you're only 22. what's the hurry? there's plenty of time.
but try to get married before 25 because that's the cutoff. one day over 25 and you'll have gone past your expiry date. but for the next 3 years, enjoy yourself. good luck.
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
Ambassador, its different for desis, because we don't have desi venues really where young people out of school and in grad school or post-grads can meet and mingle. Most cities do not have desi clubbing. Most cities don't even have desi organizations where you can join and meet people. People have their own private circle of friends, and unless your parents have broken through some circles, you likely are hanging out with non-Pakistanis.
Most of my friends, MOST are not muslim. Very few are muslim, and those people I've lost touch with. Then you try to get in touch with people again, and they're all like why is this person posting on my fb wall when I haven't spoken to them in 10 years, or they just don't invite you to their parties. And most parties will be single sex anyway. The girls invite other girls, the boys invite other boys. Very few social groups that are co-ed, and those are mostly university based, and after college is over, everyone disperses and it is hard to meet people.
There are almost no Pakistani professional groups where young working people can meet and mingle. And it's hard to get something like that off the ground, honestly.
you're only 22. what's the hurry? there's plenty of time.
but try to get married before 25 because that's the cutoff. one day over 25 and you'll have gone past your expiry date. but for the next 3 years, enjoy yourself. good luck.
She's a lawyer. Marry her. You can sit at home and throw darts all day.
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
good idea, PCG.
ria, how much do you make? would you be cool with a stay at home bum/husband? if so, I might have a rishta for you...
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
I get the feeling samb is cute too.
that depends on how weak your eyesight is.
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
PyariCgudia, that was also part of my point. Why leave all the jobs for parents to do for you? Being a grown up, it is one's own responsibility to look for a partner for your own life. Sure parents can 'help'. So, in case a grown up girl / guy is having a hard time finding a suitable match, one may 'request' their parents to help them with it. But not talk to khala, taya & make a scene or think parents should be much more 'serious' than they are about getting them a partner for their life too.
I understand there are difficulties just like no job is easy. Growing kids up is not easy either which parents do until the kids mature. Believe me, I have seen some guys at 30+ still living at parents' house expecting their parents to get them married AND support their future wife / family too. Where do these 'duties' of parents end? What's the limit.
Regarding how to go about finding a suitable match, all the people you socialize with from family circle or uni or friends, you can let them know that you are looking & your preferences. If you dont, any other acquaintence may come across someone who matches your criteria & tell you. This is how it works. And believe me, finding the right match is difficult not because you're desi but it is a universal thing. Culture has less to do with that.
LOL Safoori? I'm good Alhamdulillah, and you?
miss you loads :)
jhotiiiiiiiii.. umm did you really?
*faints..lol
Nowhere did I suggest to completely discard her parents advice on the matter. Please read my post clearly. All I am saying is that she is mature enough to do that herself. Nobody is denying to obtain the advice or blessings from the parents.
Also I never talked about any scenario being perfect or imperfect. All I am saying is that after 18, humans are usually mature enough for that. I did not reject the possiility of a wrong choice or decision that is why I also said in my first post that nothing wrong in obtaining their advice on the matter.
My post also suggested the combined approach if possible, however, if someone wants to look for a mate through family members, that is not so bad or wrong either. This does not mean spoon feeding either.
Very very mature and old singles make drastic mistakes when they get married on their own.
Like I said, no approach is the best.
No matter how forward a woman is, she still needs someone else (mostly family member, or a friend) to plant the idea in man's head to propose or waits till the man proposes her out of his own will.
Even in open societies you will not see or hear woman asking man to marry...on ususal basis.
Rare exceptipons do happen and have occured for centuries.
Now, my dear, where did I suggest the women to personally propose guys for marriage? Sure exceptions are there but why did my post sound like that to you?
If the girl does come across a suitable match, she can let her parents or family know of her wish & they can figure out a way. I know from older people that it was not uncommon or look down upon a girl's family / family member informing the guy's family / family member about their interest. Things used to be so simple back then.
Yes, advice, especially, parents' advice is helpful mostly because they have much more experience of life & people than their kids but like I said, in that case, parents can be 'requested' to provide guidence. But not expected to....... blah blah blah..... all that I said in my first post in the thread. It is because as per my personal opinion, 18+ is quite a mature age to sensily perform this job of finding a life partner for one's self & hence should not expect parents to spoon-feed one in this matter of his / her life too.
My post also suggested the combined approach if possible, however, if someone wants to look for a mate through family members, that is not so bad or wrong either.
Like I said, no approach is the best.
No matter how forward a woman is, she still needs someone else (mostly family member, or a friend) to plant the idea in man's head to propose or waits till the man proposes her out of his own will.
Even in open societies you will not see or hear woman asking man to marry...on ususal basis.
Rare exceptipons do happen and have occured for centuries.
Now, my dear, where did I suggest the women to personally propose guys for marriage? Sure exceptions are there but why did my post sound like that to you?
If the girl does come across a suitable match, she can let her parents or family know of her wish & they can figure out a way. I know from older people that it was not uncommon or look down upon a girl's family / family member informing the guy's family / family member about their interest. Things used to be so simple back then.
Yes, advice, especially, parents' advice is helpful mostly because they have much more experience of life & people than their kids but like I said, in that case, parents can be 'requested' to provide guidence. But not expected to....... blah blah blah..... all that I said in my first post in the thread. It is because as per my personal opinion, 18+ is quite a mature age to sensily perform this job of finding a life partner for one's self & hence should not expect parents to spoon-feed one in this matter of his / her life too.
For the first bold sentence, I merely showed you that women still need someone else to move forward in general even in very 'open' cultures. The advice would have been different for a man for obvious reason.
For second bold sentence. I already mentioned in different way that, 18 plus has absolutely no meaning or guarentee when it comes to making such decisions.
To make it simple:
None of the factors such as methods, means, educaion, age etc. carry any credibility or assurance, when it comes to find a mate and good successful married life.
Especially age is the least credible measure of being sensible in relationship.
There are very wise younger individuals and very not so wise older people.
Here the question arise...
So what is credible?
Answer: Ability to conform and adjust to the situation and ready and willing to compromise.
No matter what means one use, willing to compromise is the the ultimate way to achieve marriage and later, a successful married life.
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
Mujhay bhe bachpan saa shaadi kernay ka itnaaaaa shoonkkk tha per . . . 
Shaadi Honay Par Ro Rahe Ho bhai Ya Na Honay Par?
Marriage is a fruit.
One who tasted it and one who never tasted it… …both regret.
Shayr Arz Hai:
Aye Andaleeb Mil Kay Karain Aah Wazarian
Tu Chillaye Haaye Gul, Main Chillaoon Haaye Dil 
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
^ Jub shooonk tha taab nahi howi tu abb kiya faida 
haha do listen to these two 
Original
Funny version
that depends on how weak your eyesight is.
gadhay per dill ajeya to jin kia cheeze hoe us k samnay.
LOL
Liked the second funny song version also and good responses from Hasan Jahangir on it.
Ambassador: I understand what you are saying about finding a suitable match on my own, however, the way I see it is that that's quite impossible. The shareef guys will most likely not partake in getting to know the girl or dating (which I won't do either) etc. Or maybe I just know too many molvi type guys who don't even TALK to girls... and the players will continue to play with no aim at commiting- in the end they will do what their parents want. Hence I find it easier if parents take the initiative and find someone. That way it is most likely all parties are happy and there is no bollywood drama happening. SO my issue is that my parents have so far failed to recognize the need to begin this search.
good idea, PCG.
ria, how much do you make? would you be cool with a stay at home bum/husband? if so, I might have a rishta for you...
Lol I am in my final year of law school and NO I don't want my hubby to be reliant on me. In fact my expectations are probably a tad too high - only doctors, engineers or lawyers need apply.
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
^ All desi men who are doctors are pagal , Engineers are too nerdy , and lawyers are mean .
Re: Advice Needed Regarding Marriage
^^^ phir tu farmars hi reh jate hain!!!
^ All desi men who are doctors are pagal , Engineers are too nerdy , and lawyers are mean .
i want to marry a banker :(