Just saw the followup show to the Pachaas Minute episode on kids running away from home. They ended the show (and yeah, this was typical, but still), with a child that had run away from home like 2-3 days ago. He hadn’t had anything to eat and was asking for roti - claimed he wouldn’t go back home as his father beats him - and said that he didn’t know what happens to runaway kids and what the term “ziati” means.
Although I confess, I didn’t know what “ziati” was either before this show.
Chota munna sa bacha tha - looked like he was 7 or 8 or something like that. He just kept asking for roti.
Why is our society so anti-adoption? Do you guys have any clue that if you adopt one of these children what difference you’re making in someone’s life.
I say this because we have a fertility thread going up, and some women have come onto this website to get support/vent/write about how they are having difficulty in conceiving.
Have you ladies thought about the prospect of adopting a child? Okay, so you have to deal with some immigration issues if you’re living abroad, but no big deal. I have seen people bringing over some maids and servants over as naukars and they manage to fight thru immigration to get them in thru. Of course, someone has to do the jharoo/poncha. 
I personally would love to adopt once I’m ready to have a family - and that too - adopt one of these kinds of kids off the street. Especially these newbies that have just come fresh onto the street like this one child they showed, who had not been put on drugs yet or even raped/molested, etc.
What the community needs to do for these kids is one thing. The gov’t is clearly not doing thier job to help these kids.
But I definitely think that if our community is more open to the idea of adopting these bachay, then things might get a little better.
Any volunteers…?
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I definitely want to adopt kids, along with having my own, and I want a man who is open to the idea of adoption. If my mother can love a DOG, she can definitely love a child that isn’t our blood. That should definitely narrow down the pool of available guys more than it already is 
:k:
Ok so, why is our culture against adoption?
First of all they don’t want some ghair kids growing up and marrying the father or mother or sister of the family coz u know, adopted bros/sis r na-mehrams. Also, adopted kids aren’t entitled to any inheritance, because if they were, they’re taking away what is “rightfully” someone else’s. Also, noone wants “bad blood” in their homes
Now my question is…realistically what man whos’ raised a girl since she was a baby want to marry her later on? That’s just sick. What boy or girl whos raised with someone as brother and sister would marry? Okay the inheritance thing does make sense, but even if the adopted child isn’t legally a part of the will, wouldn’t the family members give them parts of it anyway? Let’s say I had a younger bro/sis who was adopted. Even if they weren’t in the will, whatever I got I would give them some as well, even if ti wasn’t “official.” Woudln’t a mother or father do the same? As for “bad blood”–those people are narrow minded and ignorant.
However, nothing can compare to the feeling of having a life in you. I can imagine there is no more fascinating and painful and just amazing thing than having a tiny human being growing inside you. Man… so awesome.. I love m mommy 
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na-mehram issues are stupid really. the prophet raised an orphan /slave didn't he? was that orphan getting jiggy with the prophet's daughters?
No.
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well some people give a LOT of importance to hijab/segregation/purdah etc. Funny how in every aspect of our lives we will interact with men, have guy/girl friensd, bfs/gfs but when it comes to somethin gnoble and honorable, like giving a child a life, a future, we shiit our pants and go "hawwwww hayyyyyyeee"
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Yeah I see the ones worry about mehram/na-mehram issues are the same ones that have no problem in talking to na-mehram people on a regular basis as it is.
I think its more the threat that if my real child and this adopted child fall in love and wish to marry, then my blood is being married to street blood.
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I have relatives back home that have cared for orphans. I really wanted to adopt an Afghani child. God knows how many of them lost their families due to the bombings and war. i think it's crazy that so many kids from China, India, and other countries are given a chance for a better life but kids from Muslim countries are just suffering.
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DONT get me started on how Christian and Jewish charity organizations are going to tsunami hit areas of indonesia and also to war-hit areas of afghanistan and adopting children and sending them off to christian/jewish families.
