So i was reading some thread…like western paki chics face too much problem finding the right guy, coz the guys are usually stupid and/or they go import a chic..
So, all the chics who face this problem, why don’t you help each other out? Like set up your brothers with some chic similar to your background/views/outlook on life etc?
Like, your brothers are nice right? and then you see other girls facing rishta trouble, why don’t you set people up that way??
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
Honestly, I don’t really think ALL western paki chics have a hard time finding suitable matches…don’t believe everything you see and read here
The vast majority are able to find matches within their sphere of influence/friends/ colleges etc and live happily ever after 
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
I've seen this over here... Ppl don't keep their single friends in mind. Sad but true. I will always keep my friends in mind and try to suggest or set them up with guys that I know. But after they got hitched, they totally forgot about me and our other single female friends.
a lot of people are selfish as well- don't want to say if they have a single brother or single male friends. And males don't really take part in setting up girls they know with others either... End up resorting to matchmakers who suggest guys who have visit visas or work permits.
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Thats a good idea actually.
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see...the response rate on this thread is indicative of how much womenz are willing to help each other........ selfish much !
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
Thats a good idea actually.
Looks like people here don't like good ideas.
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They do...its just how our society is functioning for the time being. This generation had to experience a few things to understand what was right and wrong.
Our kids will be different.
Khalas.
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
i think buttsb is trying to make a really profound point.
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
They do...its just how our society is functioning for the time being. This generation had to experience a few things to understand what was right and wrong.
Our kids will be different.
Khalas.
any comment on the topic?
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
What you're suggesting is a good idea and isn't terribly uncommon. I know of a couple of people who have gone that route. A while back, I introduced a close friend of mine from uni to another friend (who didn't know him) and was looking. It worked out nicely and they're getting married in April. My brother met his wife that way as well, through a friend of his. Recently, my fiance's sister introduced her friend from school to one of her cousins and it seems to be working out so far.
One aspect that may discourage people from doing this more often is the potential for drama if things don't work out between the people they introduced, which may result in awkwardness for all involved parties. Also, if the people you introduced get married but end up getting divorced later, they may blame you because you didn't "foresee" the problem that led to the divorce . That's a rather childish view as it's impossible to predict the future or foresee another person's behaviour but I've seen people go there when things didn't work out according to plan.
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The fancy ones might not be keen to utilize this channel. They dont need their sisters or cousins to be their wingwomen. They may also have different priorities.
ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
…and I don’t have any brothers to set up anyway 
Re: ABCD Rishta Problems - Solution
.. Get some from the local mosque or MSA!
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Good point. I think part of it is that people don't want to set up people and be blamed later for it not working out or blamed for a divorce. Many couples and families will go after the intermediate party when things fall apart. Which is immature, makes people hesitant to help others later.
Also many families who have male cousins - they may be on different continents.
I had lots of girls ask me if there is anyone in my family but all my guy cousins live in Pakistan, and got married to girls they knew there from schooling mostly. Seems like the desis in Pakistan are more progressive about dating and finding partners. We have too many old fashioned ideas in the American families, namely gender segregation, that causes trouble.
If we are to blame women now for not setting up other women, maybe a fair point, but I blame the men. The women are not in charge of masjids, where some healthy intermingling of the sexes needs to be promoted so people can find spouses. We ask why we aren't set up with a friend's brother? I ask why my brothers in the community aren't interested in getting to know the girls who attend their own neighborhood mosques. I'm sure it would be easier to find spouses this way!
It's funny, most guys I talk to regularly go to the mosque, no one has a clue which women attend there, if there are any eligible girls as members of the mosque and don't know if the men they pray next to have sisters looking for husbands.
I've seen a handful of young guys at my mosque to this day no clue who they are!
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I would love to set my brothers up (when it’s time) if they’d take my suggestions. But they are too young right now.
One of my friends once tried to help me out. Funny story. She tells me about some guy (her husband’s best friend) and tells me to check out his fb profile. While she is telling me about him, she and her husband are anxiously whispering things to each other, while I stare at them all confused. Later when I checked out mystery guy, I had to think long and hard. Good education. Good job. Good location. Great personality, according to my friend. But … he wasn’t pleasant looking. In fact, well below ordinary. Still, I gave it some time… consulted my sis… showed his profile to my mom (who by the way freaked out and told me to boycott this friend immediately).
Anyhow, I said no in the end, and when I did, she exhaled a sigh of relief. Her exact words: “What took you so long?”
Geez! Why would you tell me if you yourself find him hideous. What a great friend!
Ek aur friend … she forwarded me this guy’s profile. She goes, the person who recommended this rishta speaks highly of this family. Humein pasand nahi aaya but ho sakta hai, app ko pasand aa jaye. Where is this dude? In Pakistan. Kitna parha hai? Undergrad! 
Aise tu hazaar rishte main bhi tumhe bata sakti thi. Is main khas kya tha?!
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Good education. Good job. Good location. Great personality, according to my friend. But ... he wasn't pleasant looking
How could you tell he had a great personality just by looking at his profile? The rest; education, job, location do not define a person.
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How could you tell he had a great personality just by looking at his profile? The rest; education, job, location do not define a person.
"Great personality, according to my friend."
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The rest; education, job, location do not define a person.
These things may not define a person, but they are definitely significant factors to consider. Take for example, location. Depending on where you live, the immigration process may be expensive and rather difficult. This is especially true in some of the Scandinavian countries. If you live in such a country and know that your family has limited means, you may want to take this into account and search locally before looking abroad (which would result in travel and immigration expenses in addition to the wedding expenses).
The same can be said about a person's job. Most would agree that a person who is perpetually unemployed (or holds a dead-end job and shows no desire to improve their situation) isn't a very good marriage prospect. Not only will they not be able to contribute to the household or support a family when necessary, but the fact that they are continuously unemployed speaks rather negatively about their work ethic.
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Guys who have bachelors from Pakistan aren't all that bad. There are many smart cookies who are well spoken, and know how to take care of a woman well.
Just talk to the guys first regardless of how they look on paper.
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How can a person's education not define them? Yes, that's not all there is to see but it is definitely one of the most important thing to look at.
When you look for work, your education is what matters the most. I don't see how anyone can question a girl looking at the guy's education, everyone wants security and it starts with the guys secure job/work.