About my relationship with my fiance.

[crazyfool]

Re: About my relationship with my fiance.

@Paheli00

It doesn’t matter what we think about all this. What matters is what YOU and HIM think!

In 4 YEARS of being in a relationship with him…have you ever asked him if he considers himself Sunni or Shia? Have you two talked about whether or not the children will be raised as Sunni or Shia?

Based on what you wrote, I’m going to assume that you never asked him directly what he considers himself to be. Please let me know if I’m wrong in my assumption. BUT if I’m right…that means that based on his actions…you also ASSUMED that he doesn’t consider himself Shia. And if that’s true then that is a MAJOR mistake. Just because your fiance does not practice the specifics of Shiaism…that does not automatically mean that he doesn’t consider himself Shia.

So here’s what I think you need to do:

1. Have a open and non-judgment discussion with your fiance. Ask him directly whether or not he considers himself Shia or Sunni.
2. Ask your fiance if he expect his children to be raised as Sunni or Shia…or be exposed to both equally.
3. Once your fiance answers those questions…based on his answers…then YOU and YOU alone need to decide whether or not you still want to marry him.

And also…I hate to say this but at 22, your fiance is still has a lot of growing up to do (personality wise/emotionally). All my close friends…my cousins…myself included…we’re not the same exact person today that we were back at 22. Heck even my fiance will admit that he has changed his values/beliefs a lot since he was 22. So whether its this specific religion issue or other personality issues…you need to keep in mind that no matter who you marry…there is no guarantee that the person will change…or will NOT change.

Obviously his mother/father managed to make their marriage work despite being Shia & Sunni. There are plenty of other mixed couples out there who make it work too. The issue here isn’t the potential difference in religious sects…the issue here is whether or not BOTH of you are willing to work through the differences.

we had the talk about his sect, and he said he believes some of sunni stuff and some shia stuff.. he has no issues about the kids, he said you can give them an option to choose.. we cant ever have any discussion on religion cause hes never interested in it and he says he has no knowlodge so he doesnt wanna comment.
i know people change, but that change will be bought together.. it wont be the change in which we wont be together.. we will inshAllah get married in the coming year hopefully..
I want to marry him, and if i ever tell him that i am leaving him for this reason he will go mad how little i love him.. i’m like his family, his mother is very close to me.. his little sister thinks im his sister..

im sorry my reply is abrupt but my niece is taking the laptop from me.