakistani's usually are not.
I work for EY, the thing is everyone is different, some husbands are really supportive. Some aren't, I got stuck with someone who wasn't supportive. Jewish/Indian husbands are really supportive, but Pakistani's usually are not.
EY is a great company, known as one of the best places o work, and I believe ranked among the top places for working mothers. I was at Arthur Andersen in early days of my career. I was just responding to your point about senior managers and partners wishing they had a family but it is too late. it is individual, they did not balance right, and in your case if your husband is not supportive then regardless of how work-life balance friendly the company is or how much you can balance the two, it doesnt really matter if the spouses cant be in agreement and be supportive.