okie when you like somone but you are unsure were this relation is going to go and you both need time…as you dont want to make any rash desicions:halo: about your lives you’ve only asked your parents for a bit off time which is then answered by nope becouse then you cant meet that person…however you agree to be engaged but then yet again your told that…well nope you cant meet as your not married (nikka) therefore “Poeple will talk”. now then you are approached with this question…
in todays society although we are calling our selfs open “minded” and “modern” why are our buzurg bande still taking into acount of what the so cold “people” say
i mean i beleive people are going to talk if you do right or wrong so we should live our lives as we see fit:halo:
(if any of you have zoned out by now then am sorry but promise after i get my answer you’ll can start phloooding:D)
however is it really for the sake of the “izat”??
if parents really trust their children then why dont they give them this chance:)
pls Disscuss:)
and if you see any spelling mistakes i cant spell:p
Re: Advice chahiye..........(yeh i dunno what am thinking by posting this here)
Personally I don't know why our parents care so much about what the next person is gna say or think! I mean in this day and age,,........i dunno,...........but I do suppose they don't want anyone talking abt thei rkids,....but stick izzat!
hmmm well once uve ure own kids who're jumping into all this, ull understand..... ;) n that's wat my folks tell me!
i always wasnt very receptive towards it however now, i guess ive matured n been there done that, ill tell u why
well parents do that cuz ofcourse, izzat n all... like they dont wanna hear from an xyz person, ohhhh i saw ur daughter makin out with her fiance'!
cuz see, islamicly, engagements dont count. there's just the nikah n the valima..
engagements are NOT forever binding, more of an indian-inspired excuse for celebrating shaadis, like if ure just engaged to someone, n ure totally gettin along with em, there HAS to be a point when ull want more from the relationship... n once ure there, it really doesnt take too much to get carried away
n god forbid, if the whole thing doesnt come along, smthn happens n the engagement's called off, ure forever stained! perhaps not physically (if u weren't that daring to begin with ;)) however, even emotionally. being physical with someone totalllllllllllllly triggers the emotional attatchment with them, atleast for us women..........
and
other than that, now for the islamic point of view:
it mite be scary but ive read it, and heard it, on tv, and islamic scholars, general readings, in ISLAM, if u get physical with someone who ure not married to, they're made HARAAM for u
and hence, our parents restrictions towards our hangin out with our fiance's/fiancee's too much...... cuz if u cross the line, they're haraam on u, n really....... who would want to get into a haraam relationship for the rest of their lives
im not joking. if u dont believe me, perhaps u shud consult someone in ur family or outside who's knowledgeable over islam :)
oh sorry
i meant to say it figuratively...
made haraam, as in Islam forbids u to marry them, hence, the "theyre made haraam on u...."
and if u do go ahead with the marriage.... well then it's like ure living a haraam life, makin haraab babies...
if u guys are close to ur parents/ mom/dad...... u shud go rite ahead n ask :)
and i believe that is why Islam negates the idea of engagements.. b/c that promotes relationships that could or could not be forever binding..
a nikaah shud be it!!!
but this haram stuff is very new to me…
so if somthing did hapen in that way and that person was made haram for us
why would the islam forbid it:konfused:
ok
everyone's confused down here
wat im trying to say is that islam FORBIDS u to get physical with a person who's NOT ur husband
and SO
if u tend to cross the line with ur fiance (WHO'S NOT UR HUSBAND YET), he gets haraam on u, as in ISLAm forbids u to marry that person
and ISLIYE
u shud watch it while ure engaged........ ;)
and wait until after the nikaah :)
^ Ok then parents should not marry their daughter at soo young age that they wouldn't understand such concepts..
and plus i read somewhere that u can't meet the guy or something.. but islam did allow u to chose a guy of ur own.. Now if u make sense out of it.. how would u choose a guy if u never met him or saw him before.. So tat is why meeting a guy with a purpose to marriage is totally allowed.. but yeah having physical relationship with him is totally not acceptable..
What a load of shh....crap, marriage is a good thing, if a couple do wrong before marriage, then they will be judged by allah, what ever happened to being able to repent & ask forgiveness, no rule is set in stone, allah is mercifull & and if a couple want to get married, regardless of their past mistakes, allah would approve, harram indeed, as for harram babies, all children are born pure, regardless of how they was concieved, they are innocent & can't play any part in any wrong doing, as a woman you should understand that they are the truest diamonds & can never be harram.....thoobah, thoobah, touches left then right ear lobe......spit on the floor....you silly woman!........:)
ok buddy
before twisting religion to suit ur own conveniences, u shud try and stay out of this discussion
and u shud totally try NOT to misread wat's being iterated
my point on being made haraam stays intact
farishta2: the act is not only haraam, that person also gets haraam on u, i repeat myself :)
as in Islam forbids u to do nikaah with that person
id advice all of u who're confused to talk to an elderly person in ur family or just read around
and chacha khan: dude, u shud scroll up n re-read wat i wrote
Islamicly, any kids conceived out of wedlock are haraam,
2ndly, if ure marrying a person who gets haraam on u, (as in u indulge in physical activities with a person ure NOT married to), all the kids ure producing in the run are haraam,
i am NOT drawing a character sketch on innocent little kids...
i am telling u that these kids would be perceived as haraam, since they were conceived from a relationship that was forbidden to u initially
and ofcourse, Allah is ever forgiving, and we all make mistakes, MYSELF INCLUDED.
dont draw conclusions on anyone else's faith!
wow - this is all very new to me too. I had no idea this was the case...
So let me get this straight...if someone was to marry their GF or BF and had a physical relationship with them prior to marriage...then the marriage would be considered haraam?
Also, I know of instances where if a guy and girl are found out, they are expected to get married to the person they were caught sleeping with...
And even if they repent - it is still considered haraam...? Sorry if I am repeating questions but I am just trying to make sense of this...
So let me get this straight...if someone was to marry their GF or BF and had a physical relationship with them prior to marriage...then the marriage would be considered haraam?
Also, I know of instances where if a guy and girl are found out, they are expected to get married to the person they were caught sleeping with...
And even if they repent - it is still considered haraam...? Sorry if I am repeating questions but I am just trying to make sense of this...
marriage is not considered haram.. but any physical relationship prior marriage is considered as Zinnah... And i hope u know wat is the punishment of Zinnah in islam... Doesn't matter if ur planning to marry tat person later in future or no.. But nikkah didn't take place and u were not a husband and wife...
bhenji whats ur basis for saying that its haram to marry the person you have done stuff with? Please quote Ayahs since the prophet(saww) would never make anything haram which Allah has made halal.
Yah I mean most girls end up marrying guys they have done stuff with, as in love marriage...lol...or do stuff with guys and marry sum good innocent guy and vice versa. It is amazing or shocking i shud say how many of these cases occur. It is such a shame.
