I was born and raised in America…considering the way ABCD (girls especially) are looked down upon by majority of Pakistani population (that’s how I perceive it to be :o), I’ve always shyed away from being considered an ABCD…because I don’t really consider myself confused. I’m Pakistani and American (husband says I’m not Pakistani, but that’s another discussion :o )
I will wear shalwar kameez when the occasion calls for it; I spoke Urdu before I learned English, so while I’m no poet, I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to speak Urdu with elders or family members or friends..I plan on teaching my children to speak Urdu/punjabi as well. I love to cook/eat desi food and majority of my close friends are desi. And of course…I always miss and long to go back to Pakistan every few months.
but oh my GOD when it comes to work or strangers…I get all kindsa nervous and stuff and I really don’t like speaking Urdu/punjabi with them if I can avoid it! See in my job, I’ve had a few clients who were desi (bengali but spoke/understood Urdu) but aside from 1, I never spoke to them in the mother language. part of the insecurity I guess stems from the fact that I don’t look desi, so whenever people find out I’m Pakistani, they’re shocked/surprised and they say some pretty weird/offensive things. But I remember feeling weird about things when I was really young as well…I grew up being the only Pakistani/Muslim in my school/neighborhood, so there was always that self-consciousness…so..hmm..yeah.
Oh and PS. If the term “desi” offends you…too bad :-p
I don't look desi, so whenever people find out I'm Pakistani, they're shocked/surprised and they say some pretty weird/offensive things.
I don't look desi either and people are usually surprised when they find out (I don't have a typical desi name either so that certainly doesn't help). But I've never had anyone give me a negative reaction due to this fact.
So I'm curious......What type of offensive things do people tell you?
Well usually its.. “aap toh bohot healdy [healthy] ho iss liye pakistani nahi lagti.” (like allll pakistani girls are only slim and petite )
“aap toh bohot amreekan lagti ho/bilkul amreekan ho gi ho.”
I know what the desi version of “healdy” means…and I’ve heard it enough times to know that being too “amreekan” isn’t meant in a nice way at all.
Lol…
I dunno about that. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized nothing is black and white..there are so so so many people who are what I call “in-between.” In fact I think the “in-betweens” (the ones who live in Pak but have more western values and their counterparts, the ones who move out of Pakistan as young adults/teens etc) are much much much more common than the ABCD/FOBs.
It is precisely for the reason that Pakistani/Indians dont know when they are going overboard with their comments that I never switch to Urdu with them…At least with their language barrier comments will stick within hi how’re you and what’s new…kind of range.
I guess.
)