Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
i can understand feeling of being left out ....
but dont take such ppls seriously, there is nothing u can do about it in my view....
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
I might get s*** for saying this but since Im trying to focus on bigger things in life and not the petty people with their petty comments and remarks.. here goes nothing
sigh your the bahu of the family.. atleast if not anything I think that relation should have you thinking twice before making any senti comments your going to feel bad about later on.
Its a stupid wedding invite.. look beyond that onto the bigger things in life. Your FIL doesn't owe you anything to have to be forced to write your name on that invitation.. dont get me wrong, i understand your sentiment but just because tumhari 'balle balle' nahi hui, you make a scene so big as to put words into every ones mouths especially your husbands'. and trust me.. thats the last person you want to give that to, because once your husband starts disrespecting you, everyone gets the "free-ticket" to do it -
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
Ah..I can understand your situation. I went through something similar. My husband understood my viewpoint though and immediately called home and had them print up new cards. It was too late to reprint and redistribute to everyone, but the cards I was sending to my side were reprinted with my name. It didn't make up for the hurt, but I was pleased with my husband taking a stand at least.
Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1
Nahi it wouldnt be on the card even then.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
nadz it's actually pretty simple.
it's a tit for tat thing. You didn't want to attend your SIL's wedding (pregnancy was obviously fair ...but going away to the UK wasnt a valid reason) which probably put your in laws off and they decided not to put your name there. It's like their attempt to give you a taste of your own medicine !
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
and oh btw am NOT saying what they did was right at all !
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
It could just be a dig at you, because you can't attend the wedding nor are you sending their granddaughter (justifiably on your part). :-/ Pettiness and scheming seems to be a big part for your in laws. :-/
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
I might get s*** for saying this but since Im trying to focus on bigger things in life and not the petty people with their petty comments and remarks.. here goes nothing
sigh your the bahu of the family.. atleast if not anything I think that relation should have you thinking twice before making any senti comments your going to feel bad about later on. Its a stupid wedding invite.. look beyond that onto the bigger things in life. Your FIL doesn't owe you anything to have to be forced to write your name on that invitation.. dont get me wrong, i understand your sentiment but just because tumhari 'balle balle' nahi hui, you make a scene so big as to put words into every ones mouths especially your husbands'. and trust me.. thats the last person you want to give that to, because once your husband starts disrespecting you, everyone gets the "free-ticket" to do it -
what do u mean?
and why am i not allowed to get upset.....and i cant even show my own husband i am? incase HE uses it against me.....watttt?
IF he doesnt understand , then why should i have to care for how he may react to my being upset?
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
I think u should get used 2 it if my inlaws r like this I would be used 2 this attitude n if my huby shows me card I vl b least bothered person n vl show him disinterest in the card cheer up girl be happy u r prego
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
im her bhabi. i wudnt care if was just her cousin.
and im not competing with my daughter. im upset that they wrote everyone but my name. so his mum and my daughter. and on wedding invite its his and his brothers name, i dnt mind that bit cos only male names were there, but on the mendi, whcih is where the female names went, my name wasnt there.
nadz, i get what you're saying. and yes, it was extremely rude of them not to list your name on the invite, as you are her bhabi. i'm going to give you some sage advice here, and i really hope you think about it....
**the day you stop having expectations from your in laws, that's the day you'll no longer feel hurt/slighted/disrespected by their words/actions!!!
**you cannot force people to behave in the manner you want, especially if they are not capable of such things to begin with. apne dil aur dimaag se wo umeed hataa do....jis din tum bilkul careless hojowgi..khud ba khudi tumharay masslay hull hojyengay.
and believe me, i'm not just spouting words here...this is a very hard fought lesson i've learned from situations with my own in laws.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
don't take every little thing to heart but if you are really upset talk to your in laws about it.. since they are the ones that made the card not your husband or anyone else. simple.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
You have every right to be upset...but it's what you choose to do with those feelings that matter. You basically have two choices:
- Make a fuss
- Keep your silence and give your congratulations to your in-laws along with a thoughtful gift.
The first option will inevitably cause more problems and will make you look petty...and all of this IS petty nadz. Them not including you is petty and you caring enough to get upset about it is equally petty. The second option makes you look classy and has the added bonus of NOT giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset (which is probably what they're going for if they actually did this with the intent of excluding you).
I've said it to you before and I'll say it again...if you continually look for the negative implications of people's actions, you'll ALWAYS find something to be unhappy about. So STOP looking and enjoy the blessings you already HAVE. Allah SWT has said that if you actually sit down and try to count all you've been blessed with, you'll never finish because there is SO MUCH!!!! Focus on that and stop making yourself miserable.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY do you care??????????????
Have you fallen in love with your SIL or something?
Who cares if she gets married or doesn't? Who cares if your name is not on the card?
They TRY to piss you off and YOU make them happy by getting pissed off. If I were you...I'd never react to anything they did because that would bother them MUCH more.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
be honest do you really care?
Just forget it,
when its your daughters wedding don't add your sis in law on the card...by the way doesn't the mehndi cardnormally say , awaiting your presence so and so since your not gonna be there then how can they rspv you etc..?
Re: Absolutly fuming…!!!1
two pages already 
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
I realise I did not give any advise as to what to do.
What is done is done. The only person you could ever speak to about this was your husband, and your husband isn't on board, so it's useless to even bother.
Taking a higher road is the only option left open to you. The only respectable one.
Send along a gift, I am sure you were going to do so anyway. Don't change your mind about that. And keep the peace.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
I still don't understand that why you lot didn't postpone the wedding by few weeks? Your preganacy was hardly a last minute notice.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
yes, thats the reason mum said too, maybe cos im not there, and usually mendi invite is personal from someone who is actualy there, fine,.thats fine, so whys my daughters name on it...she aint there either, and seriously its the thought that counts, it wouldnt have killed them to put my name on, just to include me.
and yes i do care thatmy husband doesnt understand, i dont care that they dont.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
yes, thats the reason mum said too, maybe cos im not there, and usually mendi invite is personal from someone who is actualy there, fine,.thats fine, so whys my daughters name on it...she aint there either, and seriously its the thought that counts, it wouldnt have killed them to put my name on, just to include me.
and yes i do care thatmy husband doesnt understand, i dont care that they dont.
They're probably still thinking that she'll be there, but obviously thats not the case.
Re: Absolutly fuming....!!!!1
Nadz, there is only one thing left to do. And you KNOW what that is. In order to have the last laugh you should either not send any gifts for your in-laws ...or send crappy ones. If you go for the latter option....I suggest you send wrinkle cream and ettiquette book for your MIL, a Kama Sutra video for your SIL who will be getting married, a sample of a properly written mehndi invite for your FIL, and a stash of porn for your husband to imply that he won't be getting laid anymore.