Re: Advice before shadi...
blushing_vision, didn't you get married recently? congratulations!
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mother in laws change after marriage 
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^ not necessarily in a bad way...
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im very worried about this! i havent moved in with my hubby yet, but when i do inshAllah we will be staying with his family for a few months…my mother in law is lovely alhamdilillah she always says im her beti and not bahoo and shes always shows care and concern for me…but i ve heard that it all changes after! becoz we are all gonna be living together there may be clash of personalities becoz you’re spending so much time with them and you may start to irritate one another.
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^the thing is, everyone tends to be on their best behaviour when they're visiting. living together exposes your true nature coz you can't be on your best behaviour 24/7. there will be times when you're stressed or frustrated for whatever reason so obviously your actions will reflect your mood (i.e. not smiling all the time) and the same will happen to your in-laws as well coz it's human nature. now the question is how to deal with it. i know it's hard but i have a really good book that i read every time i feel myself feeling overwhelmed by the stuff around me. i'm thinking of posting exerpts from it so that you lot can benefit from the practical advice in it.
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plz do…whats the book called and author, mite be able to get it from here somewhere?
Re: Advice before shadi...
Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide
by Dr. Ekram and M. Rida Beshir; amana publications (c) 2003
Available from
www.islamicbookstore.com
Baltimore, Maryland, USA
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JazakAllahKhayr, for the UK guppies, theres a very good book called “blessings of marriage” by Mufti Ashaf Ali thanwi, its brilliant its got advice from an islamic perspective on just about everything, i would reccommend it for all those thinking of getting married, engaged, those who are already married, basically jusy buy its a great book to have in the muslim household!
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if any of you are going to live with anyone after marriage just tell them dont come a knocking if you see the room a rocking.
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Ira, I dunno when you're getting married, but the last few days leading up to the wedding tend to be very hectic and unorganized so it would be a good idea to plan things in advance. i.e. make a list of the things you need, the things you have to buy. Try to get most of it done beforehand because there will be tons of last-minute things to do.
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where did u get married? im having my rukhsati and valima in pk, do u have any advice? anythign would be useful..im gettin kinda nervous!
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thanks Larki! Will order this one 
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I got married here, in Canada. My friend got married in Pakistan and she said that unlike the brides here, dulhans there don't have to do anything. Everyone else does everything for you so I guess you won't have to worry much about the reception itself. I do think you should make a list of stuff you need/use on a daily basis because those are the things you tend to forget about since we take them for granted. Ex: toothbrush, toothpaste, pads, moisturizers, hairbrush, elastics/clips, socks, underwear, pj's, nailclippers, nail polish remover, deoderant, perfume, etc. Basically think about all the stuff you use in a day from morning to night and write them down. Also, take into consideration the season you're getting married. Make a checklist so you can cross off things as you buy them.
Hope that helps.
When are you having your rukhsati/reception (since I know you're already married) inshallah?
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yes thanks love..i will do that, well im having the rukhsati in august…in pakistan…yes i know its gonna be boooooooooiling hot! but i keep thinking its ok inshallah i will be able to take the heat, i went makkah/madinah last year in july august period and it was unbelievably hot, but alhamdolillah we survived, and last time wen i went pak was in august so ive already experienced the heat…my cousiins keep saying r u mad…have it in december…im like no way! i dont think can wait that long, i want to move in with my hubby as soon as i graduate which is what he wants so waiting till august is hard enough but december..that wouuld be like a year after a nikkah!
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larki thank you so much for all the list of things. I am not even thinking htat far ahead but ammi ji is 
She was talking abt toothbrushe etc and iw as like huh??? But i guess it makes sense to take care of all these things. I plan to take care of most of the little stuff before my trip to Pak InshaAllah. So once i am back its only taking care of the “bigger items”. A list sounds good actually.
DV2A: I am so scared of getting dark as a coal during my trip to Pak 
I am olive skinned and tan real easily, I am getting so scared!!! If anyone has any tips on that do share.
BV was talking abt how inlaws may change after the wedding. My inlaws are MaashaAllah are real nice and bhai jaan (my eldest bro in law) actually considers me a guriya 
No one has ever called me a gurya before!! And i really hope InshaAllah i stay nice to them and they to me even after the wedding.
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well i wear hijab and inshAllah im going to wearing niqaab in pak.i hate all those pervy men, so i suppose in a way that gets me round the problem of ruinging my skin!!! LOL. but anyway i really hope to that my in laws stay the same with me coz alhamdolillah they are great and my husband always tells me they have alot of love for me which i kn ow they do coz i can feel it. ive made a pact that im going to be good to them and not live up to the stereotype of a typical daughter in law/sis in law. i always make dua to Allah that he perfects my charcter in every way and gives me the ability of living and dealing with them (in laws) in a manner which will gain a place of love and respect in their hearts and above all in a way which pleases Allah.
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I wear hijab too and i was also thinking atb niqab (men ARE pervy in some areas of Pak!!!). Maybe i should actually implement it! :D
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Men are pervy everywhere
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Ira, I think you will probably tan a bit regardless of how much you cover up. The pollution there will also affect your skin. If you can, try and get a facial done there before you leave to clean all the muck off your skin. Cover up with a chaddar if you can and use sun block regularly.
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for some reason when my cousin was visiting from pakistan, she tanned even though it was winter here in canada. so i guess some people don't tan in pakistan but they do here.