abhi tu Doori key her Lamhey ko Khawab kerna hay

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
1

abhi tu ik dojjey key khyaloon mein khooye hovey
ik dojjey ki talash mein
ik dojjey key qadmoon key nishahn dhoondhtey
sirab musafitoon key safar mein
zindgi key un-deikhey rastoon per
achey waqat ki talash mein nidhaal umeed ki
himat bandhani hay

abhi tu ik dojjey key saamney beithey
ik dojjey ki ankhoon mein jhaank ker
ik dojjey key aqas mein bantey
ghilmilatey sitaroon ki tamtamaati zue mein
jaagtey samey meethey sapnoon ki
khush aayend tabeer ki madhoshi mein
apni raqs kerti roohun ki khushi ko
apni rag rag mein behtey khun ki rwanni mein shamil ker key
kasht-e-dil key her her arman ko seirab kerna hay
gaye rutton ki talkh tanhayoon ka hisab kerna hay
abhi tu miley bhi nahien, judda hovey beithey ho
abhi tu doori key her lamhey ko khawab kerna hay

  • by chodhry

bohat bussy tha pechley dinnu, still not getting enuf time, dua ke jeye ga merey liye. apni ik tazza tareen poem post ker rha hoon. hope u guys like it.

2

Kuch Hissa Why Post Kia :frowning:

Itni Achi To Hai :slight_smile:

Poori Poem Hi Post Kartay :slight_smile:

Keep It Up :k:

3

bas abhi kuch changes honi hein baqqi mein es lye upload nahien kee poori, anyways thank you BeWaQooF

4

wonderful stuff thanks 4 sharing!

5

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lamhay: *
wonderful stuff thanks 4 sharing!
[/QUOTE]

thankyou Lamhay

6

:k:

7

thankyou Capricorn

8

zabardast Chaudhry Bhai :k:

Keep It Up ..

9

Keep it up chodhry :k:

Its good… now ofcourse it seemz to be U are getting the hold of ur words :slight_smile:

Nice :flower1:

10

As always very nice Choldhry bhai.
But still I will say if you just work a little bit on your rythm. Then it will make you a great poet. But a very very very nice try brother.

:k: :k: :k:

11

abhi tu doori key her lamhey ko khawab kerna hay

Na to karylay ka zikar karna bohut hi zaroori tha :(

12

Re: abhi tu Doori key her Lamhey ko Khawab kerna hay

very nice :k:

alfaaz ka chunao aur ehsaasaat ka izhar bohot umda tareeqe se kya hae aap ne :k:

keep it up and look fwd to reading more from u :slight_smile:

13

Its really very nice Mr. Chodhry… but it is a bit un-balanced 'cus of this “abhi tu miley bhi nahien, judda hovey beithey ho”… agar iss ko hata diya jae tu aik rythm form hojata hai… Its just an advice :slight_smile:
Plus aik doojay ki jaga agar aik dosray ker diya jae …tu bhi behtar hojae aur…

Otherwise its really very lovely! lafzon ka bohat acha istemaal kia hai… keep writting:k:

14

thats so beautiful chodhry jee :slight_smile:

:k:

15

beautiful :flower1:

thanx for sharing :k:

16

Not bad choi saab! :k: aap main to fankaar chupa hai ander ke fankaar ko kheench kar bahar laane wala icon :stuck_out_tongue:

17

:crying: mujhay aisay comments kioN nahiN miltay :crying: saab mujhy lehtay “nice” good…:frowning:

And on ur poem my coments…

This is REALLY nice…but before making any comment I would like ( or love) to read the whole thing..so plz sunaiN poori poem…

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zabardast :k:

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Beautiful, :flower1:
bohat achi hai .. :slight_smile:

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lovely