Nothing wrong with the fact that they’re willing to help, but because of our own ignorance, we’re loosing muslims.
I think Angelina Jolie just adopted a child - the baby girl has a muslim name, although I don’t know if the child really is from a muslim family/village.
Now, do you honestly think Angelina Jolie is going to bring up the child as a muslim? She seems like a great mom, and I’m sure she’ll bring up a good human being…
oh well, maybe its better the child is being raised by her rather than some paindoo muslim family.
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It's another thing that gets on my nerves.
Abt a yr ago there was a thread in general about a young baby girl who was going to be adopted by a non Muslim family and the social worker or someone had issues with that, so she tried to delay the adoption or something; I don't remember exact details but that was the general issue of the thread. There was a lot of uproar with some people saying that it's better if the kid lives as an orphan, feels no love from parents and is totally alone in the world and be a Muslim, only to grow up and possibly leave Islam because it was the "excuse" that they should live as orphans than be raised in a loving, kind, caring Christian household, where they might have the chance to discover their roots and possibly revert to Islam.
I think people who advocated the former should open up their hearts and minds. They are being ignorant and selfish by saying that someone is better off on teh streets and in bad condition than to be raised and possibly have a chance to discover one's roots. If one is not willing to adopt a child, then tehy have no right to complain about how the are losign the Muslims to the kaffirs.
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I think it's great that Angelina has a big heart and has adopted this child. But you're right PCG about Muslim children losing their identity and religion. I can hear my mother's voice in my head saying, "It's Kismet. Allah knows what's best." It's kind of a toss up isn't it? A child may have a great life (non-Muslim) and never know Islam. But I can't say really if it's realistic for every Muslim child to have Muslim parents. In my opinion if loving parents want a child and can provide a good life I would much rather see that kid off the streets in a Kafir home.
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^ If the only two choices we have are seeing kids on the streets (1) vs. seeing them adopted by non-muslims (please don't use the term kaafir, since you do not know what is in someone's heart) (2)...
then that's sorta sad right? Hence the purpose of this thread. Like I said, I see people even on these forums that are worried about conception...I would like to know if any of these couples would like to adopt orphans from Pakistan and provide them a good future?
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its just funny watching 2 of u babbling , wats stuck up in ur phat head … i m sure both of u did do research into ADOPTION N ISLAM other then reading online 
funnny stufffff lol
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Very good points raised by Sara :k:
Adopting someone out of family i.e orphan is very noble and authentic Sunnah of Holy prophet :saw: So, no question about it bieng prescribed in Islam.
Although, there are many cultural stigmas attached with it in subcontinent. Which is sad reality.
If you are planning to adopt child in future keep in mind
-
Attach absolutely no expectaions with adopted child that he/she will care about you when they grow up. I know it is hard, But you will have to do this otherwise consequences will be disastorous for you.
-
You have to be mentally very strong, to patiently hear all the negative stuff and never let it change your behavior towards child. If you are not then never adopt a child.
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Tell the child that he/she is adopted as soon as possible.
Many people get hurt by their own children badly, but when you hear similar story about some adopted child, we relate it to the fact the child was not own blood. * Agar mera apna beta hota tu aisa na karta !! *
No matter how sad this behavior is. It is a hard core reality.
Desis are really bad at parenting an adopted child. Even the ones with good intention miserably fail, just because it is a very very difficult job.
So here is an alternative
If you want to adopt a child (an orphan in pakistan). Go ahead :k: and admit him/her in a good school with a proper boarding admit him/her in hostel. there are lots of good schools in big cities of pakistan, and they are not too costly if you earn in $
Do spend time with him/her when you are in Pakistan, Remain in contact through email, chat and ask his/her teachers about the progress from time to time …
Take gift for him/her when you go to Pakistan along with gifts for relatives.
