abhi tu Doori key her Lamhey ko Khawab kerna hay

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
21

Re: abhi tu Doori key her Lamhey ko Khawab kerna hay

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by chodhry: *
abhi tu ik dojjey key khyaloon mein khooye hovey
ik dojjey ki talash mein
ik dojjey key qadmoon key nishahn dhoondhtey
sirab musafitoon key safar mein
zindgi key un-deikhey rastoon per
achey waqat ki talash mein nidhaal umeed ki
himat bandhani hay

abhi tu ik dojjey key saamney beithey
ik dojjey ki ankhoon mein jhaank ker
ik dojjey key aqas mein bantey
ghilmilatey sitaroon ki tamtamaati zue mein
jaagtey samey meethey sapnoon ki
khush aayend tabeer ki madhoshi mein
apni raqs kerti roohun ki khushi ko
apni rag rag mein behtey khun ki rwanni mein shamil ker key
kasht-e-dil key her her arman ko seirab kerna hay
gaye rutton ki talkh tanhayoon ka hisab kerna hay
abhi tu miley bhi nahien, judda hovey beithey ho
abhi tu doori key her lamhey ko khawab kerna hay

  • by chodhry

bohat bussy tha pechley dinnu, still not getting enuf time, dua ke jeye ga merey liye. apni ik tazza tareen poem post ker rha hoon. hope u guys like it.
[/QUOTE]

Your poem is beautiful.You used such vivid words, that really give so much feeling to the poem.Thank you for sharing.

22

nice one chodry sahib

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I really loved this poem, and curious to read the WHOLE.
Bauhat Khoobsurti sai lafzon ko jo perahan dia hai aapnay,, issay saaf zahir hota hai kai aap ehsaasaat ko is tarha BEYAN karna jaantay hain kai har koi in ehsaasaat ko MEHSOOS karsakay,,, :k KEEP IT UP, CHODHRY BAHII,,,,

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Thankyou ** Koyal, Dania_2000, Vivo, Sohail bhai, cuteepie, HeArT HaCKeR, and amirbilal **

** arfin99 ** bohat shukrya aap ki pasanddedgi ka, bas koshish kerta hoon key ju mehsoos ker rha hoon wahi kagaz pey aa jaye. poori poem insha Allah jab likh li tu send keroon ga aap ko.

Muslim_Queen bohat shukria aap ka key aap ney es nazam mein chuppi feelings ko mehsoos kia hey.

Swera ji janaaab, aa pko detaild reply tu ker dia tha pm pey. bohat shukrya aap ki suggestions ka bhi aur pasanddeedgi ka bhi. and i am waiting for more imptovemnts from you. jis terh kha tha us terh perh key bataana hey aap ney

Khanzada jinaab bohat shukryaa, aap ki aankh bohat acha deilkhti heyy..ehhehe mottay mottey chasmoon key peechey seey ankoon ko bahir nikalney wala icon** hehehe

*Philanthrope * hmmmm, mein aap ki suggestions per seriously goor ker rh ahoon dojey ki nisbat doosrey sey shyed rawani zyada aa jay ebut mughey dojey zada sweet feel hota tha. aur "abhi miley bhi nahien wali line es liye add ki kioon key wahi tu sooch thee pori nazam ki. ussi ki waja sey tu nazam banni porri. but bohat shukriaa i know ts unbalanced, actually rabt pey itna deihaan nahien dey sakka mein chata tha key sentance break na ho es llieeyy. aap bhi es terh sey perh key dobaatr bataye, key line key end ko baat ka end na samghien just visulaize kerien and add comming lines as u go along. shyed aap ko aik nye feel milley es mein...

irem bohat shukria iram, u r so nice to me. i am tryin gto improv ethe rabt in the poem as u said in PM.

Azad aap ki samjh mein lamhey ka chakar nahien aye gaa..hehehe

btw aap waqee aisey ho y asirf bantey ho...;) but thanks anyways ur replies always put a smile on my face

** Black Mamba bhai ** once again, aap ki positive suggestions aur pasandeedgi ka bohat shukria. yaar actually yeh experiment ker rh atha mein lambey sentance mein nazam kehney ka. pehla th ana es lye kuch lasar reh gye hey

Golden_Scorpion thank you jinaab, waqt key saath saath kuch n kuch sekh jata hey banda, n i now personaly feel key us track pey a gy ahoon ju sahih terf ley jaye ga ager mehnat kerta rha, thankypu for ur encouragement.

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zAbArDuSt:k:
.
.
.
.
ThAnX 4 sHaRiN

26

It Very good........:)

Bohat hi achi........

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abhi tu ik dojjey key khyaloon mein khooye hovey
ik dojjey ki talash mein
ik dojjey key qadmoon key nishahn dhoondhtey
sirab musafitoon key safar mein
zindgi key un-deikhey rastoon per
achey waqat ki talash mein nidhaal umeed ki
himat bandhani hay
abhi tu ik dojjey key saamney beithey
ik dojjey ki ankhoon mein jhaank ker
ik dojjey key aqas mein bantey
ghilmilatey sitaroon ki tamtamaati zue mein
jaagtey samey meethey sapnoon ki
khush aayend tabeer ki madhoshi mein
apni raqs kerti roohun ki khushi ko
apni rag rag mein behtey khun ki rwanni mein shamil ker key
kasht-e-dil key her her arman ko seirab kerna hay
gaye rutton ki talkh tanhayoon ka hisab kerna hay
abhi tu miley bhi nahien, judda hovey beithey ho
abhi tu doori key her lamhey ko khawab kerna hay

Wha kiya baat hai lucky you you are still searching hamari talash behi khatam hoo gayee hai

Each and every word is well said... Khush rahoo yaar...

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Nice chodry ji :k:

is it yours ?

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fit hai choudhry bhai:k:…keep it up!

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excellent job love it

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Re: abhi tu Doori key her Lamhey ko Khawab kerna hay

lo janab reply kar diya:-p
waise mazak kay elawa bohut he umda likha hai ap nay:k: :k: :k:
keep it up and i’m lookin forward to read more form u:flower1:

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nice work Chodhry! .....keep it up

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[QUOTE]

*Originally posted by chodhry: *

Azad aap ki samjh mein lamhey ka chakar nahien aye gaa..hehehe

btw aap waqee aisey ho y asirf bantey ho...;) but thanks anyways ur replies always put a smile on my face

[/QUOTE]

Buss aik guzarish hay smile dainay say pehlay brush karna na bholain ...

p.s.
hummm Bhai Chodhry ghar banna banana humray buss ki baat hoti to Hayaa Dara na Bantay ... Khair ..

Woh jiss haal main jaisa rakhay!

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Very well done Chodhry saab:k:…bohat umda..thanx for sharing with us:)

35

Thankyou *PaGaL dEwAnA, Swera, laibah_, BaDsHaH ho Mein, ghazal kisi ke, Guest7777 and Amal bhai *

Thankyou Beenish SR , jee meri apni hey yeh. kioon yaqeen nahien aata aap ko????

bohat shukria Dilsay bhai deikhien talaash tu khatam ho gye hey ab tu rukawatein heinn bas aur ham hein un sey takraatey hovey...dua keejyee ga hamarey lieyyee.

*Azad bhai * aap nahien sudhru gey..hehehhe

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Very Nicely done Chodhry, keep it up buddy :k:

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Thankyou rimsh

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Somehow i still had this pm of yours in my inbox :halo:

So thought to leave a message here as well :smiley:

Waisey… it’s a nice poem… plus you created a nice effort… :slight_smile: