acha khana kaysay banaoun :(

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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ok so i am very sad :frowning:

i am married, have nice in-laws… well my FIL has a very peculiar taste for food sigh and when he doesnt like a dish, he angrily announces " bekaar khana bana hoa hai, ik khana tak nahi bana saktay tum log, etc etc and etc…

now it happens most of the time, that when i cook, he doesnt usually like it :frowning: although my MIL keeps looking at the way i cook and btw i follow the exact recipe that MIL tells me but i dont know what goes wrong :frowning: along cooking i even keep reciting different duas :"(

last night i got so upset on the dining table :frowning: i was about to cry… kia karunnnnnn

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

hunni, try asking him or your MIL as to what exactly the problem is with the khana , is it too spicy? not spicy enough? too oily? not too oily? too watery? etc … unless you know the exact issue you wont be able to sort out the problem…

Everyone has a different idea of perfect khana .. while I think thick gravy is perfect food , my mom thinks watery gravy is perfect khana ! so you have to find out what his perfect kkana is …

Find this out from him if you can , if he is not being very helpful ask your MIL .. and then report back here and I will help you get through this … theek hai ? now cheer up ..I await your response ..

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

mujhe maaf karo magar apne MIL ki recipe aur kisiko bata kar raay lo…

aur khud achhe khaane ka shauq rakho to khana bhi achha banaogi

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

thank you :slight_smile:

so i start with the simple, cooked after every 2-3 days, dish “Murghi”

Sometimes my FIL likes it and sometimes he does not sigh though i follow the exact recipe every time…

FIL likes the khana to be less spicy, less oily, with little curry ( but a bit wattery not too gravy-like ) but when i am cooking, MIL comes checks oil, if she thinks its less she adds more :frowning: she adds or lessens water according to her calculations… but at the end if the dish turns out good, she tells she made it but if it turns out bad, she tells i made it :frowning: However, i am unable to understand that WHY whenever I am cooking it usually does not turn out good :frowning:

i have started to believe there is something called taste in hands… i lack that :frowning: meray haath mein zaiqa nahi hai… and i cook with all interest and love and duas :frowning:

please tell me how to make a normal murghi ka salan, tasty ? please

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

use shan or national masala packets:cobra:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

my MIL and jeethani said they dont use masaly in daily khanay :frowning:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

they dont use so what you start using

try once if they like the taste you can continue using them

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

  1. Buy some acha khaana that was “banaaoed” by a very skilled chef fom a top quality restaurant.

  2. Empty contents from the restaurant container into serving bowls.

  3. Dispose of the bags/containers/and any evidence suggesting that you did not make the dishes.

  4. Make sure ghar waalay see you slicing up the dhannia/adarak/hari mirch…that you will sprinkle atop these already-made dishes. If they see you using the knife…they just might be dumb enough to think you made the whole thing.

  5. If need be, get into character and don your apron.

  6. Serve and blush prettily when your FIL tells you that your food is just as good as the restaurant down the street…and when your MIL gets jealous that she herself never received such a compliment…and when your hubsy looks at you with pride because you have finally managed to please at least one of his parents.

  7. So yeah, just fake it until you make it. Or…you can try getting pregnant. Everyone has a lot of hamdardi for preggo women and go easy on them…either that or they feel khauf due to their raging hormones and dare not say anything that will bring out the beast in them.

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

Or just listen to CB…and get your in-laws opinions/preferences…have MIL a bit more involved during the cooking process and then gradually (when you’re more comfortable/confident) start becoming more independent.

Last resort: wazifas that will hopefully lead to your hubs moving away from parents.

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

:bummer:O God..yeh tou bara mushkil hai :frowning:

mere gher mein sirf father in-law hain onnho ne shayed hi kabhi khush ho k khana khaya ho(ager khansama na hota tou pata nai kiya hota)

Lakin mujhe dawat mein ya kabi kabi pakana pherta hai tou offcourse,shan masalajat kuch b aisa dalti hon (kuch tareef ho jayti hai kuch loog nahe khush hote)lakin koshish pori kerti hon waise mujhe b yeh hi laghta hai mere haath mein zaika nahee ya tareeka nahee:confused:

Ore jeethjni se seek lo ?

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

i loved it, BUT i have itelligent inlaws lol :slight_smile: besides FIL has incredibly intelligent taste-buds ( too too bad for me), he identifies if something is being cooked at home or is brought from bar-b-Q tonight sigh and i am trying hard for option number 7, may Allah bless me with a baby amin :frowning:

haha cool… i really recite darood shareef and thrid kalima and all other duas that i remember while cooking, and then PHOOK the salan but :"(

haey lucky you, you have a khansama at home sigh meray ghar walay make fun of one mamo-inlaw because he has a khansama at home :frowning:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

and besides me and my jeethani are at really good terms, but i hate it when my jeethani herself sometimes add masalay and stuff when she is cooking and forbids me to do so :S

but the problem is i cant cook at my own, because MIL and jeethani keep on pinpointing and ‘tokking’ all the way while i am cooking, although i follow their recipes… i am just fed up of all the embarassment that i have to face when my-cooked-dishes are announced to be ‘bekaar’… it makes me cry over the time i spent in cooking rather than studying ( yes i am a student too)

there must be some dua for adding taste in khanay, or else making the taste-buds of FIL less active lol

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

hunni, dua’s are important but they wont hold your hand and make you do magical stuff ! that is why Allah has given us hands and a brain to take initiative .. Let me help you ..

  • About them adding masalay while they dont let you do it … you dont have to tell them .. just watch them , how much masala they add and at what stage of the cooking process … dont tell away that you are observing them , do it cleverly, half the learning is done by seeing someone do it ..

  • now about *haat ka taste * .. thats all another crap that you will hear from alot of people … it does exist but not to the extent ki it can take over your life ! for a really tasty khana , for example chicken ka salan , i will write down a recipe now , along with the basic tips ..read them carefully and try cooking the salan again …

Good luck :hugz:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

chicken salan recipe :

Some things you need to keep in mind coz the taste of the salan depends on them:

Heat oil really well and then add in onions and a splash of water , add in a pinch of methi seeds and the salt ( jitna aph khatay ho salan mai ) and start bhuno’ing it … cover the pot and keep it on medium heat

Tips:
how you have cut your onions matters alot , you can either coarsely crush them in the machine or thinly slice them … if they are too thick they wont mix into the curry .. if they are too paste like then they wont bhuno well …

Secondly , frying onions is the key point in the salan … first few minutes ( 10 minutes ) you add in a splash of water and cover and let it cook on medium heat so that it softens up and releases water … next 15 minutes you lower the heat and stir the onions every few minutes but put the lid on after every stir … this helps the onions to mash well while getting fried … you will notice oil separating well and nice …

Adding salt at the early stage helps the onions release all their water and that further enhances their taste when you fry them … adding methi seeds enhances the taste of the salan …if your FIL object to its taste , then next time dont add them … but do try at least once ..

Keeping the onions at medium heat earlier and cooking them on lower heat later , makes alot of difference , it helps the onions get caramalized without burning them but also cooking them in the process ..

once the onion is all done ( should have taken you about half an hour all together ) now add in the garlic and start frying on medium high heat , when ever it starts sticking to the pan add a splash of water .. after a minute add in the ginger , continue to fry.

Tip:
Never add ginger and garlic together .. they kill each other’s taste … so first fry the garlic … when its done , then do the ginger …

Now add in a splash of water and then the chicken pieces .. medium heat … start bhunoing it … until the chicken has released all its water and has started changing color .. this should take you about 20 minutes …

then mix the rest of the spices ( what ever your MIL uses , like red chilli powder, haldi powder etc and all the whole masala’s ) in two tsp water and add it to the chicken … and keep on bhunoing it , if you want to use shan masala then only use haldi powder and take about two to three tsp of the shan masala and add it to the chicken …

Tip:
always mix masalas in two tsp of water or yoghurt so that they dont get burnt during the bhunoing process

finally , take about 3-4 tomatoes and chop them finely … add them to the chicken , cover the pot and let it all cook on low heat … when the tomatoes get fully mixed into the salan .. add loads of fresh corriander and one green chilli chopped … into the salan .. keep it on low heat and lid covered for another 15 minutes and finally when you see the oil floating on top you are done …

hope this helps

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

Its like my story. My FIL would say something so awkard about my food that I would just hate making anything. When my in laws started visiting me, I would cook something and man I’ll get the most weirdest comment. Now let me tell you, I am a very good cook. I make amazing Biryani and I am always asked to make dishes for dawat. My in-laws on the other hand… I didn’t understand initially why they would not like my food. When it started happening too much, I asked my MIL to make their food and I’ll take care of my husband’s food. My FIL grew up having a certain type of food and that’s how he wants everything. He loves super spicy masalay wala khana that a normal person can not digest. Even my husband stronly disagree with them.

