I would really like to hear from guys on this issue and see what their take is on it.
A friend of mine got involved with a guy several years back. Things were going fine and almost suddenly his interest in her dropped. It was a major blow to her ego and things were kind of messy on her end. It was really tough for her to get over him.
Now, after almost 3 years, the guy messages her out of nowhere with a very standard greeting, saying hope all is well.
She’s going crazy trying to figure out why he’s messaging her.
I think he could be doing it to massage his own ego and to see if he can get her interested again.
Then again I could be reading too much into a simple action because I always believed that men don’t overthink these kind of things.
My question is, do guys ever just say “hello” if they’re not at all interested in someone? Why would they choose to initiate contact with someone they weren’t interested in?
Maybe he found someone else..and the grass wasn't as green on the other side as he had expected it to be?
I would advise your friend to ignore the message... it's a can of worms that is better left untouched. The fact that she's going crazy trying to work out why he has messaged her indicates that she still has some feelings towards the whole situation..
Sometimes, in a relationship, the level of interest is not the same. It could be that yoru friend was moving forward, too fast for the guy and he could not figure out how to pass the message. Right or wrong, that was his way of dealing with the situation. Now after 3 years, he must be thinking that her infatuation with him must be over and he can re-establish the friendship without making it romantic in anyways.
I would really like to hear from guys on this issue and see what their take is on it.
A friend of mine got involved with a guy several years back. Things were going fine and almost suddenly his interest in her dropped. It was a major blow to her ego and things were kind of messy on her end. It was really tough for her to get over him.
Now, after almost 3 years, the guy messages her out of nowhere with a very standard greeting, saying hope all is well.
She's going crazy trying to figure out why he's messaging her.
I think he could be doing it to massage his own ego and to see if he can get her interested again.
Then again I could be reading too much into a simple action because I always believed that men don't overthink these kind of things.
My question is, do guys ever just say "hello" if they're not at all interested in someone? Why would they choose to initiate contact with someone they weren't interested in?
I'm not a guy but I think that he could be messaging her to boost his own ego. Maybe he got dumped by some girl and is turning to your friend .....again to console his wounded ego. Maybe he's bored out of his mind and was looking for amusement. Who knows? I think it's better that your friend just move on from him and try not to entertain any thoughts about why he did this or that.
Three years is a long time. Where was he during this duration? It doesn't seem that he cared enough. How did he reject her? Did he bother giving some explanation.......or did he just implement the cowardly method of "I'll just ignore her and she'll get the hint"? I think that's harder to move on from because the other person didn't provide direct closure. Anyhow........if he just rejected her without explanation........and is now messaging her after 3 years.......she shouldn't assume that he's interested. Better to avoid him than to go through the whole moving on process again.
Thats hwat I want her to do, to ignore him because I know this won’t be good for her.
So you think it can go either way, that he is genuinely interested in having a friendship with her OR just wants the ego massage?
Can a guy tell if the girl is being (as she described herself) “psycho-crazy” and having a difficult time getting over him?
The way she described it, he was very sweet and attentive and would initiate everything. But they had one…date…if thats what you want to call it, and after that he dropped her. I’m sure her behavior afterwards didn’t make it likely that he would ever be interested in her again but she’d pinpoint it to that one incident.
I don’t know where he was, she met him at her job but they went separate ways after a while. She said that after the one date, he began to freeze her out and ignore her.
Maybe he found someone else..and the grass wasn't as green on the other side as he had expected it to be?
I would advise your friend to ignore the message... it's a can of worms that is better left untouched. The fact that she's going crazy trying to work out why he has messaged her indicates that she still has some feelings towards the whole situation..
Well said! It does seem like a can of worms. And the whole situation just seems more about HIM (his ego) than it does about her.
I think the issue is less with the guy and more with the girl
it appears that she was infatuated and scared him off..getting 'messed up' after something ending after one date screams needy, unbalanced, etc etc
and now that she is going crazy as you state, I think she is still is a little strange.
best case is to just ignore it and move on. His intentions dont really matter. The issue seems to be in her approach of dealing with the dude.
if he is just saying hello because he thinks after a long time things can be back to before they dated, and has no other motives, i dont think based on what i read that she will really be able to handle that.
if he has other motives, ego boost after some breakup, then why put herself in a situation where she is fallback or rebound..
move on..
I think she is 'going crazy' because she is not over him..and reestablishing contact will just be counter-productive for her life in moving forward.
if she is holding out hope that he has come back to her and she wants to give it another shot, only then she should connect, and that too take things very slow and bail at the first sign of being a fallback or a 'just friends' thing.
Please, please advice your friend to stay away from him. If the guy doesn't have the decency and respect for her to deal with that situation with honesty and integrity, he will only continue to hurt her. Please tell her to allow herself to not get hurt again. It is not worth it. There ARE better guys out there. I know I don't know anything about this guy or their relationship. But if someone has the ability to mess up your life that much, you should be vary of giving them another chance.
