Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
Hmm…since SIL is also sending viber messages to your friend…what if your friend has a nice/friendly chat with the SIL…asks about her kids, her life, idhar udhar ki baatein…just have a genuinely good/fun/relaxed conversation with SIL…and then… maybe your friend could say “y’know I was really excited about sending him this phone…does he even like it? (Feign concern)”…and then SIL will prolly say yeah he loves his phone. Then your friend can say …“Oh phew that’s a relief…i thought maybe he wasnt happy with it because since he has received it he has not called/texted me from this phone.”
^Maybe that’ll get her thinking about things. She honestly may not even be fully aware of how she’s monopolized the phone. Your friend has a good relationship with her SIL…and SIL is also vibering her…so that means she’s cool with your friend…so I doubt there are ill intentions. Your friend can try to give a “hint” to SIL if she thinks it’ll help and won’t hurt relationships. If she thinks it’s too much of a risk…then she should avoid it.
So if the above is too risky…then she should be patient and let things sort themselves out between SIL and her bhai.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
And the guy is absolutely right. They’re engaged but not married. Your friend is not his “family” yet. Its way too early for her to put him in a position where he has to choose between a sibling and her.
I don’t understand why your friend can not communicate with her fiance using Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp, Gmail chat etc? All those are free. I find it ironic that she’s concerned about saving money for their future…and yet drops $650 on a stupid phone when there are so many other ways to communicate with someone overseas for FREE.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
What if the SIL says "no, he doesn't like it."?
"Oh so that's why i haven't received a single call/text from him from this phone. I was wondering about that. I thought it was strange." Maybe SiL will secretly think dang I've been hogging the phone, lol.
I doubt she'd say that her bro doesn't like the phone because she would think that such a response might get back to him and get her (sil) in trouble as well. It was just an idea that popped into my head. Sometimes hints can be given in a friendly non-defensive way....it's one method among several to handle an issue. I also said that if the girl in question thinks it's too risky a strategy, then she should avoid it and just be patient.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
I like this idea…sneaky but polite. I like it a lot actually. If she doesn’t want to try this then I suggest your friend prioritize…what is more important? Communicating with her fiancé using expensive gadgets or saving up for her future? Tell her to stop spending $ on phone calls…let him bear the brunt of it…she isn’t a cash cow where her money is supposed to be paying for her SIL’s expenses…she has her own husband…use his money. Besides…I don’t understand this role reversallllll…what on earth is he good for if he cannot even make a phone call to his fiancé???
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
Your friend is RIGHT. Its not about.... Oh, grow up, its just a mobile!! Its about the GIFT (no matter what is it) which she gave to her fiance for the communicating purpose. Why she spent $650?? its none of OUR business here... she spent because she wanted to, she spent with pure intentions and she spent because definitely she loves him and wants to be in contact with him.
The SIL is being really selfish, she should have not done such a silly mistake. A cellphone is really a personal device, with personal data in it. With personal messages. Ofcourse if the Viber is installed, then TWO vibers cant be installed at the same time. She will definitely be using the same program and that includes messages too.
Its not good for sharing the same cellphone with bro or sis especially when you are married. Its all about privacy. She should understand what kind of communication takes place when two are in love. It was so generous of her to even tolerate how the SIL was using the same device.... and now she has taken it away is such a ridiculous and silly act. She should return it asap.
I dont know why didn't her fiance spoke to his sister, he should.
Exactly right. If the SIL wants to Viber with her hubby in Dubai, she should ask him to get her a smartphone. Not snatch the one her brother received as a gift just 2 days after he got it!!!! Ultimately it's his job to get the phone back from her, but your friend is absolutely right in being upset about it.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
Even if your friend has other options of skyping and facebook, still she has a right to raise the point of how SIL has taken the phone with her.