So my advice to you is, there is nothing wrong with your food. If everyone else likes your food then it must be good. Your FIL may prefer his food the way your MIL makes so that’s okay. Why don’t you ask your MIL to make a dish for him because he doesn’t like your food. I told my MIL that I think abbu doesn’t like my food so I wouldn’t mind if you make his food everyday. She was understanding and started cooking for him. She saw that I love making food and really put all my effort but FIL would still complain. I don’t think that even she appreciated that so she took over. I still cook food the way I’ve always have.

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

Don’t worry, hunni buney, you’re not alone! In the first month after I got married, my MIL’s fridge was so packed w/food that I was constantly trying to get rid of it before it went bad. Hence, I didn’t cook for that first month. My MIL herself is a horrible cook, but when my hubby and I were about to move away, she jokingly told my mom that my hubby would starve. My mom of course defended me and told her that I’m a good cook. My mom casually listed a few things that I make at my parents house, one of them being chicken pasta. Now, every time I see my MIL, she asks me to make chicken pasta. I think she just wants me to prove myself b/c I know that she doesn’t care for pasta that much. Granted, I’m not a gourmet chef, but I can still put something edible on the table.

Point being, there are probably other issues going on w/your FIL’s dissatisfaction, and your MIL’s lack of support for you. Everyone is a beginner at some point. Look online for some simple recipes that YOU understand. Start by making SIMPLE food. I found baking really easy, and my family loves anything that I bake.

Here’s one of the easiest, lightest baked fish recipes. You can modify this any way that you want to meet your family’s needs:

  • 4 fish fillets (tilapia or salmon work great)

  • 1-2 TBSP olive oil, or oil spray

  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

  • 1 tablespoon minced fresh rosemary, parsley, or cilantro leaves

  • 1/2 tsp minced garlic or garlic paste

  • 2 lemons, sliced thinly

  • 4 teaspoons coarsely chopped olived

  • dash of paprika, optional

  • A baking dish and aluminum foil

                **Directions**

Preheat oven at 350 degrees F or about 180 degrees C.
Spray the dish with oil spray, or grease it with 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil.
In a small bowl, mix the salt, pepper, garlic, and parsley/rosemary/herbs leaves.
Place the fish fillets side by side in the baking dish. Spread the garlic/herb mixture over the fillets like a paste. Don’t worry about coating the entire top of the fish. The flavors will drip down.
Then spread some chopped olives on each fillet on top of the garlic mixture.
Top with lemon slices
Sprinkle parsley over it for some color
Cover the dish tightly w/aluminum foil and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the fish flakes easily with a fork.

It’s not “desi” kaana, it has more mediterranean taste, but it was a great start for me when I began cooking. You can also slice tomatoes and layer it and throw in any vegetables in the dish around the salmon.

One mistake that I used to make on lazy days was that I would throw all the ingredients in a pot and expect all of the chemical reactions to happen and to get the correct product. Of course, it doesn’t work that way. Focus on making one dish and spend your time doing each step perfectly.

Another piece of advice I would give you is to taste the food at every step of the cooking process, especially when making salans. Hope that helps, and good luck. :slight_smile:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

I remember a funny story my mum used to tell, I think I shall tell it to lighten the mood here.

Husband and wife were living together, far away from the inlaws. Husband daily use to tell the wife “Tum meri maa ke jaise roti nahin banati” .. Wife bechari would of course be sad about this and try different methods. During holidays, the couple visited the inlaws and MIL prepared the food. When she was about to make the rotis, the DIL sat next to her, closely watching to learn her technique. The MIL ended up making a burned roti and served it for her son. Husbank khushi se bola “Amma jaan, aap ke haat ka zaiqa hi kuch aur hai”

So, moral is just because they aint liking it, doesnt necessarily mean ke aap ke haat mein zaiqa nahin :wink:

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

^haha cute

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

lol..

My dad always says bacha kabhi apnay maa ke hath ka khana nahi bholta even if the mom is a terrible cook. I think same with couples that spend puri zindagi together. My FIL would reject the best food there is because he wants unh ki biwi ke hath ke tinday.. lol. Me and my husband laugh at this. When you spend a lifetime with someone, the only food you know or start liking is theirs.

Again, there is nothing wrong with your food. Just kindly ask your MIL to make something for your FIL each day and you’ll take care of your husband’s food.

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Re: acha khana kaysay banaoun :frowning:

^True. When you live with someone you adjust the same taste somehow.

We dont eat loads of spices in our daily khana. I would say it is pretty simple. My bhabhi on the other hand likes to add a lot of masalas to her khana, because thats what she is used to as they had a prof. cook at home in pak. Now after 7 years, my brother has developed the same taste and thinks if its not masaledaar, it is peeka.