^ This is the more practical way of adopting a child from your own race and religion, and more chance are that he/she will become a better citizen one day Inshallah
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Ohh
First,
There are not as many kids out there in Pak, as some NGOs might tell when they are interviewed, just to raise funds. I have never seen a deserving (one who can hardly survive if not adopted) kids in any NGO.
Then,
With prices of things rising each moment, it is even hard for most families to manage the ones who are already there. Kids can be adopted in this scenario, but they will feel more ignored when refused to something, than the ones not adopted.
Even if provided with enough resources, it is still hard to deal with adopted ones. Relatives are one issue that can make things worst, either by ignoring the adopted one or just making him a symbol for others.
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^ Umer Sharif, you didn't read my original thread - this is a suggestion for those who are having trouble conceiving and want a child. So cost is not an issue, since they're prepared to handle the cost of one already - hence the attempts at conceiving.
Re: Adoption
**If you want to adopt a child (an orphan in pakistan). Go ahead and admit him/her in a good school with a proper boarding admit him/her in hostel. there are lots of good schools in big cities of pakistan, and they are not too costly if you earn in $
Do spend time with him/her when you are in Pakistan, Remain in contact through email, chat and ask his/her teachers about the progress from time to time ...
Take gift for him/her when you go to Pakistan along with gifts for relatives.**
I'm disgusted, slightly. This may be more practical for you as a parent, but a child needs love and attention when growing up. Sure school makes a child stronger, but they need an emotional support system, which is not available to them in this option. Typical male thinking.
Mr. Bombastic: Refrain from typing please. Your words are an eyesore.
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Typical male thinking is sometimes more inline with "rational thinking "
Raising a one’s own child is a gigantic task. Really
Many people fail in doing so i.e raising their own children properly, let alone someone else.
Emotional needs and love is important but at what cost ? May be you intentions are nice but what about others ? the child may get hurt badly by the behavior of other close relatives. What can one do there ?
Ofcourse if you are sure that you can maintain equilibrium in all those different roles and responsibilities then more power to you :k:
But my solution has relatively less chances of failure and it is practicabe for the one who actually care for these children and wants to do something about them, instead of bieng couch reformers… Which, sadly most of us are
Re: Adoption
But my solution has relatively less chances of failure and it is practicabe for the one who actually care for these children and wants to do something about them, instead of bieng couch reformers... Which, sadly most of us are
Since this is not the topic of the thread, I'll just reiterate, that it is practical for the one doing the caring, but it is not practical for the one being cared for.
As for close relatives, one should be strong enough in their thinking - rational, as you like to say - to be able to put relatives in their place.
You can keep thinking about yourself, but it just shows exactly why kids are on the street. Sure adopting a child is a big responsibility. So is giving birth to one and raising that child. But people still give birth and raise kids right? At that point, no one stops to think about what people will say to the child, etc - because even though the same factors are there, they become a non-issue since its your blood involved, and you KNOW that you wont let anyone hurt your own child.
Because of selfishness, that same attitude is not present towards children that are not related to you by blood.
Code-red, like I said - this thread is for those who are having trouble conceiving, and do not have the issue of "my other real child". So please, stick to the topic and address the issue.
Unless you're having trouble conceiving, you really should not be replying in the first place. :)
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Not one lady having trouble conceiving responded. Interesting.
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PCG while I agree with you on adoption, you can't blame those ladies for wanting to concieve their own children. I definitely think adoption is a great thing, however, nothing can compare to having a life inside of you; seeing someone that is a combination of two souls grow right before you. I mean, its a great thing and u can't blame em..
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Am I blaming them for wanting to conceive? Not at all - I hope their dreams do come true. But in the event that its not possible, I'm asking if they've CONSIDERED adoption?
I'm leaving out ladies who already have children, because the whole na-mehram mehram issue will pop up (even though its a non-issue). For childless ladies, this is not an issue at all.
And its a fact that many desi couples end up childless - due to fertility problems in the male or female or both. So in these situations, which we have ladies here who are in or might be facing this problem, has the issue of adoption come up?