Your point about the delaying birthday, totally valid. i get it .. but about a death .. i dont get it.. my taya died 4 years back in nov.. i was very upset but my sisters birthday is in november and we celebrate it.? it is a sad time, but Islam teaches us that the sadness is of 3 days. then we move on.
Im fully sympethic with what happened, but we should learn from it instead of crying about it. simple.