Like i said, this is all from my personal experience. It IS a gender issue. Guys want big weddings not for themselves, but to make the girls happy.
I never said I would spend $5,000 for my wedding (dont run away sara and shweets), but that’s how much I would ideally like to spend – I am sure our Prophet (SAW) spent much less than that–but, like you, i live in the real world, and I am aware I will have to spend more than that.