I am partially agreed with RV. Your friend should speak to her SIL directly but politely. She should let her SIL know, how difficult it is for her to manage calling her bro and she has to spend a lot of money over that, and should politely say... yar I understand your situation but mujhay bhi bohat problem ho rahi hay, kab ja rahi ho ammi ki taraf? just take it in a funny way.... so that SIL will understand her point of view.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
My friend sent him the phone with the intention that they would use it to communicate. He used the phone for 2 days and the nand took it. The nand has two bratty kids who ruined her phone. My friend asked her fiance to get the phone back and told him she is hurt- she works hard and is not made of money so for her to send it to him wasnt just an easy task. The fiance responded with things like "shes my little sister hw can i see tears in her eyes wo zidd kar rahi thi" etc. She is a grown married woman. My friend responded with "what about hw i feel doesnt that matter?" to which he responded that she matters but his family comes first. But my friend bought him the phone for THEIR communication purposes! I feel badly for my friend she is so down and crying about what has occurred. She has stopped eating. Her fiance claims the sister will give it back but my friend seems to think that once shes gotten used to communicating via viber with her hubby shel just do "zidd" again and take it. Meanwhile my friend has to call him from here and she is also meant to be saving for when he gets here to help him settle. It is a mess The nand also keeps vibering my friend with the SAME phone intended for the fiance - the nand is being as friendly as ever but it is annoying my friend further..
the fiance shd call her. it takes 2rs/min to call to uk landline from pakistan. or better still he shd get ufone. they have a 4rs/hr package to uk. also why cant they use skype/fb etc to communicate.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
I have just returned to GS and noticed this thread and some people asking about whether my friend got the phone back or not, so here is an update:
Following all of this, I advised my friend to let him deal with it although she had a right to be upset. So she did. The guy got the phone back but then started asking my friend to send him money...I KID YOU NOT. She (to save her engagement) sent him about $2,000.00 + in the hopes he would start treating her better (my friend is very naive). Anyway following this, one night my friend was at her chachu's place and her viber was playing up. She gets home later that night and when she looks at her phone she sees some very rude viber messages from the nand saying the following:
"maine tumhe phone kia tha tumhe pathaa nahi hai k jab koi call karaye tu phone attend karthaye hain" and "tekh hai main aab nahi tumhe phone karoon ghi'
My friend proceeded to explain that she had been at her chachu's and had not realized the nand had been calling...nand again says "tekh hai but main nahi aab tumhe phone karoon ghi" (big loss) to which my friend finally grew a back bone and said "jaisaye tumhari marzi"
OKAY...then my friend was understandably upset (it was midnight local time) and she told her mother what had happened. Her mum was understandably annoyed....the nand was always also texting when my friend was with family etc and saying "why are u never home"....her mum woke up my friend's father and uncle proceeded to ring the nand and tell her 1) my friend lives under his roof so they dictate what she does and does not do, 2) that there is no shortage of rishtas for my friend and IF they continue to treat her this way and follow her every movement they will break the rishta and 3) to stop annoying my friend. Nand goes into shock (WHO ON EARTH SPEAKS TO THE GUY'S FAMILY THAT WAY? in this case, good on uncle for treating them like that). Ok phone convo ends.
The next day the guy rings my friend AND TELLS HER TO APOLOGISE TO THE NAND and friend is confused and says "why" and he says 'SAY SORRY BECAUSE U DIDNT HEAR UR PHONE AND MISSED HER CALLS"....my friend told him that was ridiculous and she wouldn't be doing it. He then didn't speak to her for 1 week and one night finally calls her and says "i know this rishta could never break" (yeah like he was brad pitt or something) and "tum mere dil saye nikhal gaye hou aab". So my friend, deciding enough is enough, tells her parents she is through and that she is not marrying him. Her dad immediately rings the guy's dad and says its over. They beg and plead (FOR THE VISA CLEARLY NOT FOR MY FRIEND) but a firm no remains. The guy then starts stalking my friend's phone so she changes her number. He then starts stalking her mum's phone. Fast forward 7 months and they continue their stalking. He also (before he knew she would end it) told her that her family didnt give enough at the engagement (when in actual fact they gave TOO MUCH)...so really they were just greedy.
I cannot believe some people! But I am glad she got out of it.
Re: Advice needed for a friend! Fiance/Mobile Phone
And listen if anyone has 2,000 lying around that they can send to some fazool in Pakistan. Beghairats take money from women. Then you know what? I have lots of loans and financial need. Send me the 2,000.
Ok seriously. I am raising money for scholarships for muslim kids. I'd think 2 grand would be better donating to charity so next time you feel behooved to pay for anything for some guy in Pakistan, just send me a PM I can direct you to more worthwhile causes than chors in Pakistan.
I don’t understand why your friend can not communicate with her fiance using Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp, Gmail chat etc? All those are free. I find it ironic that she’s concerned about saving money for their future…and yet drops $650 on a stupid phone when there are so many other ways to communicate with someone overseas for FREE.
well, she should have some healthy meal and then speak to her finace 
